The good crap and the bad crap

Babies need lots of crap. That’s really a large reason why we had to get a bigger place. I mean, I guess you could go all minimalist and not get the bouncer AND the swing AND the playmat, but I challenge you to find something to keep that kid occupied while you get dressed, brush your teeth, and maybe do a load of dishes, because if your baby is anything like mine, he has a very short attention span and will not be happy in just one piece of baby crapola for long. It’s all about the rotation – 15 minutes on playmat while I brush my teeth and make Hailey breakfast – change diaper, nurse – 15 minutes in bouncer while I get dressed and feed dogs – hold baby and carry on babble conversation of nothing but oohs and aahs while delighting in the fact that he is SO close to giggling (even though he will probably be laughing at me making a complete fool of myself) – then into the supercalifanfreakingfuckingtastic Moby Wrap for as long as my back can stand it while I get makeup on (Kendall loves staring at the mirror while I do this) and do some light housework. I still need to put the swing back together, but I fully intend to add this to the rotation soon.

Anyway, the whole point of this post of for me to tell you what crap has been good for us and what crap has been a waste of $$ (at least so far).

Moby Wrap – discussed in previous post – LOVE IT!! I can’t get anything done without this thing, including, many days, peeing. When Kendall was really small I would put him in facing my chest, all curled up in a little ball. He would nap in it for hours, and I solely credit it for making my flights back and forth from DC to Texas almost enjoyable with a one month old. Now that he’s bigger (and at 14 lbs at 10 weeks, he really is getting big) he can face forward, which he loves. It’s also great for babies who, like Kendall, need to be jiggled or bounced to calm down. It really saves your arms. I can pop him in there and bounce up and down, or better yet, sit on my yoga ball and bounce. And, as I mentioned before, this is now our main form of transportation. If I could wear this thing while driving….

Bouncy Seat – The first few weeks of Kendall’s life I thought this thing was a waste until we realized we just weren’t using it the right way. See, just turning on the “Soothing Vibrations” wasn’t nearly soothing enough for him. I credit Scott for realizing that manually bouncing the chair up and down hard enough to get a good jiggle going on was what it took to turn this hunk of junk into our saving grace. We now use it every time we need to get Kendall to fall asleep. Some nights we keep it in between us in bed and take turns bouncing it and some nights I keep it in the pack and play next to the bed, only an arms reach away from a good bounce.

Hooter Hider- I can breastfeed the monster on demand (and trust me, that is very often) whenever we are out without fearing I am flashing anyone or worrying about my rowdy boy ripping a blanket off of me.  I’ve nursed with it on the airplane (try being discreet in that close of quarters!) in many a restaurant and while carrying on a conversation with my grandfather. Nuff said.

Miracle Blanket – SO worth the $30+!  It is the ONLY blanket Kendall can’t bust out of from a swaddle.  Swaddling him is the only thing that gets him to fall asleep at night and KEEP him asleep.  Another bonus is it’s not made out of heavy and hot flannel.   That’s a huge plus in this Texas weather.  I was so desperate for one of these that when I found one at a local boutique I bought it immediately even though the only color they had in stock was PINK *gasp*!   Hey, pink, purple, glittery gold… I don’t care what color the thing is.  It works.  And he looks adorable in it with nothing but his big chubby head sticking out.   My sister was right on the money when she said he looks like a Glowworm in it.

Happiest Baby on the Block – Fabulous book, even better DVD (because what new parent has time to read a book?).  I only wish I would have read/watched it all BEFORE the baby came.  Remember how I went to the ER with Kendall early in the morning on Mother’s Day?  I came home with a scrip for baby Zantac for acid reflux that Kendall doesn’t even have.  If we had read about the 5 S’s before bringing Kendall home, I’m sure that trip could have been avoided.  In hindsight, it seems like his problem was that he was overtired and didn’t know how to put himself to sleep, and we, like the idiot new parents we were, thought if exhaustion was the problem he would have just passed out already.  If you are expecting or know anyone who is – get yourself or them this book or DVD.  Seriously.   (Oh, and since I just watched the DVD for the first time last week I was so happy to learn that Dr. Karp recommends JIGGLING to get a baby to go to sleep!  Yayayayayay!  We are not raising a freak!  All babies like to be jiggled!)

