Memos From Mommy, Sponsored by Pangea Organics

I can’t lie. This blogging gig ain’t bad, especially when companies like Pangea Organics send me a Radiance Gift Set to try out and then agrees to give one away to a very lucky reader to enjoy. This stuff is niiiiiiice!  I’ve been using the facial cleanser, lip balm and eye cream every day for 6 days now, and I’ve used the scrub and mask twice. It smells lovely, it feels lovely, it leaves my face looking lovely.  It’s just lovely, really.  It’s like treating myself to my own little at home spa, which is something that is so rare around here, but I’m digging it. I need to do stuff like this for myself more often. Twice in the last week I’ve set aside 20 minutes during Kendall’s nap time to devote to a little beauty therapy. I do the whole routine- cleanser, scrub, mask, moisturize. It is so refreshing and my face feels so soft afterward. 

Now, all that “lovely” stuff is great, but what’s even better is that Pangea Organics is a company with the planet in mind, too.

Pangea Organics was born out of the desire to do right by the planet, and is continually looking for more ways to live up to that dream and let you in on the fun, too.  Hence the idea behind the new Radiance Gift Sets.  Just when you think you’ve received a lovely box of organic skincare products — surprise!  You’ve also been given the gift of giving back to the earth by way of a spruce tree.  Inside the fibers of the Radiance gift boxes, there’s a Spruce Tree just waiting to be planted. 

 Americans emit, on average, five (5) tons of carbon per year per person?  While a single tree will absorb only one (1) ton of carbon dioxide in its lifetime. If everyone plants their gift box this year, there will collectively be 2,500 trees planted – that’s equivalent to NOT driving roughly 615,000 miles in one year!  The average lifespan of a spruce tree is 75 years, that’s an energy savings of approximately 46 million miles.  What a difference you can make in your very own backyard! 

 The gift boxes are 100% compostable, biodegradable, plantable and made from a Zero-Waste process using 100% post-consumer newsprint, without glues and dyes. The outer labels are made of uncoated Monadnock’s Astrolite PC 100 paper (100% post-consumer, FSC-certified, elemental chlorine free, and printed with vegetable based inks). 

 What we choose to consume today, directly impacts how we – and future generations – will live tomorrow.  With that in mind, 5% of net profits will go towards helping build the Pangea Institute, an emerging non-profit organization dedicated to researching and teaching all aspects of sustainable living and business practices.  Choosing to buy Pangea Organics means you, too, are positively impacting the future.  


To enter to win your very own Radiance Gift Set by Pangea Organics, just submit your own Memo to your child/fetus/pet/pet rock/favorite nose hair in the comments section below. One will be randomly chosen by next Monday (only open to US residents this time, sorry other countries!).  If you aren’t lucky enough to win, you are still lucky enough to get a really great deal. This set, valued at $167, is only $100 with free shipping right now.  I know that’s a hefty chunk of change these days, but these are full size products you’re getting.  So if you’re in the market for these things, or even just in the market for a nice self indulgence or a great gift, this is a good value.  You can also buy the products individually.  I LOVE the scrub and the mask.

Memo time!

Dear Kendall,

What language are you speaking? What planet were you sent from? Where is your translator? “Duhb, cuck nab NAB gaaa GOG” means nothing to me. I’m so sorry you are frustrated with my lack of comprehension.  Perhaps I could find the meaning in the Baby Babble to English dictionary that surely shot out of my vagina, along with the parenting manual, but I have been looking for those things for nearly 14 months now, and, well, I’m afraid they got tossed out with the placenta. Please bear with me as I struggle to learn just what the hell you are saying.

Love always,

Mommy… say it with me, maahhhmmMEEE

Kendall is approaching 14 months old


****Entries are closed and according to the winner is comment #2.  Congrats Michelle!!! Hope you get those solid poops you’re requesting :)********


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  1. Dear Monkey – I understand that it is fun to punch my ovaries at the same time as kicking my ribs. This must be your way of saying “Mom, please please please eat some icecream”.

  2. Dear E,

    Please do something crazy enough so I can write a memo about it and freakin’ win something for once! Mommy has the worst luck and would reaalllllyy like a winning boost! Thanks!

    Your loving loser mom :0)

  3. Dear D,

    You are my precious angel baby and I love you very much. Please start sleeping through the night. You are 1 yr old and I think it’s time.

