Beef, it’s what for dinner.

And lunch, and even breakfast.

It started about a week ago, a friend posted a picture of a steak on her Facebook status. I was drawn to it, salivating, suddenly finding myself drawn in by food rather than repulsed by it. It was fleeting, though, as I haven’t been much of a steak eater lately. But I sat there, flipping through the channels, and ran across the PFPW Channel (Porn For Pregnant Women), also known as The Food Network. That Sonic the Hedgehog looking guy was making BBQ brisket. The way he poured the sauce on it, the way it dribbled through all the cracks of the meat, the way the bun soaked it up, I was ENTRANCED. It was 10 pm and I NEEDED a BBQ brisket sandwich.

I didn’t get my fix until the next day when, exhausted and wondering what the hell I was thinking deciding to go to the zoo when it was 95 out, we walked into a cafe near the lion exhibit. I nearly crawled over the people in front of us in line when I saw they had BBQ beef brisket sandwiches on the menu. It was, like, the best sandwich of my life. I did not share one single crumb. I threw fries at my child to keep him at bay.

Not actual sandwich, but accurately depicts deliciousness.

Over the next 48 hours I consumed 3 more BBQ beef brisket sandwiches, each as heavenly as the last. As I type this, I want nothing more than another BBQ brisket sandwich.

Tonight, I was craving straight up bovine. Yeah, you buddy.

You are not cute, you are delicious.

I wanted a fat hunk of red meat. It’s all I could think about. We attended a lovely little birthday party today, complete with delicious cupcakes which I wanted nothing to do with because they were not bleeding and did not, at any point in their previous life, moo.

It was a Code Red Alert on the way home. We pulled off at Outback Steakhouse, where I indulged in a fantastic medium steak, like this…

It’s uncontrollable. I’m unstoppable. There is not a walking piece of beef safe from the desires of my fetus. And let me tell you, the fetus does not care if the cow was a happy cow, if the cow was fed organically, if the cow fell asleep on a lush bed of hay. The fetus laughs at my attempts to “eat local” and “reduce meat consumption.” The fetus WANTS BEEF NOW.

I’m 12.5 weeks pregnant, and OMG, this post is making me hungry… again.

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The kid already takes me for a fool

Not even 2 yet, and he’s already trying to fool me with his trickery.

Kendall and I had a date tonight where we shared a cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate milkshake. None of it organic. None of it healthy. All of it delicious. We both left with the buttons of our pants undone, and even still, I had to unzip his pants a bit before I buckled him into the carseat.

Kendall is 22.5 months old, and probably gained a pound or two tonight.

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Prioritizing my worry list

I don’t think I understood how important it is to “pick your battles” until I became a mom. There are SO MANY small and large battles you could fight, an overwhelming, unending list of things you could worry about.  I learned the hard way in the beginning, but that’s sort of a new mom rite of passage, I think.

I began motherhood knowing that I wouldn’t ever be perfect at it, but dammit, I was going to freaking try! And so I fought all those unending battles – finding all the *best* gear, keeping clothes stain free, always having more than enough diapers in the diaper bag (and a backup stash in the car), doing everything in my power to make sure that my screaming baby never disturbed anyone other than myself while out in public (leading me to have no choice but to lock myself and my infant in our house for three months), keeping every spec of dust and debris out of reach of my precious child and his curious hands. Then, well, I was tired. I was SO TIRED. And so I started prioritizing… or maybe I just got lazy. Regardless, it made life easier. It lowered my stress level, and now I don’t feel so pressured to try so hard.

Kodak, the sponsor of this week’s lovely JuiceBoxJungle ad >>>, wants to know what three things are at the top and what three are at the bottom of my mom worry list, so here they are.

TOP

1. My kid’s safety – I’ve blogged about my Mommy Visions on here before, and how I can look at nearly anything that’s seemingly innocent and innocuous and vividly imagine how it might hurt or kill my child. I obsess about things like when to turn his car seat around, and what I’m going to do with him at the grocery store when he’s over 35 lbs because those grocery carts say it’s only safe to put them in the front up to 35 lbs.

2. What he eats- I’ve also recently started writing a lot about our efforts to eat more local, responsibly raised, sustainable. and organic food. However, from day one I’ve always been pretty consumed with what he’s consuming. I spent hours researching what fruits and vegetables I should introduce to him first and how to prepare them. I strive to offer a rainbow of whole foods at every meal. I truly think that my efforts are being rewarded by seeing how much my toddler loves nearly every fruit and vegetable he tries. I will say, though, that I don’t think of myself as a food Nazi. He’s had plenty of “bad” stuff from time to time, mainly because I don’t believe banning anything is going to do him any good.

