Two Fridays ago I flew out from DFW to St. Louis with Kendall in tow. Man… to say I was stressed about it… understatement of the year. I thought for sure so much would go wrong that I would have tons of material for a hilarious blog post on the trials and tribulations of air travel with a toddler. Fortunately for my sanity, but unfortunately for my muse, the flight was surprisingly pretty smooth. I mean, I *did* have to hog tie him during the descent so he wouldn’t abuse other passengers whilst flailing about and it *was* an incredible workout hauling him in my Ergo and two full diaperbags through the airport, but really, it was all pretty mundane.
Looking back at our trip, searching for something to blog about, the image of another mom flashed through my head, a mom who was in front of us, a mom who was super nice, but who was wearing the most tragic outfit ever. I was reminded that I told myself at the time that I HAD to blog about said outfit.
Okay, so she was wearing pleated khaki shorts, belted, pulled up past her belly button and safely housing her entire belly, of course. Tucked into these shorts was a crisp t-shirt with a picture of cartoon cats wearing headphones on it. I’m thinking there was some sort of “cool cat” caption to go with it.
Listen, I’m not saying I’m a mommy fashionista. at. all. I have committed my fair share of fashion crimes. I just want to know this- At what point in mommyhood does a pair of pants pulled all the way up to your boobs begin to sound appealing? Because, honestly, I think I might be headed down that direction. I put on my low rise jeans yesterday and noticed the muffin top looked a little less extra fluffy if I just pulled them up a tiny bit, but this left me with highwaters and cameltoe, so I opted for an entirely different pair of jeans instead.
And at what milestone in your child’s life do you choose to pair those super comfy shorts with a shirt with cartoon cats on it? Is this inevitable? Does the fact that after my long run this weekend I chose to hang out in a shirt that says “SPIRIT” on it that I won in a Cheerleading contest when I was 14 mean I will suffer the same fate?
I’m thinking/hoping it was the only shirt clean, that maybe she had something a little less… preteen-esque picked out, but had to switch to the cartoon cats when the tube of sunscreen exploded all over her while she was trying to zip the luggage shut, and since all her other non cartoon character shirts were packed she had to reach WAY back in the closet and pull out that beauty, obviously given to her in a white elephant Christmas exchange. Right….right??
Or is this one of those never say never things, and I will one day be sporting an LOL cat shirt in an airport with the entirety of my belly tucked securely away, so as not to leap out of my pants and accost passersby, under a belted pair of khaki shorts just because that’s what happens when you become a mom?
Kendall is almost 15 months old
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15 comments
Too funny! I can’t imagine myself in that particular outfit, but I HAVE given up low rise jeans entirely – maybe that’s the first step?
Don’t do it! Don’t give up on low rise jeans or cute outfits. NO BOOB PANTS! Don’t be one of those Mom ladies! Moms can be cute too 🙂
I’ve given up on the low-waisted pants as well – I prefer not to have the beer gut look with a little plumber crack! Why the heck do they make them for big girls anyways?? come on – who in their right mind has a “low waist” in a size 18+ (in case your skinny self hasn’t seen, but Silver brand now carries “woman’s” sizing)…ugh
I figure at least they’re not pleated or tapered!
Oh thank god, I’m not the only one that hangs around in old high school t-shirts. It may not be such a good thing when I go to the grocery with this one on, though: “Squaws, District Champs, 1999”. People can guess how old I am, and how long ago high school was. Ew. I can see my future children cringing already.
I love this posting!! Love it! I hope to never be this woman – but after trying on some pre baby jeans the other day I was definitely sporting the camel toe as well. Yikes!! I didn’t wear them out though. 🙂
Dude, who wears real jeans? I’m still rocking my super comfy ‘secret fit belly’ maternity jeans. You see, they call them ‘secret fit’ because you can wear them after you pop your kid out and its A SECRET! No cameltoe! No muffin top! They *do* go to your belly button, but its A SECRET!!
Don’t tell anyone, k?
Bahahaha!! I love this post. I too, wonder about the inevitability of “mom clothes.” At what point do you just give up and buy the cat shirt? What point is that? There needs to be a babysitter mommy-gets-a-break time before that point!
Wow Molly, your pleasant.
I have often pondered the inevitability of “Mom clothes” in my own wardrobe and have decided that as long as I never have “Mom butt” (that is, the totally flat, comPLETEly nonexistent butt that many-a-mom’s sport these days) I’ll be okay with my attire. However, I’ve also resorted to buying my pants a size bigger in order to tuck my muffin top away–and *gasp* they’re LOW WAIST and a size 16!
Maybe she was visiting her Mother-In-Law who gives her bad t-shirts for Christmas?
I have a whole stack of clothes that only see the light of day when mine is around.
hahahaha !!! I’m picturing the outfit and I seriously almost see how it can happen to the best of us. I’m still trying though. I’ve invested in LOTS of shirts that are very long so I don’t have to totally give up all my low rise jeans…however we’ll see how things are after I pop out baby # 2
MID rise jeans are 1 inch taller, so not too high. Boot cut or wide leg jeans, will balance you out.. Twice a year purge and give to charity. Right now, it’s halfway between spring and fall, you can easily get rid of every unwanted item. Then go and buy some ‘staples’ during BTSchool sales. A brightly colored t-shirt that looks good with jeans, cords, or khakis, for example. A white button up, or a pretty jacket you can throw on anytime. If bad gifts come again, return it…’it didn’t hang right’ should be a good enough response, if asked.
Last night I slept in a cheerleading t-shirt…from 1995…just sayin’. LOL. I’m joining you on the potential train to ‘mom clothes’. Let’s just hope I’m at least on the caboose.
[…] Unlike my last flight with Kendall, this one was actually terrible. Granted, it was longer, and he’s stronger, but it also seemed like a much more hostile, tense environment. Very judgy. I was edgy from the moment we walked on after we were greeted by a chorus of sighs and groans and eye rolls when they saw my HAPPY child come aboard. We didn’t opt to buy the extra seat for him because, well, we’re cheap like that (even though I did struggle with the safety issue of it). And, honestly, I think the only person who would have benefited from the extra seat would have been Scott because it just would have meant that his lap would have been freed up, not that the noise Kendall was making would have stopped. In fact, had we brought his car seat on board for that extra seat and strapped him in, I’m pretty sure it would have been worse. […]
[…] Is this just a sign that I’m getting old? Am I physically incapable of seeing clothes for what they are now and officially stuck in my comfortable, plain rut? Is this the first sign that I’m thisclose to giving up and turning into the cat shirt lady?? […]