I Caved to the “Ugly Shoes”

Never say never. How many times have I uttered that? It should be tattooed on every new parent’s arm. A CONSTANT reminder. I bet if I could find that parenting manual that shot out of my vagina and got lost somewhere in the hospital, there would be a whole chapter repeating those words, over and over. But, I thought, surely there were SOME things I could say with confidence that I would never buy for my child. I mean, I have control over my wallet, right? I should be able to say what I will and won’t spend money on.

Well, I’ve done it again. I’ve caved to the monster that is the inevitability of parenthood. I turned to the dark side. Today I purchased….

CROCS!!! AHHHHHHHH!!! Hold me. I’m scared.

Now, watch me justify my purchase.

Okay, if ever there were an acceptable subset of people to wear foam clogs with holes in them, it would be toddlers, right? Especially toddlers with SHREK feet, feet so extra fat that I can barely get the Velcro of his extra wide sandals to close. That kind of toddler really needs big, fat, forgiving foam clogs. And that kind of toddler also happens to be the kind of toddler who’s really digging his new found independence and melting into a pile of 2 year old tears and frustration any time he can’t put his own shoes on. That kind of toddler is also loving the ease with which he can take off his flip-flops while in the car, and giggles maniacally when he launches them at the back of my head while driving. That kind of toddler loves to help his daddy water the garden every day, leaving his shoes soaking wet and covered in mud, causing his expensive sneakers, made especially for the fat-foot-freak variety of toddler, to stink after drying outside overnight.

So we bought some “greeeen shooooos!” today. He loves them, doesn’t want to take them off, wants to nap in them. I’ve never seen this sort of reaction to shoes in anyone other than a grown woman with a pair of Manolos. The Crocs store sort of smells, and I think that smell must be the toddler crack they dust on the shoes.

I sort of hate to admit it, but he kind of looks ridiculously adorable in them.

Also, let this picture be a visual for my parenting style right now, allowing the child to nosh from the Cheezits box while watching probably the 5th TV show of the day, standing atop a carpeted floor that might be a different color if I vacuumed.

But he is cute, no? And he does LOVE those damn shoes, so much that he didn’t even try to take them off and throw them at me in the car, and he begged and pleaded to sleep in them tonight. I confess, I’m even thinking of a second pair in another color.

So tell me… what have you bought your kid that you swore you’d never spend your money on?

Kendall is 2 years old and I’m 11 weeks pregnant

Hey, here’s a #helpSam update for everyone! We are sitting at $6,099 right now, $5,099 more than my original $1k goal! We’ve already paid for 4 months of COBRA insurance for Sam, and our new goal is to pay for 5. We need to raise $7,500 by June 11th (9 days away). We can SO do this. You all have been AMAZING so far. Seriously, every day I am brought to tears by your generosity, the sweet messages and emails, the encouraging tweets. Cassie and her family are moved by what you have done. Her tweet to me today said, “$1,500 seemed unreal… this is incredible. We’re blown away by the generosity.” Please help us get there. If you haven’t read Sam’s story yet, go here. Thanks so much for helping me #helpSam.

50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide
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  1. Re: your parenting style. Would it be weird if I said I kind of love you? Because it’s kinda the same way for me at the moment, and I’m not even pregnant!

    And the shoes are cute! My 18 month old would probably go freakazoid on them too. He is obsessed with shoes right now. Unhealthily.

    • Oh Good Lord! No. No, no, no, no. Gina, that’s not going to happen. You can rest well knowing our friendship will stay in tact.

  2. the parenting style- totally acceptable and normal once #2 is in the oven. Once #2 is out- its even MORE acceptable.

    the shoes- I said the same thing, over and over and over. Then I bought camo colored ones. For all the same reasons you just listed. As long as they arent still wearing them when they go to kindergarten (which mine is doing in August) then we are good. 🙂

  3. This post makes me so happy! I bought blue crocs for my son’s first summer shoes. We did crocs for a few years and now do Keens in the summer.

    I said I’d never buy character things (like clothing or backpacks with Elmo, Cars, etc). Yah. The obsessive powers of a preschooler trump my motherly-willpower any day.

  4. Yeah, I pretty much did the same thing when I was preggo with #2! Anything to make life just a little easier!!!

    As for me, there are SOOO many things I have caved on…like taking them out in just a onesie (I initially had a rule that any child MUST wear some sort of bottoms because I frankly hate onesies that much), let the toddler eat junk (like cookies, cake, non-organic foods), and so much more.
    Proud to say I haven’t given into the Crocs or baby leash….yet.

  5. My son has super fat feet, I’m soooo going on a hunt for baby crocs today. Why didn’t I think of this?? I fight him every single time I put shoes on him. I even bought him a really nice pair of New Balance that he refuses to let me put on his feet and once they do get on his feet he throws himself to the floor screaming because to be honest I think they hurt his fat little feet.

    Confession: I own a pair of black mary jane crocs, I wear them in the yard because they are really easy to just hose off. I rarely wear them in public but on the off chance I do I always feel like THAT croc wearing lady and try to make my outing as quick as possible for fear I might just run into someone who knows me.