3. His manners – It really stresses me out when he acts out in public. It truly does. Fortunately, I have to say it’s pretty rare. He seems to save most of his outbursts for when we’re home…. or stuck on a plane (which absolutely had me sweating bullets, but thankfully we don’t fly often). From 12 months to 18 months I was at a loss. He was a tiny little terrorist and I had no idea how to control him. He didn’t understand discipline, and I felt like everything I did to correct his behavior was only making it worse. I’m happy to report that the last few months have been much better. He at least understands the concept of timeout now. If I could just get him to stop laughing and running from me every time I tell him to do anything, I would be pretty happy with where we are in terms of his behavior.

BOTTOM

1. Falls – Okay, oddly enough, I don’t even flinch when the kid falls anymore. Crazy coming from a mom whose number one worry is her child’s safety, I know. I think I’ve just come to terms with the fact that my little boy is a rowdy ball of energy, and he must have a pretty thick noggin. Also, it’s possible he’s part rubber. He falls all. the. time. The majority of the falls actually make him laugh. He also walks into things, like walls and windows, because he’s never looking where he’s going. He’s normally running away from me, looking over one shoulder and cackling like a little evil warlock. Then SMACK. I feel bad because when we’re around other moms and he falls they audibly gasp, run to him, soothe him, and ask if he’s okay all before I’ve taken a step. “Oh, he’s fine,” I always holler at them from across the room. And he almost always is.

2. TV-  I know this is a heated topic, but it’s one I just don’t feel that passionately about. I’m not killing myself trying to make sure my child isn’t exposed to TV until college, or even the first few years, BUT THE STUDIES!! some of you are shouting at your computer screen. Listen, I didn’t plug my kid in front of Baby Einstein for hours on end as an infant hoping he’d know his colors and shapes by his 1st birthday, and it’s not like he’s sitting in front of a TV, zoning out all his waking hours. I’d be lying, though, if I said I don’t rely on a little help from PBS, Nick Jr. and Sprout to get me through my day. As much as I want him to go play with his “open ended” toys that inspire creativity and imagination, many times it’s just not happening, and I need to get the dishwasher loaded without him trying to inspire himself by running off with a steak knife. Also, sometimes he just really wants to watch “Go-go” (Diego), and I just really want to drink some coffee and check Facebook.

3. Messes- This one extends a little bit further beyond mom into the Stay At Home Mom category, for me. When we made the decision that I would stay at home, I remember telling my husband how our house would be SO clean because I would have “so much time” to do things like mop the floors and organize the pantry. Really, I *actually* thought that… until I had my outside baby. I was drowning in guilt the first 6 or 8 months of Kendall’s life, trying so hard to stay on top of everything, including all the household chores that I HATED while living off of next to no sleep. Then I had a lightbulb moment one day when I finally accepted that my “job” is a stay at home MOM, not a stay at home mom/housekeeper/organizer, and I was actually doing quite well at the MOM part. Our house is clean most of the time to a certain degree, but don’t go looking at my baseboards or my tile grout. There are splatters of dog slobber crusted to the wall here and there that will probably only disappear after we paint over them. There is food permanently stuck inside a ridge lining the perimeter of my kitchen table. I don’t care. I tell myself all the time, “A toddler lives here, 2 dogs and a cat live here, a maid does NOT live here.”

So what about you? What are your top and bottom 3? I’m sure everyone’s answers will vary, but it will be interesting to see which ones end up being the most popular.

Kendall is 21 months old, and right now I’m not worried he’s been napping for nearly 3 and a half hours

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We found a farmer’s market!

Changes are a coming. Yesterday, after a lovely 8 mile family run and a trip to Starbucks where I eternally screwed myself by introducing Kendall to the kid’s hot chocolate, we saw a sign at the entrance of a nearby outdoor mall. It was advertising LOCAL CHEESE, and FRESH BREAD. OMG! A Farmer’s Market! And not more than 5 miles from our house.

