I began motherhood knowing that I wouldn’t ever be perfect at it, but dammit, I was going to freaking try! And so I fought all those unending battles – finding all the *best* gear, keeping clothes stain free, always having more than enough diapers in the diaper bag (and a backup stash in the car), doing everything in my power to make sure that my screaming baby never disturbed anyone other than myself while out in public (leading me to have no choice but to lock myself and my infant in our house for three months), keeping every spec of dust and debris out of reach of my precious child and his curious hands. Then, well, I was tired. I was SO TIRED. And so I started prioritizing… or maybe I just got lazy. Regardless, it made life easier. It lowered my stress level, and now I don’t feel so pressured to try so hard.

Kodak, the sponsor of this week’s lovely JuiceBoxJungle ad >>>, wants to know what three things are at the top and what three are at the bottom of my mom worry list, so here they are.

TOP

1. My kid’s safety – I’ve blogged about my Mommy Visions on here before, and how I can look at nearly anything that’s seemingly innocent and innocuous and vividly imagine how it might hurt or kill my child. I obsess about things like when to turn his car seat around, and what I’m going to do with him at the grocery store when he’s over 35 lbs because those grocery carts say it’s only safe to put them in the front up to 35 lbs.

2. What he eats- I’ve also recently started writing a lot about our efforts to eat more local, responsibly raised, sustainable. and organic food. However, from day one I’ve always been pretty consumed with what he’s consuming. I spent hours researching what fruits and vegetables I should introduce to him first and how to prepare them. I strive to offer a rainbow of whole foods at every meal. I truly think that my efforts are being rewarded by seeing how much my toddler loves nearly every fruit and vegetable he tries. I will say, though, that I don’t think of myself as a food Nazi. He’s had plenty of “bad” stuff from time to time, mainly because I don’t believe banning anything is going to do him any good.

3. His manners – It really stresses me out when he acts out in public. It truly does. Fortunately, I have to say it’s pretty rare. He seems to save most of his outbursts for when we’re home…. or stuck on a plane (which absolutely had me sweating bullets, but thankfully we don’t fly often). From 12 months to 18 months I was at a loss. He was a tiny little terrorist and I had no idea how to control him. He didn’t understand discipline, and I felt like everything I did to correct his behavior was only making it worse. I’m happy to report that the last few months have been much better. He at least understands the concept of timeout now. If I could just get him to stop laughing and running from me every time I tell him to do anything, I would be pretty happy with where we are in terms of his behavior.

BOTTOM

1. Falls – Okay, oddly enough, I don’t even flinch when the kid falls anymore. Crazy coming from a mom whose number one worry is her child’s safety, I know. I think I’ve just come to terms with the fact that my little boy is a rowdy ball of energy, and he must have a pretty thick noggin. Also, it’s possible he’s part rubber. He falls all. the. time. The majority of the falls actually make him laugh. He also walks into things, like walls and windows, because he’s never looking where he’s going. He’s normally running away from me, looking over one shoulder and cackling like a little evil warlock. Then SMACK. I feel bad because when we’re around other moms and he falls they audibly gasp, run to him, soothe him, and ask if he’s okay all before I’ve taken a step. “Oh, he’s fine,” I always holler at them from across the room. And he almost always is.

2. TV-  I know this is a heated topic, but it’s one I just don’t feel that passionately about. I’m not killing myself trying to make sure my child isn’t exposed to TV until college, or even the first few years, BUT THE STUDIES!! some of you are shouting at your computer screen. Listen, I didn’t plug my kid in front of Baby Einstein for hours on end as an infant hoping he’d know his colors and shapes by his 1st birthday, and it’s not like he’s sitting in front of a TV, zoning out all his waking hours. I’d be lying, though, if I said I don’t rely on a little help from PBS, Nick Jr. and Sprout to get me through my day. As much as I want him to go play with his “open ended” toys that inspire creativity and imagination, many times it’s just not happening, and I need to get the dishwasher loaded without him trying to inspire himself by running off with a steak knife. Also, sometimes he just really wants to watch “Go-go” (Diego), and I just really want to drink some coffee and check Facebook.

