Tums, sweet tums…Why have I doubted you?

Mmmmph…I type this as I crunch on one of my first handfuls of Tums EVER…in my life.  They are delightful, a little chalky, but chalky is GOOOOOOD right now.  I can guarantee you this is a direct result of the alien baby.  If I were not pregnant, I would be totally disgusted by the thought of Tums. The look, the smell, the texture have never, ever appealed to me.  My husband has been popping them as long as I’ve known him for his terrible heartburn, but I could never understand his love for them.  That is until just a few minutes ago!

This comes at the end of a day full of morning sickness (which, by the way, lasts allllllllllll f-ing day long, and is more appropriately termed every five minutes for the rest of the foreseeable future sickness) with an intensity that I have not yet experienced.  I have gone so far as to avoid phone calls from friends today because the thought of having a conversation that required more than one word answers from me made me envision myself carrying on from the inside of the toilet bowl.  I’ve choked down more water than a human not trying to drown themselves should be allowed, munched on small bland meals that are supposed to help, but nothing has alleviated this horrible feeling of my stomach trying to take up permanent residence in my throat.

As I was washing my face to get ready for bed, I saw the Tums bottle out of the corner of my eye.  Now, my rational side would tell me that this image should make me wretch since I am generally disgusted by Tums, much like I am disgusted by the sight of used cat litter.  However, while I am still disgusted by the cat litter ….so far, who knows what the alien baby will want next (and that would be a JOKE for those of you who take me too seriously), seeing the Tums made me feel like God himself had sent the angels down to sing Hallelujah as I suddenly saw this plastic bottle full of multicolored tablets in a new light.  I was drawn to them, and cautiously put two in my mouth.  Holy mother of all things good in this world, they were amazing!!!  In fact, I have not stopped munching on them throughout this entire post.  The bottle, which was brand new to begin with, is only 2/3 full now.

I am soooo excited about my new love affair! Of course, I’m very aware that this love could be only a quick flash fire instead of a long burning flame.  If there is one thing I’ve learned in the last month it’s that pregnancy makes you feel different every single day, and you can never count on liking the same thing from one day to the next, but for tonight….I’m going to bed with my new lover, sweet Tums, and I’m very happy.

50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide
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  1. Wow, so much morning sickness already! Maybe you’re having twins?

    I know it’s awful, but it is a really good sign. I had none the first time and that didn’t go well but now have it this time so that’s reassuring. I know that really isn’t any consolation to you, you just feel miserable. Thank goodness for Tums and hang in there.

  2. I can’t believe I’m JUST NOW finding this website. Your pregnancy seems to be just as miserable as mine was so far! I wish I could have read this during my pregnancy last year. Damnit.

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