I am so excited my friend Sam, an amazingly awesome person and artist, is sponsoring this week’s Memos From Mommy! Sam does more than just paint and draw. She’s truly passionate about her subjects and goes to great lengths to advocate for their well-being and the preservation of their environments. Who are these lucky subjects? Bugs! And frogs! And bees! And lots of other cool nature stuff. You can read more about Sam and all she’s doing to help the environment while pursuing her passion for art here.
Sam sent us two vibrant frog prints as a gift when Kendall was born, and they now adorn his bathroom walls with matching primary colored towels and shower curtain. I love that they aren’t cartoonish but they don’t look like something out of a science book either. Kendall has mastered the baby sign for frog now and sticks his tongue out (which happens to be the actual baby sign for frog) every time they catch his eye. They are cheerful but not childish, making them great pieces of art to last for years to come.
The winner of this week’s Memos From Mommy will win an 8×10 print of their choice from Sam’s gallery. Check it out, and you’ll see there’s a lot more than just frogs to choose from. Enter your memo in the comments section below. Get creative. Remember, it doesn’t necessarily have to be to your human baby, mmmkay? The winner will be selected next Monday by Random.org and notified via email. Good luck!
Dear Kendall,
I just want you to know, in case the day never comes again, that at some point in your early life major news networks reported things like actual news and not the latest location of Michael Jackson’s lifeless body.
Love,
Mommy who is pretty happy to not work in a newsroom right now
Kendall is 14 months old and the King of Pop is dead
***Entries are closed, the winner is comment #4 (as drawn by Random.org). Congrats Sarah!***
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32 comments
Dear Eleanor,
The Hooter Hider is not going to hurt you. Please stop fighting with Mommy every time we try to use it. We have to figure out how to use this before our airplane ride next week. Seriously. I promise I’ll buy you a toy if you start cooperating with Mommy ok?
I love you!
Mommy
Dear Darling Cadie,
I understand that you were very sad I left you at your “grandma’s” for a few days. Mommy and Daddy needed some vacation time. You are a dog, you can not go everywhere with me like you think you can. I have now been back with you for almost a week, you are allowed to remove your self from up my behind now.
Love,
Mom
Dear W,
The cat’s tail is not a chew toy. I know she’s a glutton for punishment who keeps getting close to you, but that doesn’t mean you HAVE to munch on her tail. She doesn’t like that much, so if you could stop, I think everyone in the house – furry or not – would be much happier.
Love,
Mommy
Dear Stray cat outside,
Please, please, please stop fighting with the other outdoor cats and getting beat up. Furthermore please start eating the food I am leaving out for you. If you could please just cooperate once and let me trap you I could bring you to work and get you taken care of. I promise you could have a better life than what you have right now — have you noticed my spoiled rotten ladies staring at you in the window?? I promise to keep up until you decide to let me help you, but please know that summer will be over soon and I’d hate to think of you out in that cold!
Thank you!
The Homeowner with the Farmer’s porch
Dear G,
With two more days before your 1st birthday I am spending every waking moment thinking about the year behind us and your life ahead of us. I’m so proud of all that you have accomplished and who you have become. I love you lots!
Mamma
Dear Husband:
You are a great Dad but please don’t tell our 2 year old that Mommy will take him to the car wash again today. You get to leave for work early and I am the one to tell him he isn’t going to the car wash but the sitter’s house. This is not a good way to start the day.
Thanks!
Love you!
Dear Bubba:
Oh My God. I am so sorry you fell off the bed. I woke up and all I heard was *plump* and there you were. I will make it up to you. I promise.
love
mom of the year
Dear Milo and Eve,
Mommy is having a hard time when both of you are whiney at the same time. Milo when mommy puts you by your sister so you can whine at each other it is not your invitation to lose head control and headbutt her because that results in total hysterics from both of you.
Love,
Mommy
Dearly Beloved Spouse,
You knew I had a massive headache, and that Captain CrabbyPants was in full force with Andrew’s teething. And yet? You “accidently” stayed late at work. I call bullshit, good sir.
Hugs and Cuddles,
Your wife who’s eyeing the wine cube at 9:31 a.m.
Hahahaha and there was a time they were unbiased as well. 🙂
Dear Maggie (the dog),
Wow. I couldn’t be more proud of you this week. Not only did you learn a new trick (squeaking the toy when I make the sound the toy makes – I know, and I could be teaching you how to do something admirable, like help disabled people, but no, I wanted you to squeak the toy on command), but you threw up on the carpet right AFTER I went to work, meaning that Jack had to clean it up. Now I know what Jill was so excited about when Kendall saved the poo for his dad.
Thanks for that little ray of sunshine,
“Mommy”
Dearest K,
I don’t know what you are doing in there but mommy’s kidneys, liver, and other vital organs are NOT punching bags. Please cease and desist immediately or I will find a way to punish you when you are an outside baby. You know, mommy didn’t have her own car til she went to college. I can make arrangements for that to happen for you as well.
Thank you kindly,
Mommy
Dear D,
Thank you for sleeping through the night last night! Mommy and Daddy really appreciate it! Let’s keep it up!
Love,
Mommy
Dear Joshua,
Naps will not kill you. In fact, taking them may actually prolong your life AND help mommy not lose her hair (and really, your mom won’t look good bald!). There will come a point in your life where you will long for the days when you could take naps at your leisure. Believe me. I know.
