I probably spent the first 27 years of my life in anticipation of what was next, looking ahead. First to when my age would be in the “double digits”, then to when I got my first locker, then my first bra. In high school I dreamt of college. In college I dreamt of a career. In my career, I dreamt of more success. I counted down the days to my wedding, then begged for my pregnancy to fly by.
On May 2, 2008, I was flung with such force into the time warp that is parenthood that my nipples caught on fire. (Okay, it’s possible the nipple fire thing was just the result of the breastfeeding learning curve.) I’ve spent the last nearly 2 years trying to figure out how to navigate this new space/time continuum. I wished away many a colicky day with my newborn son, only to wake up one morning and realize he barely fit in his swaddle blanket, and I couldn’t go around calling him a newborn anymore. It scared the hell out of me. I had to find a way to stop time or at least slow it down.
“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life,” I read that one day online. It stuck with me. It’s become my motto. My PASSION. To be HAPPY for this moment. To cherish who I am and who surrounds me right now. There’s no way to stop time, but I can certainly savor it a bit more. Am I perfect at it? No. It’s been quite challenging, admittedly, as we approach the terrorist terrific twos. But even mid tantrum, mid ear piercing scream, while bits of food fly past my face, I still try to look at him, love him, and be happy for this moment… which I might use to blackmail him one day.
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This is my entry to the Mabel’s Labels Blogher ’10 contest, in response to the hypothetical situation “Electrical storms are going to wipe out the Internet (perhaps forever). You have one day left to write about your passions: what do you want to say to the blogosphere in 300 words or less?” It’s a subject that’s always on my mind these days. If you didn’t watch the video I posted over the weekend, you should. Definitely worth sitting through, in my opinion.
Kendall is 22.5 months old
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13 comments
Thanks for the reminder, Jill! Some days these little gremlins are so rough to deal with, but before I know it, they will be off to college. I’ve tried to commit myself to this (several times), and sometimes I forget to be grateful for the time I have with them, even when they are being little monsters.
So true. It feels like you push push push to a goal then it comes and goes leaving you just looking to the next one, but somehow you wonder what happened to everything in between…
Loved this post.
A book I read (well, listened to) called “The Power of Now” by Tolle is really all about this idea. I loved it and it helped me so much.
Not just in enjoying the moment, but it made me realize how much of my “now” was spent worrying/fretting about something that had already happened or something I was afraid would happen. I wasted a lot of time that way.
Ooh, I’ll have to add that to my list of books I hope to read before my kid goes to college 🙂 Sounds good.
And I so hear you on the worrying your moment way thing. That’s something I’ve been working really hard on, too. It’s done wonders for my anxiety level.
What a perfect post Jill! You said so many things that I’ve been thinking about recently. I was THE SAME way. In public school I couldn’t wait to get to middle school, then I couldn’t wait to get to high school, then I couldn’t wait til I got my license and started college and moved out AND AND AND…but since being a parent, I’m no longer wishing away my time. I’m enjoying it, as you are! 😉
So beautifully put! I was just discussing this exact subject with Hubby last night. I wish I knew how to enjoy every single second. How never to feel overwhelmed. I do the best I can and I am with my kids all day everyday but yet somehow I still feel like I am missing things. Sigh
Amen, Jill. I have always been like that and now time flies way too quickly. My ‘newborn’ is closing in on 5 months? When did this happen?
Thank you so much for this entry, and for that quote. I am sitting up, unable to go to sleep, as my jaundiced 5-day-old sleeps under the bili lights. I was pretty upset about all of this, and wishing I could just fast forward to when it’s over. Granted that’s probably only a few days, but I don’t want to wish any days of his young life away. So thank you again for this reminder. I really appreciate it.
Courtney, congrats on your new baby! I hope the jaundice passes quickly and you can enjoy life as a new mom.
and now I’m crying . . . geesh! I can’t deal with these pregnancy hormones! But yeah, I feel the same way. It just passes by so quickly. I often think of myself, old and gray, sitting in a chair on the front porch of the beautiful house we’ll own outright and I smile. I smile because of what I already know I will have accomplished in my life. I was a good wife, a good mom and a good friend. Isn’t that all that really matters in the end?
I think that passion and anticipation can go together. It really is a fine balance between living today and planning for tomorrow. Especially so when you are feeling burnt out or tired from yesterday. I really try hard to give into moments and indulge myself for at least a moment. Even if I am annoyed or frustrated or over tired from working a night shift…I try hard to enjoy kissing my boys chubby toddler thighs or reading him the same book again and again.
Great post and spot on. Time rushes by so quickly when you watch your kids growing and changing before your eyes.
Savouring the moment is one of life’s most spiritual lessons but it really is tough. Especially when so many of those moments can seem monotonous as a new mama. We can only try!
I have a large tile in my living room that has the saying, “Enjoy this moment…for THIS moment is your life” on it. It is the best saying, isn’t it? Makes you kinda stop in your tracks and enjoy the simplest things for what they are – a blessing. Wonderful blog entry!!!
P.S. This is probably a very weird, creepy comment…but, I wish you were my neighbor! We’d have so much fun sitting in the back yard, drinking a glass of wine and watching our kiddos play! Ahhh – enjoy that moment! (maybe I should have had one less glass of wine now that I re-read this!) 🙂