I can’t stop having vivid(I mean damn near Ally McBeal-type) visions of one of us accidentally dropping my baby over the 4th floor railing right outside of our Embassy Suites hotel room we are staying in. It is terrible. So much so that it kept me up the first night thinking (freaking out, really) about it and I feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack every time we walk the corridor from our room to the elevator and back unless he is secured in his lower than the railing stroller seat. Ugh. I am sick just typing this. It could happen so easily. I want to get a room on a lower level, but there are none on the first floor, and I really think that giving into this paranoia is a tad unhealthy.
This is not the first time I’ve had these visions. I freaked out and nearly snatched Kendall from Scott’s loving arms to run the opposite direction when we visited Austin last month. Scott HAD to go wait for the farking bats to leave their little bat cave under the Congress Street bridge. Well, after their exodus, we headed back across the bridge, high up over the newly named Lady Bird Lake (I think?), with a herd of others. We had to stick close to the side of the bridge since a busy street runs down the middle of it. All I could think about was how easy it would be for someone to trip, fall into Scott and push him and Kendall over the side of the bridge. It was enough to make me feel like walking down the middle of traffic would be a safer option.
WTF is up with this?? Please. Tell me I am normal. Tell me that all moms now see the world as a series of situations that could seriously injur/kill their child. These visions are so overwhelming.
4 months and… ummm… I think a couple weeks. It’s getting really hard to keep track of this stuff. He’s close to 5 months…. let’s just say that.