I like living in a fantasy world

That’s why I’m so afraid to test.  I really should though…it’s driving the immediate gratification seeking, type A person inside of me crazy!  Really, all signs are starting to point toward good news, but since I know that I’m inherently an optimist to the point of it being a fault at times, I am finding it hard to shush that pessimistic little devil on my shoulder telling me that I’m just making things up.  That I’m trying too hard to see the symptoms.  In fact, that little devil is laughing his ass off at me right now for writing this and putting it out in the universe that I’m hopeful this cycle.  He’s telling me that I’m going to feel like such a fool when I get up from the computer only to find that I really shouldn’t have worn these khaki shorts today…he thinks I’m a little cocky in my wardrobe choice.

Devil be damned!  I’m going to get it all out…  Here are my “symptoms”, psychosomatic or not.  *Warning* For those of you who have an aversion to hearing about bodily fluids and such, just close this post now and check back later when I promise I will give a full update minus the full report on the consistency of what is oozing out of my baby factory.

I began noticing creamy CM about three days after ovulation, and it has continued throughout this 2WW.
I became extremely tired about a week ago, but I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that I was traveling, staying up late and partying last weekend.  However, it has continued throughout the last few days when I have no real reason to be tired.
My temps are still up when I wake up, and I’ve been running a low grade fever during the day.
I’m 12DPO, had a 12 day LP last cycle and had already begun spotting by 9dpo.
My cervix is still very high.
Sore breasts that have become very large (but that typically happens before AF).
For the last 24 hours I’ve had a lot of cramping, but nothing to show for it.  I can’t recall ever cramping BEFORE getting my period.

So…that all looks good, right?  Still, I just really hate to think about testing and getting a negative.  I keep running to the bathroom after every bought of cramps expecting to be unpleasantly surprised.  I just need to suck it up and force myself to live in the real world.  If I’m not, I’m not….no biggie…..no biggie.  I’ll keep everyone posted.

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1 Comment

  1. Oooh, the tired is a big sign! I have no idea about the others, but tired is good! I tested because I was tired of sitting around waiting for my period to come – it’s better to just know, then to sit around wondering all the time, so I’d go ahead and test.

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