Top 10 Newborn Essentials

Posted by on March 3, 2011 56 Comments

Is a 2 month old a newborn still? What if she weighs 15 lbs already and sleeps in 6-9 month jammies? Regardless, 2 months into this whole parenting gig the second time around and I finally have time to share with you all my Top 10 Newborn Essentials. These are 10 things that make my life with a newborn much easier.

1. iPhone- I didn’t have an iPhone or any kind of smart phone with Kendall in the beginning. Oh, I didn’t know what I was missing! I remember begging Scott to set up a small TV in our bedroom after the first week because I needed *something* to do while I was up all night with him. I can’t even count how many late night infomercials I watched in those early months.

Now? I can read books, reply to emails, chat on Twitter, catch up on Facebook, and even blog all from my iPhone. Many days I don’t have time to crack open my laptop until naptime, but I can check in quickly on my phone throughout the day. Not to mention, I love that I have a camera and video camera with me at all times. Great for capturing those adorable and hilarious moments of life with a newborn and a toddler and sending them to distant family and friends. And the calendar and alerts features have saved me from having to remember all those doctor’s appointments.

2. A good pump- I didn’t pump much with Kendall because all I had was a manual pump, and it just didn’t work out for me. I’m really lucky nothing ever happened that would have made me rely on a freezer stash. This time around I have an AMAZING pump from Hygeia, and as a result, I have an ever-growing freezer stash of breastmilk.

Hygeia sent me the Enjoye electric double pump for free to review, and I started using it just a few days after we brought Leyna home. She refused to latch on to my left nipple after my milk came in, and I was fighting engorgement. Within 2 days I had 10 ounces in the freezer. This pump is SO efficient and SO easy to use, especially compared to the manual I dealt with with Kendall (no wonder I never wanted to use that thing!). I don’t know what I would have done without it. I always bust it out when I feel clogged ducts. So far, no full blown mastitis this time around!

A good pump is a necessity for any working mom who wishes to breastfeed, but even stay at home moms benefit from a pump. It’s always good to have an emergency freezer stash, and wonderful for that morning after the first night your baby sleeps longer than 4 hours and you think your breasts are about to explode.

The Hygeia Enjoye, unlike many other popular electric pumps, is a non-hospital grade breast pump registered with the FDA for multiple users. There is no risk of your milk coming in contact with anything a previous user’s milk touched if you get your own personal accessory set. It’s the “greenest” breast pump because it CAN be used by more than one mother, and when it comes to the end of it’s lifecycle, you can send it back to Hygeia and they will recycle it. As of this year, breast pumps and supplies are now tax deductible and you can use your flex savings account to get reimbursed for your purchase. So go get you a GOOD breast pump!

3. Bouncy Seat- We have quite a few baby apparatuses, and I babywear when I can, but the Fisher Price bouncy seat has seen the most use out of all of them. It’s where Kendall slept for a couple months and where Leyna now sleeps (propped up next to us inside her co-sleeper). It’s also lightweight, easy to move around the house, and a great place to lay baby outside the shower while you clean up, alternating scrubbing your hair and peeking out to check on them.

Plus, we’ve found our babies love to be bounced to sleep. As I type this, Leyna is in her bouncy seat on the floor in front of me napping while I gently bounce her with my feet. There are several designs to choose from. You don’t need anything too fancy, and the lighter, the better.

4. Moby Wrap- A lot of times, babies just want to be held, they want to be close to you. If you want to get anything done (dishes, makeup, going to the bathroom), you’ll have a lot more luck keeping baby close and being semi-productive with one of these. It’s simplicity was intimidating to me at first. It’s just a long piece of fabric you have to learn to wrap and tie a certain way, but once I figured it out, it was a breeze. Both babies loved being snuggled next to me in it. It’s also the only way I can go grocery shopping with both kids. Kendall sits in the front of the cart and Leyna snuggles in the Moby. When Kendall had colic, I could get him to calm many times by putting him in it and going for a bouncy walk outside. Sure, I looked a little silly, but it quieted the screams.