Naps are your friend.
Love,
Mama
Sweat Pea,
Thank you for reminding me each and every day what a gift you are. Just as I seem to be losing it you bring me back to reality with a smile, new word or discovery.
Love,
Mommy
Dear Big Sister,
Just because I walk past you does not mean that you MUST scream and cry until I pick you up. Sometimes when I walk past you it only means that you are between me and whatever it is I need to do. I love you but you really can just continue playing when I walk past.
Love,
Mommy
Dear Vincent,
Mommy is SO proud of you for staying dry for 8 nights in a row! You have been potty trained for a year, but bed-wetting is another story and the amount of dirty laundry you were generating was unreal. Keep it up, I am thrilled!
Love, Mommy
Dear Pookie,
Now, I know you don’t like your green veggies, but is it really necessary to scream in octaves I have never heard of before when mama tries to feed them to you? Let’s try to tone it down a bit, shall we? At least eat your cereal. I promise I won’t add any green veggies to it this time. Food is your friend! I know you’d prefer it, but you can’t live on just Puffs and mama’s milk!
Love, Mama
Dear baby,
Keep going, you WILL get your knee forward to crawl instead of bellyflopping, I promise.
ps stay away from the tv.
love,
mom
Dear teeth,
Please feel free to pop through any time! I can see four of you little suckers just bulging at the gums causing discomfort to my little sweetheart.
Love, the little sweethearts momma
Dear Sweetie,
I am loving spending my summer with you. I really wish that we could do this all the time. You are an awesome boy and I am thrilled to be able to watch you change every single day. The days that you wake up at 8 are a real favorite of mine.
Love, Mommy
Dear Ezra’s teeth,
Please just come out! He seems miserable and is making meiserable. Oh, and sidenote, Matthias, if you could stop waking Ezra up righ after he finally goes to sleep, mommy would appreciate that, mmmkay? Thanks,
Mommy
Dear Adelynn,
I promise that you will figure out how to crawl soon! Although I will miss the adorable army crawl. Also, I’m sorry for laughing when you belly flop on the floor…but your face is pretty priceless!
Love, Mommy
Dear K-
I’m sorry I left you with grandma last night and she didn’t watch you close enough. I’m sure you’re finger isn’t as bad as she said and you didn’t really cry for as long as she said. (At least that is my hope). I promise to give you lots of hugs and kisses when I get home from work.
Love
Mama
Dear beloved husband –
When you ask me to make an important phone call, and tell me you’ll watch the mouse while I make it, I do, in fact actually EXPECT you to watch said mouse and hold up your end of the bargain. Letting him run amuck in the living room (while screaming, mind you) while you watch baseball on TV is not actually helping any.
Giving me attitude when I again ask you to take care of your son is even LESS than ‘not helpful’ as well. Pick him up, give him a snack, help him play with his blocks … do SOMETHING so I can hear the random woman on the other end of the phone … regardless of whether or not she’s trying to sell me cable for twice what we’re already paying.
Thank you for your immediate attention to said bull-crockery.
Your loving wife
Michael –
I can’t believe that next week, you will be ONE YEAR OLD! This year has absolutely flown by, but at the same time, I can’t remember what life was like without you!
Wishing you a very happy birthday – we love you so much!
Love,
Mommy
Dearest Sheri-
Please stop trying to use mealtimes to dabble in the fine art of face painting with baby food. Also, Sasha enjoys all the tidbits you drop for her to gobble up, but she would appreciate more discretion in the landing of your bottle on her head.
Love, Mommy
I know I can’t win cause I’m Canadian and all but I will just put my memo in for fun anyways.
Dear Ben,
I have caught you french kissing with the dog multiple times. Please stop having tongue to tongue connections with Maggie the dog. I know you think it is fun but I think it is gross.
Love,
Mama
Dear A,
Please refrain from throwing EVERYTHING you get your hands on while I’m driving, or while we are shopping, and especially while we are at the fancy restaurant. Mommy doesn’t appreciate getting dirty looks from strangers who have been hit by sippy cups launched from the shopping cart and that waiter last night wasn’t giggly about the black beans you hurtled onto the carpet. Although your throw is impressive, it’s really not as funny as you think it is.
Love,
Mommy
Dear Husband,
Next time you decide to make a life altering decision ask me first. I do not like where this one is going… I love you but I am now stressed beyond my eyeballs and am having trouble focusing on which way is up.
Love you regardless,
Me
Dear Milo –
I bet that teething biscuit wouldbe more effectiveif you put it in your mouth, instead of just banging it on your highchair.
Love,
Mommy
Dear Son,
This is to inform you that your nights of co-sleeping are about to come to an end. We had 11 months of peaceful rest in the family bed, but the past two weeks have become increasingly difficult for Daddy and me, with your newfound mobility and sleeping positions. Coupled with the facts that you are nearly one year old, and that you are not going to sleep lately like a good boy as you always have, we have decided that it is officially time for you to start sleeping in your crib. This commences Friday night; I hope you are prepared, because Mommy most definitely is.
All my love,
Mommy
Dear Robert,
I am so happy that you like your new booster seat at the dining room table. You are growing up so fast! If only you would start eating off of your plate instead of dumping it on the table, then wiping it all onto the floor in 1 fell swoop.
Love,
Mommy