    Your loving Mommy

  4. Dear Bo,
    You have got a big day coming up! On Saturday, you are going to be the ring bearer in your Aunt Jesse’s (outdoor) wedding! Now I know, it’s going to be 95 degrees out with 110% humidity, but if you could just keep it cool and together as you get pulled down the aisle in your wagon, Mommy would sure appreciate it. As soon as you do your part in the wedding, Granma will be there to get you changed into something more cooler and comfortable.


  5. Dear Ben,

    Your Dad and I were hoping you could be that baby who sleeps through the night. However, we decided that we will take five hours in a row without hearing from you at night. If that isn’t too much to ask.

    Lots of love,

    your mother

  6. Dear rotten baby kitties,

    If you could get all the crazy out during the day and take naps between 3am and 8am, Papa and I would greatly appreciate it. Also, we might be persuaded to give you more snacks and belly scratches if we aren’t so sleep-deprived.


  7. Dear Brock,

    You are not 2. You are 14 months. If you could hold off on the terrible two’s for a little while longer. Screaming at me because you cannot climb high enough, or open daddy’s glasses case is getting old. Also, every time I tell you “no” doesn’t warrant you falling on the floor in hysterical sobs. Life will go on. I promise.

    I love you!

  8. Dear Aidan (my still inside baby),
    Please note that my bladder should not serve as a toy for you. I have plenty of toys for you when you arrive. Do you have an estimated time of arrival? Please make it sooner rather than later.

  9. Dear Deer Eating our Garden,
    Hi, it’s the human who spent MANY, MANY hours planting the garden that you have demolished…twice. Does the fence not deter you? Not even a little? Please, for the love of God, if I do decide to replant again, PLEASE stop eating my vegetables. Respect the fence…or I guess I have to learn to love venison. yuck.

  10. Dear Kian,
    You know that mummy loves you very much, she will always love you no matter what and she will never leave you, so please let her pee in peace. The screaming when I leave the room is becoming too much…I just want to pee.

    Love mummy

  11. Dear Andrew,

    I don’t know wtf happened today, and why you wouldn’t sleep, but it sucked. Please cease and desist immediately.


  12. Dear Little S-
    In case the whole wrestling with you for an HOUR to get you to sleep tonight after a day of almost no naps wasn’t enough, I wanted to tell you how much I really appreciate that your cute little runny nose is quickly turning into a Class 7 cold for your mommy. She LOVES having her eyeballs sear, her throat coated in wool, and every muscle and limb ache too.
    You’re right, compared to childbirth, I shouldn’t complain.
    And hey, if you could wake up EXTRA early tomorrow too, that would be extra special.

  13. Dear Zoe (dog),

    Please stop getting random things in your eye. It breaks my heart to see your irritated eye and it breaks my wallet at about $60 per vet visit to get it inspected and get more eye drops.

    Also, if you could see fit to leave the cats alone for just one day, I’m sure they would appreciate it.


  14. Dear Jake,

    It is not cool to fight and scream to mommy when I lay you down for a nap when you spent the previous minutes before rubbing your eyes and flinging your head to the floor in tiredness. Give.In.To.The.Sleep

    Love Mommy

  15. Dearest James,

    Pinching and biting are not funny, no matter what you think. Either one will earn you a fast trip to timeout, so I’d appreciate it if you would cease and desist in your attempts to give me purple spots on my arms.

    Love you oodles!

  16. Dear Sebastian,

    I’m really glad that you are getting more mobile and trying to crawl, but getting stuck on chairs and trying to chew electrical cords is not going to work. Keep it up and you will be in one of those big plastic pens that look like it belongs near a dog kennel.


  17. Dear Aaron,

    I am so proud of you for learning how to crawl. What a big boy! But I must insist that you stop using your new found skillz for evil purposes. Isn’t it enough to just crawl towards the gazillion toys I have spread across your playroom? Must you always head towards the dirty shoes or the electrical outlets?

    Please understand that this is a relatively new development for me, after nine months of your immobility. Could you just give me a few more weeks to adjust before you kill yourself on something I’ve left within your now expanding reach? I’d appreciate it ever so much.


  18. Dear Bubbalou:

    In a couple of weeks, daddy has to leave to start his new job in NYC..and since the house hasn’t sold, it will be just you and me kiddo. I want you to know that even though it will be tough, and I might lose my patience and a little sanity sometimes, we’ll get through it..and you me and Daddy will be back together before you know it.

    love always

  19. Dear Bentley (dog),

    Please stop getting the baskets off the shelf in the kitchen. You have more than enough toys to carry around the house in the 3-4 hours between when mommy leaves for work and daddy comes home. There is nothing exciting in the baskets except for bags to pick up your poop. Trust me. Oh, and your food bowl? You can leave that in the kitchen too. You are a dog, you do not need to sit in front of the TV to eat your food.

