Kendall has discovered the power he holds between his butt cheeks. Poop is now the great negotiating tool in the house.
Anytime he thinks he might need my attention he shouts “POOPY POTTY!” I, of course, drop what I’m doing, respond, “Do you need to go potty?!”
“NO!!” he shouts and follows it with a hearty belly laugh, now quite happy that I’ve left my task at hand. He usually follows it up by quickly grabbing my hand and leading me to his box of toys or taking me to the pantry and begging for a snack.
Tonight he sat on the toilet and the conversation went a little something like this…
Me- “Do you have any poopies in your tummy to get out?” <<YES, I’M FULLY AWARE I SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT. LAUGH ALL YOU WANT.
Kendall- “Yes.”
Me- “Okay, then put the poopies in the potty. Push them out!”
Kendall- “No.”
Me- “What do you mean ‘no’? Get the poopies out, Kendall, so we can put your Diego undies back on and you can go play.”
Kendall- “NO! No, no, no, NO!”
Me- “Kendall, you need to calm down. Please try to go poop. Just try one squeeze for me. Then you can have an M&M.”
Kendall- “mmmmm… No. Peach?”
Me- “You want a peach? We don’t have any more peaches. You get an M&M after you go poopy.”
Kendall- “mmmmm… Cake?”
Me- “No. We don’t have any cake, Kendall.”
Kendall- “mmmmm… walnut?”
Me- ::silent, mulling it over:: “Uh, well, sure. You can have a walnut. Do you want a walnut?”
Kendall – “Yes!”
Me- “Go poop then, please.”
Kendall- :: squeezes it out on demand::
Is this when I’m not supposed to hate the playa, just the game?
Kendall is 2 and an evil genius
Available now: Amazon | Barnes & Noble
17 comments
Hey – AT LEAST this story ended with him shitting in the potty and not his pants! All’s well that ends well. 🙂
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! So not laughing at you I swear I just know this scene all too well. We are mostly done playing it out. MOST of the time Big Sister goes on the potty and even asks. Although I do have to pay attention to the subtle difference in answers when I ask “do you need to go potty?” “No, don’t want to.” is VERY different from “no, me no go potty.” The first means “yes I have to go but am only going to do it if you make me” while the second is “no I really do not have to go.” But hey as long as they go in the potty it is a good thing.
Totally unrelated to this post but in reference to your tweeting about breast pumps earlier today I have to say I think you need an electric one. I think the manual ones are not really good at fully draining the milk and that is why you had mastitis issues. I pumped SO much in preparation for Little Sister to come home and I exclusively pumped for her for months and never had mastitis issues from my electric pump – I did have issues when it broke and I used a manual for a few days until the other one came. Sorry for being off topic on your post.
Hahaha! It’s good you can recognize the difference. I need to work on that.
Oh, and thanks for the pumping advice. I never thought of that! Don’t mind you butting in at all 🙂
Man. It takes talent to poo on demand.
Clearly this is a skill we should be honing so that he can use it to make millions in the future.
I can so visualize this conversation. I am laughing so hard, I have tears in my eyes. Tell Kendall Nae Nae is very proud of him and his command of all things potty and poop
I’m glad he’s going poopy in the potty….LOL. Jack went for the first time at his Gmas. He made her keep it until we showed up. While I was very happy that he did it, I did not enjoy the suprise when I opened the lid.
I’ve pretty much resorted to bribing him with anything to get to just pee….LOL
bwah, ha ha! “terrific terrorist twos.” freaking lurve it. he sounds like a smart little cookie – and oh boy those can be a challenge! ;D
cheers and best of luck!
Awesomeness!
Your negotiating skills need improvement. 😉
Hahahahaha!!!! Too funny. If it makes you feel any better, I still have trouble getting James to poop in the potty. Finally at 3.5 yrs old, he pees in the big potty standing up..that was a huge milestone around here. I have no room to brag though, the kid still shits in his pants more often then I’d like to admit.
Erin, I can’t imagine the mess that would be letting him pee standing up. OMG. I don’t even ever want that day to come. He’ll get made fun of if I tell him all boys sit to pee, won’t he?
Oh how I love that Kendall wanted peaches and walnuts over M&M’s!
I really am quite proud of all the healthy snacks he loves to eat. The problem is these healthy snacks have a ton of fiber in them, leading him to be VERY regular, meaning many trips to poop on the potty during the day 🙂
So funny. At least he actually poops sometimes. Brady yells “poop!” just to get our attention and then refuses to actually poop on the potty.
[…] another attempt to buy himself some time on the potty before making his deposit the other day, he dramatically threw his head on my lap (I was sitting […]
[…] and toys and Diego and ANYTHING to get my attention. Kendall also does this thing where he shouts that he has to go “poopy potty!” anytime I’m not paying sufficient attention to him, not necessarily when he actually has to […]