First, allow me to apologize for ignoring you this last year. A vacuum with no work to do must be a sad vacuum, and I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you. The truth is that there was plenty of work to be done, but I was too pregnant, tired, lazy, exhausted or otherwise indisposed to use you as often as I probably should have. Yes, we had our occasional fling, but from this moment on I am promoting you back from part time household appliance to full time appliance!
It seems, Vacuum, that this baby of mine has decided to start to move about. He is no longer the baby that would stay where I put him. I am afraid he proved this to me today when he log rolled from the center of his blanket all the way over to the entertainment center before I could fill a glass of water in the kitchen. In fact, I will be sending a letter to the entertainment center following this, detailing our baby-proofing plan of action, which will have to take effect immediately.
And, nothing magnifies just how much I have been neglecting you, vacuum, as my baby rolling around on the floor, especially when this new mobile phase is accompanied by the oral exploratory phase where he must put everything in his mouth or put his mouth on everything. I actually caught him, face down, sucking on the carpet just the other day.
As you know, we have a tough job ahead of us. The two large dogs and cat will challenge us everyday, but together we can achieve a semblance of cleanliness. I am sure that we will be great partners, and we can be proud of ourselves every night knowing that we prevented that dust bunny, and those flecks of lint and dirt, and, most importantly, the tumbleweeds of dog hair from ending up in my baby’s digestive tract.
So, what do you say? Are you with me? I am excited and enthused and promise to keep this level of passion for a clean floor until I come back to reality and realize that I most likely will find other things to do with the 15 minutes a day it takes to vacuum, like chase after a toddler. But until then, you and me buddy…. yes we can!
Overly optimistic, bordering unrealistic mom who just needs to deal with the fact that her kid is going to eat some dog hair
Kendall is 6 months and 4 days old (and so damn near close to crawling)