A reader made a very valid comment on my post below, and it occurred to me that I really only do provide a slice of what it is like for ME to be pregnant here. I would hate for everyone to think I spend the whole time obsessing over the destruction of my body, or that I’m not genuinely and extremely excited about being pregnant and becoming a mom in less that 6 months (holy cow….less than 6 months!). From day one of this blog, I’ve used it as an outlet for those not so “normal” pregnancy thoughts and fears. The ones that hardly anyone ever tells you you will feel or have. While I have no problems telling the people in my life, close or strangers, how wonderful this whole journey is, it’s a little harder to admit that I *occasionally* freak out about some of these things. From my viewpoint, society places so much emphasis on how pregnancy is supposed to be one of the most amazing times in your life and that you’re supposed to cherish each and every minute of it. It starts to make you feel a little guilty when you don’t.
Please, please don’t think that just because I vent about those things here, that I don’t wake up every day thanking God to be experiencing all this and pray every night that I will be able to continue to keep my baby safe and healthy. As much as I hated morning sickness, sometimes I wish it would come back because at least then I knew my baby was most likely healthy. Now that I’ve grown out of that stage, the days that I feel so absolutely fantastic I’m terrified that something is wrong. I know that I am so incredibly lucky to have conceived so quickly and to not have experienced a loss. I can not imagine the pain and heartache some couples experience in trying to conceive, and I never intend to take away from the blessing that getting pregnant is by venting about these things.
So to give you all a peek into what the rest of my pregnancy thoughts are, here are some things I LOVE about being pregnant:
1. I love watching my belly grow! I have always been so self conscious about my tummy. I never could achieve those tight abs that would make me look good in a bikini (although, I have this fantasy that after pregnancy something about my body will change and I will finally get my flat tummy – ha!), but now I embrace my little pooch and love to watch it get bigger. I show it off to my husband every night by lifting up my shirt and standing sideways in between him and the TV. “Look at how big I’m getting!” He just laughs.
2. I love pants with elastic waists. I have mentioned my struggle with clothes on here before, but even though the pants may not always fit just right, the elastic waists are amazing! I’m going to be the most comfy person at Thanksgiving : )
3. I love the anticipation of what is coming next. I read my weekly emails about what the baby is developing this week and am so amazed at how quickly it grows. I can’t wait to find out if it’s a boy or girl and love to have conversations with my husband about what we think it is and how we think it will look. I love laying still at night and trying to determine if what I feel rumbling around in my belly is dinner or the baby, and can’t wait for the day I finally get a fat kick in the ribs or a punch in the belly button.
4. I love how this has brought me and my husband so much closer together, and we were pretty close to begin with! He really is so amazing and I’m so lucky to have someone as involved as he is. As much as I complain about his OCD tendencies and his constant watch over my food intake, I know he only does it out of love. He’s been nothing but supportive and has taken more than his fair share from me. He is going to be the best dad, and that makes me love him even more.
5. I love the thought of beginning a new stage in my life. I know it will change me, it will change my priorities. Things will never be the same, and I can’t wait! I know I will most likely look back on a lot of the stuff I’ve blogged about and think completely different about it because I’ll have a whole new set of eyes to view everything with. I look forward to meeting my baby and delighting in the small achievements. I can’t wait to see their first smile and their first steps. I can’t wait to see a carseat in the back of my Jeep.
Of course, this isn’t an exclusive list. Just a few of the things I can think of off the top of my head. I just wanted to take the time to clarify that I really do love being pregnant (most of the time) and am grateful for every crazy/sane thought I have because I know they would never even occur to me if I wasn’t lucky enough to be going through all of this.
14 weeks 4 days