Cloth diapers – Yup.  Call us what you will… earth muffins, tree huggers, crazy hippies…. it’s all very funny to me that those are the images associated with cloth diapering when I really don’t think we are any of those things (not that they are bad!).  I can do a whole new entry on these alone, so I won’t go into too much detail other than to tell you that we have used cloth diapers since Kendall was about a week old and we love them.  They aren’t the old fashioned kind – no pins involved for us.  They are really easy to use and have saved us a ton of money.  We’ve had to use disposables while we traveled and I will say that I hate how often they blowout (meaning Kendall somehow gets shit on his shoulders after an explosive poop) and the bad rash they give Kendall.  The cloth diapers rarely ever give him a rash and are actually pretty easy to maintain.

Blow drier/ Vacuum/ White noise machine – When your kid is screaming their head off do yourself a favor and go turn on every loud appliance in your house.  If you are as lucky as me, it will send them into a trance- like state 75% of the time.  It’s a freakish phenomenon.

Now for the bad crap-

Baby sling for the bath – used it maybe twice when Kendall was really small.  Now he either gets in the shower with Scott or in the bath with me.  And now that we have a nice deep sink in the kitchen, I imagine he will get many a bath in there.

Baby robes – So cute.  So impractical.  If I’m going to fight with my kid to get him dressed after a bath, I’m going to do it once and just put him in his clothes the first time.

Diaper Champ – I think this would be good crap if we didn’t cloth diaper.  The cloth diapers are just too big to get through the hole without a struggle.  We are still using it, but I need to find an alternative.  I shouldn’t have to beat the crap out of the diaper receptacle 12 times a day.  I have other things I should be beating the crap out of (like the 10 BILLION flies that have taken up residence in our new home).

That damn infant seat!! – Okay, this is actually a split decision because when he was much younger and would pass out in it, it was great to be able to just take him out of the car in it and snap it into the stroller frame, but I thought that phase would last much longer than it has.  If I would have known that a) Kendall would detest the thing and scream every minute that he is in it by 8 weeks and that b) Kendall would be a beast and most likely outgrow the thing in 4 months (and that he’s already too freaking heavy to hold in it) I wouldn’t have spent all the money on it and would have opted to go straight into the big carseat.

Now, obviously we have a lot more crap than what is listed above, but those are what stick out in my mind as good or bad.  I’ll let you know if anything changes.

When I left the hospital, the only piece of baby crapola the nurses made sure I knew how to use was the snot sucker out thingy.  I can count on one hand the number of times I have used that thing. But the majority of baby crapola is a pain in the ass to figure out, and do we get any instruction on it?  No.  We have to wait until the baby is screaming at level 10 and we are cussing at the harness because we can’t manage to get piece A and piece B lined up with piece C while simultaneously pressing down on buttons D, E and F.  So take my advice and learn how to use all this crap before you have a screaming newborn to deal with.  And I mean really learn, like practice while holding a bag of flour in one hand… or a cat or something.  Good luck with all your crap.

10 weeks 3 days old

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  1. Believe me when winter comes, the snot sucker will be your savior. I also have a baby with a short attention span. He is a crawler now. He still has zero attention span but at least now he can crawl himself to a new toy. That’s a perk.

  2. Hi!
    This is a great post! I have been reading your blog for a while now (I think google had it featured) and I thoroughly enjoy it. I am TTC with PCOS and have been for 7 months now. I was pleased to find out that you CD–I was beginning to wonder the more I read about your family! Have you discovered ? I LOVE it! My SN is teachinauntie, if you ARE over there! I’m interested to hear which diapers your using, loving & hating!

  3. I have the Miracle Blanket and my 4 week old daughter flips out when I swaddle her arms down but I know her flailing arms are a reason she gets up screaming every hour. Does Kendall cry when you swaddle him in it?

  4. I’m probably going to refer back to this whenever we get to that point where we’re registering/buying baby stuff. Good info!

  5. Totally agree about the bath sling. My son, whose 9 weeks 4 days old, HATED bath time when we used that stupid sling. I think it gets them too cold by not letting them be in the water. Now that we don’t use it, he loves baths. Oh, and ditto too about the infant seat. My little guy is 13 lbs and the infant seat is so freaking heavy. I’ll probably have to get a convertible seat by 4 months too. 🙂

  6. thanks so much for mentioning the cloth diapers. i told my husband to get ready, we were going to do cloth, and he told me there’s no way I could handle it. thanks for reminding people they’ve changed and it is possible.