3. Messes- This one extends a little bit further beyond mom into the Stay At Home Mom category, for me. When we made the decision that I would stay at home, I remember telling my husband how our house would be SO clean because I would have “so much time” to do things like mop the floors and organize the pantry. Really, I *actually* thought that… until I had my outside baby. I was drowning in guilt the first 6 or 8 months of Kendall’s life, trying so hard to stay on top of everything, including all the household chores that I HATED while living off of next to no sleep. Then I had a lightbulb moment one day when I finally accepted that my “job” is a stay at home MOM, not a stay at home mom/housekeeper/organizer, and I was actually doing quite well at the MOM part. Our house is clean most of the time to a certain degree, but don’t go looking at my baseboards or my tile grout. There are splatters of dog slobber crusted to the wall here and there that will probably only disappear after we paint over them. There is food permanently stuck inside a ridge lining the perimeter of my kitchen table. I don’t care. I tell myself all the time, “A toddler lives here, 2 dogs and a cat live here, a maid does NOT live here.”

So what about you? What are your top and bottom 3? I’m sure everyone’s answers will vary, but it will be interesting to see which ones end up being the most popular.

Kendall is 21 months old, and right now I’m not worried he’s been napping for nearly 3 and a half hours

That, however, does not take away from the coolness that is inside. I actually found out about JuiceBoxJungle.com when I visited another blog and got sucked in watching the videos. Frankly, they are hysterical and speak to my inner mommy soul, and I’m pretty damn sure they will ring true with a lot of my readers, too. Let’s take this quick segment on parenting with playpens today for example. Recently I showed you how we evolved from Baby Jail to George. We could not have survived those early mobile months without the Baby Jail! This is just one of those topics that I could really relate to.

After I poked around and watched a handful of videos that made me nearly snort my wine, I took the Truth and Dare quiz to find out my “True Mom Style”.   I almost choked  when it revealed my results.  Apparently, I am some sort of “Super Mom”. Say WHA???

Suuuuuuupermom!! You are organized, never run out of milk, and you book birthday parties 3 months ahead. You can’t be pushed around by your kids and you make sure they are fed the best organic food and get to bed on time. But at same time you are loads of fun. You throw yourself into kids play with great passion! Forts, crafts, soccer games, you do it all! You run riot with your kids in the park and then find it in your heart to bake cookies for the PTA. Your friends would hate you if you weren’t so much fun!

That is not possible. It’s just not. I don’t think they ask the right questions. And to prove it, here are some very non-Supermom worthy confessions:

1. I do run out of milk on occasion, actually, and last week I let the dishes go for so long that I found homemade yogurt in sippy cups at the bottom of the sink.

2. I may be able to plan parties months in advance, but I don’t have the foresight or the desire, really, to plan my menu for the month or the week. I’ve tried numerous times to clip coupons, but they NEVER make it to the store with me. My pantry is a disaster and I always come home from the store with stuff we already have because I lack the ability to make a good grocery list.

3. I may feed my kid organic whenever possible, but today I lived off a diet of cinnamon rolls, peppermint Hershey’s Kisses and coffee.

4.  I may try to do crafts with my kid, but last week, when I was attempting to make this handprint/footprint reindeer from No Time For Flashcards, I snapped at Kendall and muttered “Oh for FUCKS sake, will you just be STILL so I can trace your foot!” after 15 minutes of what felt like wrestling a pig.

5. Kendall may go to bed on time every night, but I assure you that is purely for selfish reasons.

But, hey, if they want to call me Supermom, who am I to argue? I’m making my cape tomorrow. You may think that’s one of my regular exaggerations, but it’s not. I just made superhero capes for all my nieces and nephews for Christmas today, and tomorrow I think I just might make Kendall one and one for myself, Supermom. And then it will probably get spaghetti sauce or chalk or crayons on it and I’ll need to wash it, and it will end up in the hazard zone of our house known as the bottom of my closet, maybe never to be seen again… because I’m super like that.

Anyway, the JuiceBox Jungle widget is here to stay for a while. It shouldn’t go playing on you, though, if you don’t want it to. It’s not to make any noise unless asked, so please don’t worry about coming here and jumping out of your skin when you’re startled by it playing because that should not happen. The content will be changing from week to week, so if you’re interested, give it a look and press play.  This week I see there is no video, just a quiz, sponsored by Restaurant.com.

I’m wondering when they will do a segment on whether or not it’s appropriate to wear your Supermom cape to happy hour?

Kendall is 19 and a half months old, merely years away from being embarrassed by his Supermother wearing her cape in public.