I’ve been through this 3 times now with the same results, so I think I can consider myself an expert at this point. The 2nd period postpartum, for me, is something I’ve learned to fear and respect. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced in all of my time as a woman.
Let me pause and state the obvious for a sec. This post is going to be ALL about woman stuff. And blood. Lots of woman blood.
With my first two kids, I got my period back when they were both 9 months old. I figured that was a pretty good run. This time around, it didn’t show itself until my baby was 14 months old. It was like winning the lottery. I didn’t have a period for almost 2 years. GLORIOUS.
Each time, the first period back is pretty average- heavy. Nothing insane. It’s a bummer because, obviously, I enjoy it’s absence. But, I settle into the 7 day routine quickly and accept my fate.
Then the 2nd one comes, and I’d be wise to just not even leave the house. (Though there was that one time I had to, complete with undies full of toilet paper.)
Can I just get one of those menstrual hut things? I can totally see the appeal. Banish me to a private room for a week, call me unclean if you must. Just give me wine, chocolate, Hulu Plus, and 5 gallon orange bucket from Home Depot for me to hover over. Any other method of collecting and disposing of this situation is futile.
The seclusion appeals to me mostly because I don’t have to try to hide horrific blood stains and splatters from my children before I have time to clean them. Yes, I could be, like, a really in-touch, honest mom and explain bodily functions to them. But, no, I don’t want to. It just comes down to that.
I’ve moved on to the Diva Cup since I had my 2nd baby. I mostly like it more than tampons. I did a very poorly lit video review of it (talking only, I swear, no demonstrating) years ago.
Part of the appeal for me was it holds more.
(Note: I have deleted several very descriptive sentences that make me laugh out loud because I think they might make a percentage of you vomit. I’m losing my edge.)
But I don’t think it would matter if I could shove a red Solo cup up there, I’d still have to deal with a homicide scene every. hour. The weird part about a menstrual cup is I get a VERY clear idea of just how much I’m expelling from my body. It’s a pretty precise visual.
More deleted stuff about Carrie and buckets…
It’s A LOT.
I was going to type something about how I had to have lost 5 lbs in uterine lining alone over the last 2 days, but then I just jumped on the scale and saw I’ve actually gained a pound. So I’m just going to stop tying now and go cry and eat some more Halloween candy.
Is this a thing other women experience? Is your first or second period postpartum just plain terrifying? I feel like this is something we need to talk about more, especially so expecting moms can secure a menstrual hut for themselves. Perhaps add it to a registry of some sort… along with a Home Depot bucket.
