There comes a time in every pregnant lady’s miraculous journey through growing a fetus that the region below the belly button becomes an invisible waste land, not to be seen again without the help of a mirror for months. I am sad to report that as of this morning’s shower, I have reached that point.
It happened so suddenly. The last time I groomed down there, a couple days ago, I was still able to see enough to navigate if I craned my head in the right direction and put my leg on just the right spot of the bathtub’s edge. As of this morning, no matter how hard I tried, I could no longer see past the swollen bump. I went ahead with the blind technique and managed not to cut off anything important, but I’m afraid even this will have to stop soon. I’m sure the bigger the bump gets the harder it will be to stretch my arms around it. I will soon have to go au naturale. I know there are other options out there, like a professional wax, but I have never had a stranger pour hot wax on my lady parts and tear out the hair with little strips of cloth while I scream from the horror – and I don’t intend to start now….when I can’t even do shots of tequila to dull the pain.
25 weeks 4 days