  6. NO!!! Say it isn’t so!!! Crocs give me the heebie jeebies.

    Although, I have to admit… Kendall DOES make them look almost fashionable! 😉

  7. Barney videos. My sister-in-law “graciously” gave us her son’s old Barney videos and I thought “I’ll just let them watch one and then give it away. Well, one turned into letting them watch all ten, keeping them and buying one every time we see a new one at a garage sale. Ugh!

    • My little brother was a toddler at the peak of Barney mania and I’m scared for life. Kendall hasn’t discovered him yet and I actively go out of my way to avoid exposure.

  8. Cracking up laughing at this.

    We’ve not reached the “throwing the flip flops” at the back of Mommy’s head while driving stage yet, but I fear we’re not far away.

    I loathe Crocs, but they look adorable on Kendall. And my kid’s got Shrek feet. I feel myself starting to cave….

  9. I think they’re cute on little kids! Adults, not so much.

    Word of warning: stay away from escalators, or watch him like a hawk if you go on one. My firm represents Crocs, and we have case after case of kids’ toes and feet getting chewed up by escalators because their Crocs got caught in the side or in the teeth at the top or bottom. Not fun.

    • I’ve heard of that before and definitely will keep an eye out for that situation. For now, any place that’s big enough to need an escalator usually means it’s big enough to necessitate riding in the stroller and we take elevators, but thanks for the reminder.

  10. Ahh. I had the exact same Croc aversion and SWORE I wouldn’t cave. When my son got really, really whiny on a Hawaii vacation last year, I finally, finally caved. I was at the end of my long rope and, at the ripe old age of 10 (years, not months) he finally has a pair of navy Crocs. Life will never be the same.

  11. I would have never bought them. BUT- *someone* (grandma!) bought my 15 month old daughter a pair of pink ones. She loves them. LOVES them. And I have to say, when these are outgrown she’ll probably get a new pair in the same adorable pepto pink color!

  12. Michelle Nolan on

    Yep, my kid wears Crocs. She’s got WIDE feet! I also admit that I wore them TO WORK in a corporate environment wile pregnant because I was HUGELY SWOLLEN for months! I did, at least, get the black ones without holes so as to try to blend in.

    I’m also letting my kid eat cookies for dinner b/c she’s had a 101-103 fever all day.

    Ya do what ya gotta do.

  13. Chocolate milk! I always saw young kids drinking chocolate milk and said to myself “why doesnt their mom give them regular milk – that is way too much sugar”.

    Now whenever I treat myself to Starbucks my toddler goes right for the chocolate milk and it’s just not worth the fight to stop him. I totally get it now.

  14. This is a very easy post for me because my cave came on my daughter’s 2nd birthday (May 18th). I SWORE I would NEVER buy licensed things ie. spiderman shoes, dora shirts, disney characters…NONE of it! BUT I knew my daughter really, really wanted a backpack. I didn’t want to spend too much money and it needed to be perfect size etc. I searched all over town until it was so close to her birthday party I had to buy something locally instead of online to make it in time for the party. I caved to the purple Dora backpack. I even called my Mom to have her help me come up with a solution so I didn’t have to buy it. It was the perfect size, color, and price and of course….SHE LOVES IT! She takes it and wears it everywhere. Damn you Dora!

  15. Im so glad you’ve come to the dark side. We LOVE crocs for Drew. That is pretty much the only shoe he wears the whole summer.

    • Oh and Drew also has super big feet. In fact the only place we can by shoes for his extra wide feet is stride rite. Makes our choices very limited. But with crocs I can buy ‘normal’ sizes for once.

  16. Oh man! If this isn’t the parenting lesson to learn than what is?

    My sister gave my boy a pair of baby blue crocs…and he freakin’ loves them. Easy to put on and I guess they must be comfortable too. So, my tiny tot wears his blue crocs!

  17. I haven’t ever commented here but this post totally hit home with me! I loathe crocs and have always said no crocs allowed in my house! but I can actually see how they would really work for a toddler. I’m still not ready to give in though! I have a son who’s about 6 months younger than Kendall and so far they seem to have a lot in common. I have been reading your blog since I was pregnant and I always look to it to get a little glimpse of my near future. I really look forward to your posts and this one was a fantastic one!

  18. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODON’T DO IT!!!! HA! I actually belong to a FB group, “I don’t care how popular they are, you look like a dumba$$ in those crocs”!! LOL!! And seriously, I have a REAL reason besides the ugliness of it all….my son was 10, old enough to decide for himself, so I caved too…until I found out the hard way how SLIPPERY they are, NO GRIP at all, when he went flying on wet paving stones in Disney World, flew in the air, & came down on his head…unconcious…ambulance…Disney World…cause we’re the Griswolds….never again, all 4 of my kids have just stopped asking LOL!

    • Oh no!! That is a terrible story! Ugh. Well, thanks for the cautionary tale. I’ll def. keep an eye on him when out on slippery surfaces.

  19. I never understood the Crocs phenomenon … until my toddler started wearing them. Darn if they aren’t the cutest things ever on his chubby little feet, and he lurves them because he can put them on and off by himself.

    So, yes, I just went and bought 3 more pairs off eBay. So sue me. (And one is — ducks head in shame — Pirates of the Caribbean themed.)

    • LMAO. I looked at the jibitz today, until I realized they screamed choking hazard. I’ve saved a small piece of my dignity for a little while longer.

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