    Thank you kindly in advance for your attention in this matter.


  20. Dearest baby-in-my-belly,

    I can’t take 6 more weeks of this heartburn and insomnia. I’m willing to cut you some kind of a deal. Just name your price.

    Excited to meet you but starting to hate you a little bit,

  21. Dear Sweet Baby,
    Could we please figure out this sleeping thing. You used to go to bed right on time without a fit. Now, it is such a struggle. Mommy is getting very tired and frustrated. She needs some time for herself at night. Love you baby bug!


  22. Dear Eleanor,

    The best part of my day is when I hear you start to stir, and I look in your cradle and see your smiling little face. Please don’t ever grow up. I want you to stay little forever!



  23. Dear darling sweet baby Joshua,

    Please give us back the five hour sleep stretch. Every two hours all night long is not cutting it for Mommy. While you’ve begun taking naps during the day, and we do really appreciate these naps, it’d be great if we could get some more shut-eye at night like normal people do. Sleeping through the night is cool. You can trust me. Twenty-some-odd years of sleeping through the night has taught me just how cool it is.

    Also, while we’re at it, please don’t have a poop-splosion today while Daddy is at work that causes me to want to take you outside and hose you down. If you want to have a poop-splosion, save it for when Diaper Man gets home.



  24. Dear Nate,

    I know you can’t talk yet and I understand you want to communicate with me but biting me when you want something, while effective, is also painful. You take ‘ankle biter’ to a whole new level, little man.

    your teeth shaped bruised mama

  25. J,
    I’m so happy that you got your daddy’s eyelashes and cheeks and beautiful hair…but isn’t there any of me in there? Show yourself!

  26. Dear Booger,

    The snotsucker thing will not kill you. I’m not trying to torture you, I just thought you might want to breathe for once. Please stop screaming bloody murder whenever you see it. Thank you.

    Love, Mom

  27. Dear Unborn Munchkin,

    I realize my bladder is your next door neighbor, but Mama needs her sleep! Please refrain from jumping on it every night at 3 AM.

    Your Mama

  28. Dear JuJuBean,

    After the many months of infant potty training you are a pro! Congratulations and thanks for helping not seem like a crazy British woman to my mother and sisters. But I’ve been wondering. If you’re such a pro at this going-in-the-potty business, then why the heck did you pee on the counter yesterday while we were all enjoying some grapes? Not cool.

    I forgive, don’t worry. Keep trying!

    Love, Mummie

  29. Dear Rocket dog,

    Please quit pulling the laundry out of the hamper and spreading it all around. I really need to wash and it only makes me angry to go searching for it all. You have a pillow, a blanket, the couchs and often my bed, do you really need the laundry as well?

    Your pregnant momma who doesn’t want to take her hormones out on you.

  30. Dear Clara,
    Please stop pressing the weenie dog’s foot and ears. No matter how much you press them, he will not sing “I Want Candy” like the bunny you got for Easter nor will he neigh like your pony. Thanks.

  31. My Sweet Pea,

    Although I am a true morning person, I would much appreciate it if you returned to the days of waking up at 6am as opposed to 5am. That extra hour of sleep really does make mommy happy.



  32. Dear Baby in My Belly,

    After only taking two bites and then darting to the nearest bathroom, I get that you don’t like toast. But cinnamon toaster strudels? Come on, how can you not like the cream cheese icing? It would be great if you would let me eat something I at least enjoy eating. Thanks.


  33. My Dear Little Boy:
    I know you want to help me with everything but you cannot get the full gallon of milk out by yourself. If you give me a second I will fill your sippy cup and we won’t have a gallon of milk on the floor. I know it is hard to wait at two years old but I just need 30 seconds.