  7. To those wondering more about cloth diapers, I will try to write a new entry about them soon. Nicolle, Kendall used to cry when we swaddled him, but eventually he came to like it and now sometimes he will immediately calm down as soon as I just lay him on the blanket. Stick with the swaddling. Hopefully your baby will grow to like it!

  8. Great post! I also had a ‘super alert’ baby (who still IS super alert) and nothing entertained her for more than 10 minutes, max. I envied those moms who could plop baby contently in a swing and run in to take a shower with no problem.

    One tip for bathing in the sink: put a towel down for him to sit on, and drape it over the edge of the counter to keep you semi-dry. Our daughter is 14 months and STILL loves her sink baths, but only if the towel is there to keep her for slipping around and keep her bum from getting to hot or col (stainless steel sink).

    And, I also have to say kudos on the CDs! We’re also CD parents, and I love it!!! They’re cute, soft, chemical-free, and economical in the long term. And living in AZ we have the same issues with flies, but a simple Rubbermaid trash can with a flip-top lid was all we needed. There’s no smell when it’s closed, and whenever it’s time to do laundry, we just dump the dipes in the wash and leave the can in the laundry room or outside to air out. 🙂

  9. Just a tip for the flies! You can fill a ziploc bag with water and hang it up–like outside on your porch–and the flies will not come around it. It looks kind of crazy but I promise it works! Something about how it looks to the flies. We live in Florida and we know all about flies during summertime. Thanks for the baby crap tips!

  10. We went straight for the convertible car seat with our DD and never got a baby bath for her. She always bathed with me. This is an awesome thing. She is 3 and takes showers by herself (I am standing outside the tub). Bath time was so time consuming until we started having her just shower with us.

  11. Thanks for this. I added the moby wrap and the happiest baby on the block to my registry. I have friends who swore by the miracle blanket, so it’s already been purchased. Anyway, just had to say thanks! I’m keeping a list of “must haves” and “don’t needs” from the new mom’s on the nest. 🙂

  12. Former nestie! on

    Hey girl! You were one of my favorites on the nest and i just happened to come across your blog. I am at Moms Corner now ( and I LOVE it over there. I would love to see you around!

  13. i have been reading your blog for quite a while, and i love it! my husband and I will probably start TTC after October of this year, and your blog has given me so many good tips and great info! I am happy to hear that you love cloth diapering, because i am very interested in trying this as well, i eagerly await you cloth diaper post. and i want a moby wrap right now, even though i have no kid. you make it sound so amazing!

    my best friend had a baby about a year ago, and when he was really small, he lived in the bouncy seat, seriously, but i know that is the only thing that worked for her baby.

    i love your blog, thank you for your priceless advice, and thanks for your humor and honesty.

  14. You are a loon girl. Who actually says their kids pisses them off? You got issues. Please seek counseling so the kid doesn’t suffer any longer.

    This is in response to you craziness on the nest. Poor kid.

  15. Well, “Me”, if honesty and frustration are my issues, you bet your ass I got ’em. Thanks for the advice though. If I seek counseling, I’ll be sure to look over in your neck of the woods. I hear Puppies and Rainbows- ville has some great therapists.

  16. Great post! I can’t wait to read your follow-up on cloth diapers. And thanks for all the honesty and keeping it real. Your blog is preparing me for the realities of caring for our newborn (just a couple more months to go!).

  17. You make me laugh, first time visitor, will be coming back again! Love your writing I’m going to add you to my blogroll to recommend to others. I’ll have to check out that DVD . . .

  18. I love reading your post, you are an entertaining writer. I linked here from a friend blogger and think I’ll add you to my blogroll. Thanks for the tip on the DVD.

  19. I found your site through another blogger and I am happy I did … I am on my way towards Baby#2 after 7 years and I admit – it is great to read what is crap and what isn’t as far as baby needs … the 1st time around I had it all and no room to walk … this time it is all about the borrowing from friends since I gave away or sold all my daughter’s ‘stuff’ when I swore off any more children – then I was bit and developed Babies Rabies as well … I loved your list and look forward to getting and/or buying all that is good and probably crap – have a great weekend!

    Rebekah, Jaden and Baby#2!

  20. Pingback: Bookmarks about Minimalist

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