All aboard! The Pregnancy cruise is about to leave.

While I occasionally have to deal with comments like, “That’s not blue cheese dressing is it?  Where’s the waiter…you need ranch…DON’T EAT the blue cheese!” and “You didn’t just eat the deli meat sample, did you?  Come ON, Jill!  Not only is it cold deli meat, but it’s been sitting out in the grocery store all day!  Who knows how many people have reached their hands in there and got their germs all over that?”, there is a way cool upside to my husband’s paranoia.  He won’t let me do ANYTHING.

Yeah, I guess it will get annoying after a while (well, probably not), but I totally plan on living this up while the newness is still exciting.  I worked a 12 hour day entirely on my feet on Sunday, and was pretty much a worthless wreck for the next 24 hours.  Not only did he wake up in the middle of the night to rub my lower back – TWICE, but he also cleaned the entire apartment from top to bottom the next day, insisting the whole time that I stay in bed and “stay away from the chemicals”.

Now, I KNOW this kind of caution isn’t at all necessary, and I’ve tried to explain to him that I’m not a fragile flower.  However, he’s not listening, and I’m certainly not going to push the issue.  He’s cleaned the toilet more in the last month than he has in the entire 5 years we’ve been living together. Oh, and the best part is he read that stress can be passed on from the mother to the baby, and he is all about keeping me stress free now.

It’s like I just boarded the Pregnancy Carnival Cruise for the next nine months!  If you think about it, pregnancy and cruise ships have a lot in common.

1.  Seasickness/Morning Sickness – neither affects everyone on the ship, but it does affect most to a degree, and even though it doesn’t always make you puke, it can still send you running for the side of the ship or an open container every time you belch.

2.  Food – it’s everywhere, but most of it will make you sick.

3.   You will put on weight at an alarming rate, and when you finally disembark you will have to work your ass off to get your pre “cruise” body back.

4.  And if you’re lucky like me, you’ll be pampered and catered to until you’re ushered off the ship at the end of the cruise and back into the harsh reality of life.  And when you leave the Pregnancy Cruise, you get a screaming, demanding, adorable souvenir that will be a lifetime reminder of the time you spent aboard.

Here’s hoping there’s a vast selection of pickles at the buffet!

50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide
Available now: Amazon | Barnes & Noble


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