I get by with a little help from my friends.

Being a stay at home mom can feel really isolating. It’s not uncommon for me to go 6 hours without speaking out loud to another adult. Maybe that’s why I’m addicted to the internet, social networking and technology, and keep my Iphone near me like it’s an IV drip of life saving fluid.

Because even on days when I can’t manage to make a phone call (which, honestly, happens rarely anyway, except to my BFF Bonnie who also has a toddler son and totally understands when I go all Tourettes on her in the middle of a conversation), I can still reach out and touch some sanity saving sistas.

Of course, the street goes both ways, and last night I was on the receiving end of the most hilarious string of text messages I’ve ever received. My college friend Jaimee has a little boy about 6 months older than Kendall. As with all of my friends who have the joy of raising a toddler right now, it seems the topics of potty training and poop really bring out the kindred spirit in us.

J: “Currently sitting in a dark closet…O has a flashlight…while he poops in his potty…he is doing great peeing in the big potty, but prefers to poop in the dark in a closet?!?  Hmmm…Fun times in toddlerville! Thought u may enjoy the visual!”

Me :”Hahahahahahahhaa that’s hilarious! Made my night. Have fun!”

J: “Yeah a blast…whoever came up w/this portable potty was an idiot…the way I see it I just added a step…still clean his bottom…AND  a giant potty of poop.”

Me: “Can I put this on my blog?” I’m polite like that and ask, even though all my friends should know they are fair game for blog fodder.

J: “Of course you can…it was just one of those moments where I was questioning my potty training game plan…he was insisting that I sit next to him in the closet…I told him to hang on, so I could get my Blackberry… then he proceeded to fill that thing with days worth of poop…the smell… ugh!! All to get him to poop in the potty…really?!? Sorry…I could go on forever about this stuff!”

And just to know that my friend, who once joined me and 3 other friends on a 14 hour drive to Panama City Beach for Spring Break, could also go on and on forever in one way or another about toddler poop is enough to make me smile and feel a little more sane, or at least in good company.

Kendall is almost 22 months old and not any closer to potty training than he was 2 months ago, but I haven’t tried the in the dark with a flashlight trick yet.

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  1. OKAY, I read the whole post, but the part that I just can’t get over is that THANK GOODNESS I am not the only one who has dysfunctional phone conversations. If I had a penny for every time the person on the other end has either been hung up on or started asking me if everything’s alright because I sound like I just had a seizure? I’d be wealthy enough to buy America outright.

    Also, I totally time my walks to coincide with when mail is delivered in adjacent neighborhoods. Because sometimes I see other mothers as desperate for conversation as I am running to get their mail. Seriously.

    • Oh, the phone conversations are TERRIBLE. I love when people are all, “Oh, is this a bad time?” Uhm, yeah, but so is every OTHER MINUTE OF MY LIFE right now…. so keep talking and just ignore me when I shout, “Stop that!” or “You better get down!” or “We do NOT play with knives and lighters!”.

      Uh, and that’s a pretty brilliant plan you got there with the mail thing.

  2. I guess you were not around for my own poop rant yesterday. Yet, it is strikingly similar to your friends and not alike at all. Let me do a bit of a blow by blow play of how it went down on twitter

    Me: I just had to go on a turd hunt

    Me: Found it in his brothers room and not his.

    Me:Really trying not to read into that he chose brothers room to lay turd in. Toilet training is failing on all levels here.

    Me:OMG, I forgot the best part! I found it IN the closet with doors closed. He’s a closet pooper. Just fab.

    Me:I asked T where poopies go he says “In the garden?”

    Me:So I’m guessing that toilet training is going to have to wait until my garden is open for the season

    I am really intrigued that another child pooped in a closet yesterday. Well at least she had a landing pad for his, mine was just like a loaf just sitting there.

    • So really what you are saying is I just need to put the potty in the closet and dig a hole in the back yard. Sounds like a plan. Also, sorry for your troubles, but that’s hilarious.

  3. Oh I know exactly what you mean. Lately facebook is my lifeline. It has reconnected me with some really great people and we can laugh and laugh about the life we once shared and the ones we are now loving.

    As for the potty well – it goes with the territory. We were doing really well and then got hit with a stomach bug and now we are trying to get back on track. I’ve done a lot of stinky laundry this week – and I’m not talking diapers. 🙂

  4. I don’t even answer my phone if the boys are awake…it is pointless. I may be able to get in 5 minutes, but I end up getting so frustrated when I say, “What?” for the 6th time because I can’t hear the person on the other line. It is never a good time for me to talk on the phone. Internet is better.

  5. My favorite kind of phone convo ends with, me gasping, toddler launching into screams, and then my saying, “gotta go!” and hanging up. Yeah, the hubby loves sitting and waiting for me to call him back to tell him that she’s still alive after that.

    On another note, I have to have those poop conversations at work. I am a college prof and in between classes, during my office hour, I have text messages waiting for me from the nanny. So here I am advising a student on the many, lucrative career options for history majors and then I glance at my phone and say, “YES! She pooped in the POTTY! Sorry, but I HAVE to reply to this.” And any sense of authority/expertise I had goes melting into my shoes.

  6. Those friendships are so valuable. It’s nice when you can have a conversation with a mom friend who doesn’t get annoyed when your kid is screaming in the background.

  7. Shannon Kieta on

    You HAVE to be related to me is some sort! You are one funny lady! I have been down this road at least three to eight times a day! It is a long journey isn’t it? Sometime’s I go through my little address book of friends and call everyone I know. Most of my friends work, so they can’t sit on the phone and chat all day! Damn! I used to talk to my sister-in-law every morning, but she started to get on my nerves when she started with her daughter is smarter than every child in our family! WTF? How do you go from being diagnosed with Autism to being a genius??? Hmmmm, interesting! Anyhoo, we are having issues here now about eating dinner. We have accomplished the potty thing, after THREE YEARS OF UNSUCCESSFUL TRYING… it finally worked!!! Both poping and peeing! Woohoo! So, NOW, I am trying to get the SIT DOWN AND EAT YOUR DINNER routine on. Any suggestions???? Shannon

  8. I can completely relate to the internet and technology being a lifeline. If it weren’t for my online friends I’d probably be on meds! I don’t think I’ve had a text conversation as hilarious as the one you described, but it’s nice to know I can post something my kids have done on Twitter or Facebook and get instant feedback that lets me know I’m not insane. 🙂

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