The following is coming from a psychotic, hormonal, emotional, state of rage and annoyance. I acknowledge that I’m being completely irrational. Now, allow me to rant.
I woke this morning at 6 am with my husband’s alarm. Instead of drifting back to sleep like I do any other morning, I shot up and began trying to rub my own shoulders, neck and back because they were on fire. I guess I slept wrong on the Snoogle (which- tangent alert!- has totally lost all fluff and support in the lower half and is not standing up to this second pregnancy very well, and that is CRAP considering how much I paid for it… should totally get more than 6 months use out of a $60 pillow… anyway…), and I was in serious pain. It was the kind of pain I couldn’t fall back to sleep with, but EVEN IF I COULD it wouldn’t have done much good because my husband stayed in bed for an hour hitting snooze every 15 minutes.
So, being the considerate wife I am, I figured he didn’t sleep well last night either, and I’d wait to ask him to rub my shoulders and back for me until he was awake for the day. One hour later and I finally poked him in the ribs and mumbled, “Uhm, are you planning on getting up for work sometime today?”
“Huh, oh… yeah… sorry. Tired.”
“Okay, well you’ve got to stop hitting snooze. And could you please rub my shoulders and back for me? They are killing me. It’s so bad I have a headache.”
He rolls over and half asses a one shoulder rub with his sleepy hands, and we all know sleepy hands give SHITTY back rubs. I told him this much. I said he was not doing a very good job with his sleepy hands. So he gets out of bed, gets dressed, and instead of coming back to give me a proper back rub after getting up and getting the blood flowing (like I thought he would), he goes to his office and starts the day.
I laid in bed and fucking cried like a hormonal, psychotic pregnant woman. And then I tweeted about it.
I AM IN PAIN BECAUSE I AM GROWING YOUR CHILD AND I AM TIRED AND YOU DON’T CARE!! I took care of you when you were sick last week. I woke up in the middle of the night to check on you. AND YOU CAN NOT GIVE ME A DECENT BACKRUB?!
I got up and got Kendall ready for school. I packed his lunch and took care of the dogs and got us both dressed. There was much slamming of doors and passive aggressive huffing around from me, I will admit.
Then, right before I left the house, I lost it on him. I told him how he was insensitive and it’s HARD growing a baby sometimes and I’d just really appreciate a little support.
And he laughed.
He laughed at me!
This is not funny!! Yet.
Yes, we will all laugh at how ridiculous I am LATER, but not now.
I left, dropped Kendall off, grabbed donuts at the grocery store and then argued with the INCOMPETENT ROBOT that is self checkout and now I’m home.
And my shoulders are still sore. And yes, I know I’m crazy and this is stupid, and maybe I should give my husband a break for putting up with me… but NO… he could have given me a better back rub. Bottom line. Except now I’m too stubborn to let him touch me.
Excuse me while I go eat half a box of Krispy Kremes.
I am 24 weeks pregnant and a raving lunatic.