5. Flatfolds as Burp Cloths – All babies spit up, some a lot more than others. We’ve been pretty lucky that neither Kendall nor Leyna have been really messy in this department, but we still use the heck out of these Gerber cloths. They are technically old-fashioned cloth diapers, though I think they work much better as burp cloths and all around baby cleanup cloths. I keep a couple in my diaper bag, and we always have one floating around the living room. They do work as an extra diaper in a pinch, also great for cleaning up blowouts and blowing snotty noses. Down the road, they’ll make great house cleaning rags.

6. White Noise- When I met with Dr. Harvey Karp last week he told me a new study showed that babies who are swaddled and listen to white noise at night sleep on average an extra hour longer. An extra hour  of sleep with a newborn is pretty close to winning the lottery. White noise was great for Kendall when colic was at it’s peak. We even kept CDs (similar to this one) of vacuum and hair dryer noises in both cars. But even beyond colic, he still sleeps with white noise every night from his Homemedics Lullaby Sound Spa. Since we still have the monitor on in his room and Leyna sleeps with us, we all end up listening to the same noises all night.

7. Swaddling Blankets- I’m a believer of the 4th trimester theory, that babies aren’t really *ready* for the world when they are born. I learned all about this in Dr. Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby On The Block book. We found once we started swaddling Kendall, he calmed much quicker and slept longer. We didn’t hesitate to start this with Leyna. We swaddled her in these sweet Aden & Anais muslin blankets at first (love that they are lightweight!), and quickly moved her into the Miracle Blanket when she got a little bigger and stronger. I like to say the Miracle Blanket is woven threads of baby tranquilizers.

8. Primo EuroBath- We went through 4 different containers to bathe Kendall in, never really loving any of them. The first was a baby sling, which made me cringe. Maybe we were using it wrong, but all it seemed to do was hold his naked wet body up and out of the water. Didn’t look comfortable at all, and seemed incredibly cold. This time around a friend got the Primo EuroBath tub for us and I LOVE it. You use one side for tiny babies, then switch it  around and sit older babies in the other side. For newborns, you can fill it just enough to let them be slightly submerged, and it keeps them in place in a reclined position. You can use it on a countertop, but we just keep ours in the kid’s tub.

9. Boppy-  I use this primarily as a breastfeeding pillow, and while I’ll admit there are more supportive pillows for newborn breastfeeding (like the My Brest Friend), this is still my favorite over all. First of all, the Boppy is easy to use, no straps to deal with. It’s also multi-purpose. It’s great for tummy time, comfy for new moms to sit on when healing after delivery, and it makes an excellent neck pillow while traveling in the car. Make sure you get an extra cover for yours. I find I’m always washing mine.

10. Cloth Diapers- We’re cloth diapering a newborn for a 2nd time, and the love is still there. Again, we’re using Kissaluvs size 0 fitteds with Thirsties covers primarily. I’m sorry to say Sunshine Diapers no longer offers the Kissaluvs Newborn Rental package (epic sad!), but you can buy them used from places like DiaperSwappers, or buy your own new stash and sell them or loan them out when you’re done. I also tried a Fuzzi Bunz XS pocket diaper (sent to me for review at no cost) and quickly fell in love with it. They are more expensive than the fitted diapers, but very convenient and trim. I think they make a great addition to a newborn cloth diaper stash.

Of course, every baby and family is different, and what works great for me and mine may not be a good fit for you. These are just 10 things that make *my* life easier. Do you agree or disagree with any of them? Have any to add? I’d love to make this post a great go-to resource for expecting readers, so feel free to chime in in the comments!

Also, I’ve been working on an Amazon store and all the Amazon product affiliate links above go back to my store. You can find much more than my Newborn Essentials there, so give it a browse. Each product is one I’d feel confident recommending to anyone. I’ll add more to it as I have time. I should note if you purchase through those links, I get a tiny little percent.

Disclosure- Some of the products included in my Newborn Essentials list were sent to me for free to review. They truly earned their spot on this list, and I wasn’t paid to include anything.

