“Why would Scott be inside Kendall’s room banging?”

::step, step::

“Oh…my…God, please let it be Scott inside Kendall’s room banging.”

::step, step, slowly open door, thud::

That thud was me accidentally hitting my kid, the one who was supposed to be IN HIS CRIB.

He looked up at me, grinned ear to ear, and seemed to say, “Hey mom! What’s up? Don’t worry, I got out all by myself. I’m good. See, I even got my toys out and everything. I don’t need a nap!”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I knew it was the end of an era. He finally mastered climbing out of the crib. It was only a matter of time. I should have seen it coming much sooner after taking him to the mall play area that morning. He scaled the Tweety Bird slide, all the way to the top of Tweety’s head, 3 times all by himself.  Last week I came into the living room after quickly throwing some clothes into the dryer to find him perched atop our couch, the fireplace behind him. Why, then, did I think I’d be lucky enough to keep him in the crib until he was 2? Because I had planned that? Ha. Surely I should know better than to think I’ll ever be able to follow through with anything I plan.

We were lucky he hadn’t hurt himself, and knew we had to make a change immediately, so Kendall skipped his nap on Monday while we ran to Home Depot to replace his corded blinds with roller shades. We also removed just about everything from his room. I would say it was pretty baby proofed to begin with, but we’re trying not to underestimate his powers as of late. We took the front off the crib, turning it into a toddler bed, and laid a bunch of pillows on the floor next to it.

I was terrified that Monday night was going to be a battle, but, delightfully, it wasn’t at all, and neither was last night. He went to sleep without a fight, stayed in bed, and didn’t fall out. Both mornings we retrieved him before he did so much as read a book from his bookshelf, and that was as late as 8.

Now, before you go hating on me for bragging, know that as I type this I am seated next to his bedroom door, listening for sounds of distress, as I have abandoned him in his room in hopes of him taking a nap. I started at 1 by reading a couple books, then wrestling with him while he tried to crocodile roll himself off his bed for over 20 minutes. I asked his teacher yesterday how she gets him to nap on the floor, and she told me they just don’t make eye contact, keep laying him down, pat his back, and tell him to go to sleep. Tried that. Failed. Miserably. So I left the room for a bit before I became concerned with the lack of noise coming from the room because silence is never golden when you have an uncaged toddler. Then I went back in, took the white noise machine away from him, tried the crocodile wrestling some more, left again. I finally went back in a few minutes ago and just sat in his rocking chair  and pretended to ignore him while he screamed and eventually passed out on the floor amongst his toys. It took 2 hours, but he’s conked out now, and I’m grateful to have at least one more afternoon nap. I refuse to let him give up naps just because he’s not contained to a crib. (That sounds terrible, I know. Let me clarify that the screaming was brief, and is pretty par for the course around here. He almost always hollers a bit out of pure exhaustion before going to sleep.)

And yet, the whole time I sat there in our rocking chair pretending to ignore him, I couldn’t help but think about Layla Grace, a 2 year old with Stage 4 Nueroblastoma who is living the last moments of her life, and this incredibly heartbreaking blog entry by her mother all about how she wants nothing more than for her sweet baby to stay awake. I just couldn’t help but feel sad and greedy for wanting, willing, begging my son to take a nap. And how trivial of me to be annoyed that *my* plans to keep my son in his crib until 2 were derailed, when this family’s plans to raise a beautiful little girl who they hoped to shop for prom dresses for, see off to college and walk down the aisle were vanishing in front of their very own eyes. My thoughts and prayers are with Layla Grace and her family.

Kendall is 21 and a half months old

The pictures in the tutorial below are for the first crib rail guard I made for my son. I made another last year for my daughter, along with everything else I made for her nursery:

Now, onto the tutorial…

Not only do I make people, but I also make things that keep those people from turning their gorgeous convertible crib that I once envisioned gracing children’s rooms and guest rooms for decades to come (HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHA!!  My ignorance and naivety…oooh!  It’s so funny!) into chomped up little bits suitable for sturdy beaver dams.

