I get the feeling you’re taking this whole food aversion phase a little too personally. Here’s the thing, it’s not about you. It’s not about your food, your cooking. It makes NO SENSE that I don’t even want to see the raw hamburger meat (gag, typing that made me gag) let alone smell it…cooking, I GET THAT. It makes NO SENSE that, though I really wanted Mexican food yesterday, I can’t stand the thought of eating the black bean quesadillas you made tonight and instead REALLY want a bowl of noodles covered in soy sauce. I GET THAT. Can you just be okay with things not making sense right now?
And can you please, oh my God, please just stop suggesting random shit to eat? I have looked in the pantry, I have taken inventory of the refrigerator, I know my options, dear. And the reason why I’m not eating them, ANY of them? They all make me a shade of sick. So please, please stop making me recall this laundry list of various shades of sick by rattling them off to me.
Remember how before I was growing your baby I used to be able to feed myself? Hell, you would leave me for 2 weeks at a time for business trips and I managed to feed your son and myself the whole time. We were both well fed when you got home. The thing is – I CAN STILL DO THAT. I know you want to do your part, and stuff. I know you want to take some sort of active role in the growth and development of this fetus, and I know that means you take pride in feeding me. I promise I will give you all the opportunities to do just that as soon as the second trimester starts.
Until then, this is the rule. I will feed myself what I want when I want. I am politely declining any help from you for the time being. It’s not you, it’s not even me, IT’S THE BABY. Blame the fetus.
Your wife who is SO happy she was able to eat pad thai tonight instead of those bean quesadillas
8.5 weeks pregnant
Halfway through this post I laughed and remembered a very similar one I wrote around the same time during my pregnancy with Kendall, though that letter directly took issue with my finicky fetus.