  34. Dear Jasper,
    I really love you for your individuality and I understand you are not like other kids, but if you could just please, PLEASE take a cue from every other baby in the universe and fall asleep in the car I’d be much obliged. The daily ride to daycare and back with you screaming in the backseat is really getting to me. It’s been 10 months.. haven’t you learned yet that you just have to sit still?? No one is coming to rescue you from the carseat until we get home.
    Thank you,
    Your Mommy,

  35. Sarah Brennan on

    Dear Cookie Monster,
    I understand that all it has done for the past two weeks in Massachusetts is rain. I also understand that the grass is wet. However, despite these facts you ARE in fact a boxer and acting like a delicate flower and refusing to step into the grass to go to the bathroom is getting a little old. As much as I love standing in the wet grass with the rain pouring down on my head for 15 minutes 2-3 times per day waiting for you to FINALLY go to the bathroom I would appreciate if you would stop. If you will just go and get it over with we could be back in the house in a minute or less. Thank you for your attention to this matter and please take under advisement that I did not in fact banish the sun and mummy wants it to come back just as much as you!
    Your mom

  36. Dear Miss Emma Claire Bear,

    Mommy and Daddy are so happy that you are sleeping through the night, but could we maybe push our luck and ask that you sleep in a little bit later than 5:30am?

    Love, Momma

  37. Dear Milo and Eve,

    I understand that we all have moments where we need a little extra mommy attention, but if you could both not need those moments at the exact same time it would be awesome. Even better would be to not desperately need me in the 5 minutes I decide to eat lunch, brush my teeth, or run to the restroom.


  38. Dear Robert,
    Please share toys when you are at school. It is not acceptable to bite the other children. Mommy is a little embarrassed when school calls to tell her you bit another child while she is at work. I know you are teething, but please, no more biting.


  39. Dear W,

    Puking is not that funny. Especially not when you do it in the store. And in Mommy’s hair. Please keep that in mind for future reference.



  40. Dear Ian,

    I was so pleased that you finally decided to say ‘mama’ in a fairly appropriate way. I don’t know if it makes up for saying dada for the first time on Mother’s day, but it does help me cope with that searing memory.


    Mama ma ma ma ma MA!

  41. Dear Beaner,
    I know it is hard to fall asleep without your “fire” (pacifier). I also know that those pacifier manufacturers put crack in those things so all you lil kids become pacifier addicts. Sadly, the time has come to part ways and if you could get through this withdrawl as soonas possible, I would appreciate it.

  42. My Sweet Girl,

    When did you get big enough to feed yourself with a spoon. I am super proud of you, but I would be ok if you slowed down the growing up stuff just a bit.


  43. Dearest Muffin,

    You are NOT a monkey, I repeat NOT a monkey. The gate was put up to prevent you from getting into the kitchen, not as part of an obstacle that you need to climb. You are only 8 months old and should not be climbing on the gate and shaking it violently enough for it to nearly break! Chill out a little 🙂


  44. Dear Elizabeth,

    I LOVE spending time with you, my precious baby, and I know you love spending time with me too. However, this time spent together does not need to be in the middle of the night. We can have LOADS of quality time together during the day. And I’m much more fun during the day anyway, I promise.

    I love you!

  45. Dear yet unborn baby Evelyn,
    I’ve enjoyed almost every minute of this pregnancy, and will happily continue to do so as long as you wish to stay in there, but please know that the doctors will likely wish to extract you sooner rather than later because mommy has a disease called Diabetes. If you would rather do things the “easy” way, then please plan to make your appearance sometime around 39-40 weeks gestation. I so look forward to meeting you, and love you very much already!


    Your mommy & daddy

  46. Dear Nate,

    Mommy has 2 events this weekend. One is tonight and the other is tomorrow night. I really want to attend both. Can you please be an angel for daddy tonight so that we both feel good about me going out tomorrow night too? If you’re an angel tonight, you can behave however you want tomorrow night. That would be awesome.

    Love you,


  47. Dearest Emma-Lou-Magoo,

    I am so proud that you have learned to crawl and cruise, but you HAVE to give mommy a break once in awhile. Normally I can recharge during your naps, but today you skipped them…BOTH! I nearly passed out from sheer exhaustion at 7pm while you were going strong. I would appreciate at least one nap per day.

    Thank you mucho!


  48. Dear Austin,

    You are my sweet angel and I love you so much. However, I can assure you, I am not the only one that feels this way about you. Daddy is quite taken with you too. It really hurts his feelings when you scream every time he tries to give mommy a break, err I mean love on/hold you. So just humor him. I know you think I’m the ish, and I know you know he doesn’t have magic boobies, but a lil quality time with Daddy will go a long way.


  49. Dear Jack,

    I know you were sick for a few days, but I’m beginning to get concerned that you haven’t pooped a real poop in nearly a week. Could you please try a little? I promise to call the doctor tomorrow if nothing happens between now and then. I’m starting to get concerned.

    I love you!

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