Kendall is 2 years, 10 months and Leyna is 2 months old

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Filed Under: Reviews, Round 2 |Tagged With: , , , , , , , |56 Comments

The Rest of The Story, Take 2

Posted by on January 12, 2011 41 Comments

I firmly believe one of the least discussed parts of the whole pregnancy, childbirth, becoming a mom experience is the part that follows immediately after that baby exits your womb. The world, with all it’s warm and fuzzy ads and Lifetime movies, would have you believe that once that baby is out, all is perfect with the world. The pain leaves, you heal up, you go about your blissful existence with your newborn… at least until colic sets in.

Not. TRUE.

I was so blindsided by what followed Kendall’s birth that I feel like the days/weeks after I had him were far more traumatizing than the pain of delivering without an epidural. The Pitocin in the thigh, nearly passing out, the catheter, the blood, the stitches, the rash, the mastitis, the chunks of flesh falling off my bleeding nipples… NOBODY WARNED ME ABOUT THAT SHIT.

Now, looking back, and after experiencing things the 2nd time around, I have to think that maybe my experience was a little on the extreme side the 1st time (and I’m so sorry if I scared the living hell out of you). That said, it wasn’t all rosy and baby powder scented diapers of puppies and bunnies this time, either.

Each time I’ve pushed out a baby, my mind has rejoiced momentarily that the “pain is over.” And then, minutes later, I’m reminded it’s not. Sure the pain level has decreased, but it’s not over. First, there was the delivering of the enormous placenta I was carrying around that was, apparently, about the size of my baby.

Then, though I only had a small 1st degree tear this time, I still had to have stitches, meaning I had to endure several shots of local anesthetic to the part of my body I wish to not be touched for the next year. And then? That doesn’t completely numb the area, just dulls it slightly, leaving me still able to feel the sensation of the thread and needle weaving in and out of my delicate and already battered nether regions.

On the bright side, I didn’t bleed nearly as much after having Leyna as I did Kendall. There was no need for the shot of Pitocin to the thigh, and I didn’t pass out on my way to the toilet, either. I did, however, leave a lovely, murderous looking trail from the bed to the bathroom, which I nearly slipped on.

Oh, a side note, the poop I left in the toilet while in labor (have you read my birth story yet?), was still there after I had Leyna and I saw Scott silently slink over to the bathroom and flush it. I think it was really bothering him that it was still sitting there, in all it’s nasty germiness. What a gentleman.

I was really nervous about my first pee. I sat on the toilet, again in front of the whole room, and wished with all my might that I would pee. Y’all, that catheter I had to have after Kendall was the WORST part about childbirth last time. I was more afraid of that than pushing. And as the urine started to trickle out, I shouted from my throne to every soul in the room, “I’M PEEING!! YES!! I’M PEEING!” I was met by many congratulations and my nurse even made a call up to my recovery nurse to share the good news. I don’t think anyone was looking forward to the catheter possibility.

By the time I got to my room to recover, I was, honestly, feeling pretty good. In fact, Scott and I sat there and looked at each other like, “that was way too easy.”

And then… the cramps started.

Cramps as painful as the most painful menstrual cramps that once sent me to the ER and many times sent me home early from work. Maybe worse. Definitely worse than the cramps I experienced last time as I breastfed Kendall (they come when you’re breastfeeding because it makes your uterus contract… so I’m told).  Cramps so bad I hunched over and cried many times, all while trying to perfect my newborn’s latch.

The good news is I was was given a lovely cocktail of narcotics to dull the pain, which I dutifully took each time I was up for another dose. This girl may push babies out with no pain meds, but I sure as hell want them after I deliver.

We came home 24 hours after having Leyna, and I was all kinds of hormonal and crazy by then. As we pulled up to the house, I saw the neighbor kids running amok across our yard. I could see them peering into the Jeep. I KNEW they were going to pounce on us and ask to see the baby the minute we opened the doors.

“Your mission is to keep those punk-ass kids AWAY from me and AWAY from my baby. I’m not kidding, Scott. I’m going to kick them in the teeth. Do NOT let them near me. Do NOT let them talk to me, and so help me, DO NOT LET THEM TOUCH MY BABY.”

I think it took a good week for my hormones to level off.