After discovering several dozen notches scratched into the top of Kendall’s crib a while back, I began looking for things to not only prevent him from ingesting polyurethane and other lovely chemicals, but also to preserve what is left of the once beautiful crib.  I found the stick on plastic and rubber guards, but those, I felt, would make the crib look worse and leave behind a sticky residue.  Then I saw a few cloth teething guards listed on sites like Etsy.  I was contemplating shelling out the $30 for one of my own and realized that they looked incredibly easy to make.  After a lot of digging around on Google, I never really turned up a tutorial that showed me exactly what I wanted to make, so I winged it.  That says a lot considering I just got a sewing machine for Christmas and have only ever made a couple nursing covers, thanks to this blog.

So, without further rambling, I present to you my haphazard tutorial on how to whip up one of these puppies.  However, let me state for the record that I am no sewing expert!!  My stitches aren’t straight and I wasted a ton of fabric because I got the measurements wrong the first time around, but here’s the final product.

It’s actually three separate pieces, so I’m only going to spell out how to do one.  I’m sure you all can figure the rest out from there, based on your own crib measurements.

Materials: (this is enough to make all three pieces)
3 yards of fabric (I chose three contrasting fabrics)
1 yard of single face quilted fabric

1. Measure the length of the side of the crib you are making the cover for from inside corner to inside corner.  Add 2 inches to this measurement for your length.  I decided to make mine 9 inches wide, but I have a pretty fat crib rail.  If you’d like to customize your own width, just take your tape measure and wrap it around the crib rail until it tightly touches underneath, then add 2 inches to this measurement.  So, for example, I cut my fabric to 53″ x 11″ for the front guard.

Now, I did have to do some additional math since I decided to make that front guard out of three pieces of fabric instead of just one.  If you’d like to do something similar, just make sure that you account for the seams when you cut the fabric and add an extra half inch where each piece will meet.  ( I really hope all this is making sense.  Damn.   I knew I should have written this before the glass and a half of wine.)

2.  Cut your quilted fabric to the exact width you want your final measurement to be.  Since you only have a yard of this, you are going to have to sew together two pieces for the long guard.  Again, make sure  you account for seams when you cut the two pieces.  My final quilted piece ended up being exactly 51″ x 9″.

3. Lay your decorative fabric strip face down, fold up the sides half an inch and press with an iron, starting with the long sides first, followed by short sides.

4. Center the quilted fabric, right side up on top of the decorative fabric.  Then fold the decorative fabric half an inch over the quilted fabric, press and pin.

5. Make your ties.  For the long guard, I made bows that tied the guard together at 5 spots (either end around the corner posts and three down the middle).  Each bow needs two long strips of fabric, one on each side of the guard matched up.  I cut the corner ties (4) 3″ x 20″ and the middle ones (6) 3″ x 10″.  Then I folded each in half lengthwise, pressed them, stitched down the long side and one short side, and turned right side out. (This was, by far, the biggest PITA.  Grosgrain ribbon would probably work well and be easier, but it’s much more expensive than a yard of fabric.)

6. Place your ties for the bows.  Since all cribs are different, I’m not going to bother with telling you exactly where I placed my ties for the bows.  I just took the raw guard and placed it over the crib, then marked with some pins where I wanted each bow to tie so that it would be centered between the crib rails.

7. Lay your raw gaurd piece back face down and place each tie where you marked, making sure it’s up all the way underneath the edge of the folded seam over the quilted fabric.

8. Straight stitch around the entire guard at the edge of the folded seam closest to the exposed quited fabric.  Then fold the ties back and stitch again all the way around, this time closest to the outer edge.  I also reinforced each tie by back-stitching over each one.

9. Place over your crib rail, double knot it and tie it up.  Note- these ties are long, but I made them that way so that I could double knot them and, on the corners, double wrap them around the posts.  If the length makes you leery, you could certainly shorten them.

10. Repeat the same steps with adjusted measurements for the other two gaurds.  Here’s another look.

Hope that makes sense!  Again, I’m by no means saying this is the best way to do this, just what I figured out on my own.  If you are a sewing goddess, feel free to chime in with tweaks and tips!  I do think it turned out pretty cute.  Kendall likes to chew on it.

Kendall is 9 months and 1 week old

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