Sad thing is I’d seen these signs before. Hell, I’d even seen the booths set up outside before as I quickly walked past to get to Carters for their awesome sale on PJs. I never once put 2 and 2 together to figure out that this was EXACTLY the place we needed to be shopping. I never realized that I could get grass fed, locally grown, responsibly raised meat and eggs here.  In fact, before we drove past the mall I was telling Scott that we needed to plan a trip out to a nearby farm this weekend to talk to them and try out some of their meat. Ha! Turns out we were able to do just that without the 1.5 hour round trip drive, just by swinging by the Four Seasons Market.

Granted, it didn’t have a huge selection. There wasn’t much produce to speak of, but, as advertised, there was local cheese and yogurt and bread. Better still, there were two farms represented, selling grass fed meat and eggs. We had a nice long chat with the couple who runs Sloans Creek Farm about how much we miss living in Virginia and how awesome Joel Salatin (of The Omnivore’s Dilemma and Food Inc. fame) is. They told us he’d be speaking at Plano’s Live Green Expo in April, which thrilled us like they’d just told us Joel McHale was coming to town. They even invited us out to their farm for a celebration they happen to be throwing this year on Kendall’s second birthday. I think we just might take them up on it.

Unfortunately, they didn’t have any chicken or eggs, so we headed to the other booth occupied by a local farm, Truth Hill Farm. Turns out we arrived too late in the day to pick up any eggs from them, too, but we were able to snag the last whole chicken they had in the freezer. I was so excited I asked the kind man to pose for a picture. I blabbed something about my “parenting blog” and how our “life is changing” and “you know, Food Inc?”, and I’m positive it all sounded Greek to him, but he kindly obliged my request.

With that major purchase out of the way, I headed to the Lucky Layla Farm booth to pick up some cheese and drinkable yogurt for Kendall. (I gave him some of that today, and he liked it so much he chewed the nipple off his sippy cup to suck every last drop out of there. Perhaps I should look into a straw next time.) The man, wearing a very broken in OU hat, was the picture of jolly, and more than happy to answer the string of questions I had about how and where his products were produced.

I was tempted to pick up some yummy smelling spices from Kurry King, but considering I don’t know what the heck to do with them, I figured my money was better spent on some basic food for now. So I spent the last bit of my $40 on two loaves of bread, a whole wheat loaf from the charming family that runs Rosey Ridge Farm, and another rustic white loaf from a young, nice girl who bakes all the bread for her WeMe Bread micro-bakery in East Dallas on her own.

Notice how I can tell you a little bit about each of the producers I purchased from? How simply amazing is that?I have never come home from the grocery store with a bag full of food and a head full of stories all about where and how that food was produced. I’ve never been able to put a face to the name on the label of my bread. I’ve never been able to visualize the actual farm my chicken was raised on. Simply amazing, and yet amazingly simple. Farmer raises meat, brings meat to market, you meet farmer, farmer tells you about his farm.

Okay, I will admit that I didn’t bring home as much “food” for my $40 as I would with a trip to a traditional grocery store, but that’s only if you consider “food” to be anything edible. What I did do was bring home what I believe to be a bag full of nothing but REAL food, no fillers, no junk, which is incredibly hard to find at a grocery store.

Here’s a picture of my “haul” (I laugh as I type that because my friend Michelle just introduced me to these “haul” videos on YouTube, and I am COMPLETELY CONFUSED by them. These people are going on and on about their Walmart and drugstore purchase for some reason I’ve yet to figure out, and NONE of them can read a receipt. For a lobotomy, click here and see what I mean.)

Breakdown of cost:

4.25 lb chicken $16.94
San Pedro block of cheese $10
2 drinkable yogurts $3
1 loaf  rustic white bread $4
1 loaf  whole wheat bread $5

Total= $38.94

Next week I hope we get there early enough to get a couple dozen eggs ($4/dozen) and some freshly made whole wheat linguini ($6/lb).

I’m so happy we found this place! At least between now and getting a deep freeze/placing a bulk order for meat we can hit the market up weekly for our meat, egg and cheese purchases. Now, I just need to find a produce solution. I happened to grab a copy of  Edible Dallas & Fort Worth while I was there, and lo and behold there is a whole article dedicated to CSAs and Co-ops (pg. 25, Winter 2009). Squeezepenny is highlighted, and was also recommended by a reader, so I think I’m going to start there.

So that’s where we stand as of now with our commitment to changing how we eat. What about you? Have you done anything? I have to say I am so excited and inspired to be hearing from so many of you about the changes you have been making and are starting to make. Thank you so much for sharing with me!

Kendall is about a week shy of 21 months old.

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