In the meantime, just as I thought breastfeeding was going really well this time around (minus the standard nipple pain that comes from a Hoover attached to tender breasts for 20 out of 24 hours suddenly), Leyna suddenly decided to absolutely refuse to latch on my bitch-ass, giant, malformed left nipple. Tears fell from my eyes and landed on her sweet little head as I struggled for up to 30 minutes to just get her to latch. Just PLEASE LATCH. Oh God, I did NOT want to have latch issues. We battled for 48 hours and I’m happy to report I WON. I mean, the conditions do have to be just so. She has to be positioned just right. The boob can’t be too full or too empty. I have to squeeze it and start it for her. She doesn’t want to work for it at all, but I finally got her to latch and we’ve been good to go ever since.

The upside to all of this is my nipples look nothing like they did with Kendall this far out. No scabs. No blood. No chunks of flesh falling off. Okay, so she’s picky, but at least she’s kind. So breastfeeding is definitely a win this time around.

And then the rash returned. Oh yes, remember my lovely crotch rot? Just a few days out of the hospital and it erupted all over my butt, thighs and everything in between. AGAIN.

Confession- Like an IDIOT, I didn’t stock up on pads before I went into labor. I came home with the hospital pads, and they ran out sooner than I expected… in the middle of the night. What did I have left? Oh, only the ALWAYS PADS OF EVIL AND DOOM from my last postpartum experience that gave me contact dermatitis. But I didn’t think it would be that  big of a deal. I would only need to wear one for a few hours before we could get out to the store.

Flash forward to the end of the day, and I’ve got another raging, itching, burning, red, bumpy rash all over the parts I wish not to be touched. My name is Jill, and I’m a dumbass.

Or am I… because shortly after, after I quickly switched to Kotex pads, continuing for many, many days after that, I began to see this rash spread up my stomach, inside my stretch marks, and down my legs, behind my knees and even on my calves. Last time it didn’t spread, that I can remember. Contact dermatitis is just supposed to erupt where the skin actually comes in contact with the irritant. Those pads may have been big, but they certainly didn’t touch my knees.

I consulted Dr. Twitter and Dr. Google (since it was a weekend and I couldn’t consult my midwife until Monday), and the diagnosis ranged anywhere from PUPPPS to an allergy to my husband’s DNA in the placenta and amniotic fluid. <<< No, really. That was a for real issue.

I never found out what caused the rash this time around. My midwife called in a steroid pack for me that Monday after I delivered and it seemed to clear up about 95% of the rash within a few days. Next time, I’m just going to assume this is going to happen to me and be on the lookout.

It’s 2 weeks out now, and I *think* the worst has passed. All in all, it hasn’t been that bad this time around, at least when I compare it to recovery with Kendall. I was up walking around much faster this time, the weight seems to be coming off faster this time, breastfeeding is 80% less painful.

So doesn’t that give you all hope?! Hopefully, it at least doesn’t scare you nearly as much as my 1st Rest of The Story did.

Kendall is 2 1/3 and Leyna is 2 weeks.

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Filed Under: Round 2 |Tagged With: , , , |41 Comments

Sitting On The Breastfeeding Fence

Posted by on April 7, 2010 85 Comments

While I was busy yesterday urging others to fight hate and injustice, two of my best blogosphere friends Gina (thefeministbreeder.com) and Mandy (harpershappenings.com) were making waves on the subject of breastfeeding.

It seems I’ve always been in this in-between classification of “mom”. On the one hand, I can come off pretty crunchy. I cloth diaper, have been known to wear my baby, made all his baby food and breastfed for 13 months. On the other hand, I Ferberized, can’t stand co-sleeping (for us, not judging others who can make it work), and lost all desire to practice extended breastfeeding by the time Kendall turned a year old because I just wanted/needed my body back.

And really, when it comes to breastfeeding I always seem to find myself in a weird spot, too. I believe in the good that comes from breastfeeding, and I believe this country short changes women by not supporting them enough (lack of maternity leave, formula samples showing up in your mailbox multiple times a month, a culture that looks upon breastfeeding as “gross” and something to hide). I believe we should be able to freely nurse in public without or with a cover (and I don’t think a woman who *chooses* to wear a cover should have to worry about what sort of political message she’s sending by CHOOSING to cover up for her own comfort) and not be met with the glares of strangers or security guards at Target telling us we have to leave. I wish every mom would really give breastfeeding some serious thought before deciding if it will work for her or not, and that she could have the education, resources and support going into it to help her be successful. That she would know that it is NOT EASY. Not for many, at least… certainly not at first. You are not failing if it’s hard or if it hurts.

