Oh Dear God! My eyes!

O….M….G…!! Do not, DO NOT stand in front of a three way mirror in your underwear when you are 34 weeks. Holy hell. I’m a fucking cow. Not only am I huge, but the amount of cellulite on my ass is appalling. How long has it looked like this?! I have not exposed myself to such a view since probably the very early 1st trimester. How could I let myself get like this?? I have to admit. I’ve let myself go these last few weeks. The Girl Scout cookies, the ice cream, no trips to the gym. Ugh. I asked for it. In the last two weeks I’ve gone from the “cute” pregnant girl with just a bump to a full blown house, complete with chubby cheeks, flabby arms and jiggly thighs.

Granted, I’ve always known the lighting in Target’s changing rooms is frightening, but I think it was the wakeup call I’ve needed. I have got to stop this train! My innocent trip to try on nursing bras and other postpartum necessities has left me suddenly very aware of how my thighs are now rubbing together and the roll of fat that has appeared under my increasingly tighter bra strap.

I KNOW I’m supposed to be big, okay. I’m not saying I’m going to starve myself and the baby for the next 6 weeks, but I can’t keep this mentality that I can eat whatever I want and that it will all magically melt off with the help of breastfeeding when he comes out. No. My husband keeps reassuring me that I can work it off and hit the gym, but I’m not believing in some fairytale that allows me to find time for the gym with a newborn and a three year old to take care of. Hell, it was hard enough to get there when all I had to worry about was me.

A couple weeks ago I was feeling pretty confident in my pregnant body. I had maternity photos taken and felt really good. I need to get that feeling back. I need to get this cottage cheese off of my ass.

34 weeks 3 days

50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide
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  1. aaaw, don’t sweat it – seeeeriously! I hit the cookie and crap-food train the last few weeks too, and knowing what I look like post-partum, I don’t think it really made a difference – everything’s all smooshed out of shape anyway, whether or not I would have eaten that third cookie. The weight will come off, and it takes a good 9 months to get it on in the first place…

    Both my sisters have lost all their baby weight (and more) multiple times with the magic of breastfeeding. My oldest sister likes to explain to us that she can eat her babies’ weight in chocolate and still lose the weight – heh. That’s the freaking beauty of breastfeeding!

  2. Have you ever read Jenny McCarthy’s Belly Laughs? Because this entry reminded me of that… pick it up, I think you would really enjoy it!

  3. I think this happens to most people! But the breastfeeding actually will magically melt the weight off. I gained at least 60 pounds my first pregnancy and by a year postpartum, I had lost 70, this is with no gym visits EVER. Just walking with my baby in the stroller, breastfeeding and the facct that you probably won’t have much time to eat! I am on my second pregnancy now and I am controlling myself more, but I know I will be able to take off what I put on. Don’t worry, you will be fabulous again!

  4. I agree – don’t let it bother you. I’ve had roadmaps permanantly engraved into my belly and those get me down from time to time, but who the heck needs bikinis anyways?!?! Breastfeeding REALLY is a miracle in the baby weight dept and like someone already said, it takes 9 months to get your body that weigh, it’ll take some time afterward to take care of it – we’re not all skinny machines like the celebs who have babies (and can afford the personal trainers and chefs afterwards). Eat your cookies and icecream – hell, I know I am!

    35 Weeks

  5. Oh! I hadn’t checked your blog in awhile as you were “on hiatus” but now that you’re posting again I love it! I’ve been around for awhile and first heard about you on the knot. If I remember correctly your wedding pictures were amazing! Do you have pg pics posted? (I don’t remember your screen name on the knot….

    Amy (25wks)

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