Kendall has discovered the power he holds between his butt cheeks. Poop is now the great negotiating tool in the house.
Anytime he thinks he might need my attention he shouts “POOPY POTTY!” I, of course, drop what I’m doing, respond, “Do you need to go potty?!”
“NO!!” he shouts and follows it with a hearty belly laugh, now quite happy that I’ve left my task at hand. He usually follows it up by quickly grabbing my hand and leading me to his box of toys or taking me to the pantry and begging for a snack.
Tonight he sat on the toilet and the conversation went a little something like this…
Me- “Do you have any poopies in your tummy to get out?” <<YES, I’M FULLY AWARE I SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT. LAUGH ALL YOU WANT.
Me- “Okay, then put the poopies in the potty. Push them out!”
Me- “What do you mean ‘no’? Get the poopies out, Kendall, so we can put your Diego undies back on and you can go play.”
Kendall- “NO! No, no, no, NO!”
Me- “Kendall, you need to calm down. Please try to go poop. Just try one squeeze for me. Then you can have an M&M.”
Kendall- “mmmmm… No. Peach?”
Me- “You want a peach? We don’t have any more peaches. You get an M&M after you go poopy.”
Kendall- “mmmmm… Cake?”
Me- “No. We don’t have any cake, Kendall.”
Kendall- “mmmmm… walnut?”
Me- ::silent, mulling it over:: “Uh, well, sure. You can have a walnut. Do you want a walnut?”
Kendall – “Yes!”
Me- “Go poop then, please.”
Kendall- :: squeezes it out on demand::
Is this when I’m not supposed to hate the playa, just the game?
Kendall is 2 and an evil genius