Picture this

Me, hovering over Kendall, squeezing my already tapped out boobs to get a couple drops of breast milk to drip in his eyes while Scott holds his chubby cheeks still and Kendall looks up, mouth wide open, completely bewildered as to why I’m aiming so high.  Inevitably, I always miss the first couple of tries and Kendall ends up with milk dripping down his nose or over his hair line.  A couple times I’ve gone for a drop and got a full blown stream.  Kendall screams as he is drenched by the projectile milk.  No.  This is not a fun game of Baby Bullseye with Breastmilk.  This is the what the pediatrician prescribed to get rid of the yellow gunk that frequently develops all around Kendall’s  eyes.  It gets so bad that he can barely open them after a nap and I have to free his eyelids from what looks like a thick layer of dried snot.  Apparently, the best cure for this is not a prescribed cream or pill, but to rub breastmilk in the tearducts of his eyes.  Talk about a Kodak moment.  It’s a freaking miracle that I can get through it without pissing my pants.  I laugh my ass off every time.

9 weeks 5 days old

50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide
Available now: Amazon | Barnes & Noble


  1. As hilarious as this image is, it begs the question: Couldn’t you use a pump? Why does it have to go straight from breast to eye?

  2. Honestly, it’s just easier this way than to bust out the pump, then suck it up with an eyedropper of some sort and squirt it in there. Plus, this is fun for the whole family!

  3. I have never heard of this and of course want to , but probably wont, ask anyone at the hospital but what was the explanation of why this is best for eye crusties? I’ve always seen, and advised patients to just use a warm cloth. Is it because of the protiens? Please let me know if this works, although not every mom may want to do this, but always looking for new ideas!

  4. Gotcha,makes sense. I think though this may be one memory Kendall may never want to hear about when he gets older 😛

  5. Part of me wants you to have a normal life and no more of these crazy “I Love Lucy” esque adventures, for your own sanity. The bigger part wants to keep reading about them.

  6. My little boy (now a year) had the gross eye crusties in one eye when he was about a month old, and we did the massaging with a warm wet cloth, like described in that article. Worked great, and in like 2 days it stopped. Just wondering, are you doing this as well as the breastmilk squirting? I understand the antibiotic properties, but am wondering if it also clears the duct?

Leave A Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.