And because of how I feel about breastfeeding, I did want to shout “Right on!” when I read parts of Gina’s post yesterday “When It Comes to Breastfeeding, We Can’t Handle The Truth”. She hit on so many of the things I feel strongly about, including this:

Is it easy to make this milk?  No, not always — but neither was bringing that baby into the world and your body did a fine job of that.  Think about that.  Think hard. Your body created an entire human being inside from nothing more than the joining of two single cells.  Your body is a miracle worker. So what leads you to believe that, after creating a whole person with organs and tissue and a beating heart, that your body would call it quits when it came time to feeding this thing?

I was really open about how hard and painful breastfeeding was for me in the beginning. Make no mistake, it was not fun. I cried and I cussed and I threw tubes of lanolin across the room nearly every time Kendall latched for the first 8 weeks. In an attempt to give my nipples and myself a break, I tried to pump. It was utterly (haha) depressing how little milk my enormously engorged boobs were able to produce after 30 minutes of pumping. And when the two back to back mastitis infections that followed seemed to come each time after I pumped, I ditched the damn thing for a while and figured the temporary pain of breastfeeding was better than a constant fight with mastitis.

But here’s the thing I always remind myself – Even though it was NOT easy for me, I had such a tremendous support system surrounding me. My #1 champion was my husband, and my mom was a close second. I recall calling Scott at work one sleep deprived night, screaming at him, bawling my eyes out (I just came down with my 2nd round of mastitis), telling him, “I’m done! I quit!” and eyeing the sample cans of formula that I’d received in the mail. He listened to me cry, to my frustrations, he soothed me and calmed me and validated me. And then he encouraged me. He praised me for all my hard work so far, and he talked me down from a cliff of desperation. I was SO LUCKY to have that support from him.

My inability to pump continued, and after I got a 3rd, yes THIRD, round of mastitis after pumping, and after fighting to the point of frustrated tears to get Kendall to take a bottle, which he absolutely refused, I realized that I would just have to exclusively nurse him from the breast. I would have to be there for every single feeding. There was no way around it. Honestly? I didn’t mind because after 8 weeks that’s when breastfeeding became wonderful for us… for me. That’s when I was SO GLAD I stuck it out. That’s also when I thanked my lucky stars I was able to stay home with him for the next year. I’ve always said that I if  had to go back to work after having Kendall, I’m really, really not so sure breastfeeding would have worked out for us for very long.

And I know it’s not all about luck, because as I’ve already stated, I had to work HARD for it. But, I didn’t go through every challenge a breastfeeding mom has ever faced. My son latched (even if like a wolverine) and he ate and ate and ate, and he gained weight. Boy, did he gain weight! And I never felt like I was failing at feeding him.

So, while part of me was really cheering Gina on for many of the points she was making, another part of me was thinking about my friend Mandy and her blog post “Let’s Just Feed Them, Shall We?”

I read Mandy’s story of how she really struggled with breastfeeding, how she really, really TRIED. And my heart broke for her when I read this:

MONTHS spent riddled with guilt every time i fed her a bottle. every time i saw another mother breastfeeding. i would hide the formula under things in my cart. feel awful when the checker would scan it. tell myself i was costing our family money because of my inability to make milk.

I champion for breastfeeding rights when I can. I’m proud of breastfeeding Kendall for 13 months, and I really feel like so many women in this country aren’t receiving the right amount of information and support when it comes to breastfeeding. But, at the same time, I know there ARE women who can’t make it work no matter how hard they try, for many valid reasons, and I really can’t fault them for choosing their own sanity over a long, hard battle that they still may not end up winning. I also respect that there are women who ARE educated on the benefits of breastfeeding and they still make the choice to formula feed, again, for many valid reasons.

I find it so hard to walk the line sometimes between supporting breastfeeding and possibly making formula feeding moms feel guilty. Catherine at Her Bad Mother wrote a great post called “Shame And The Mom: A Boob Story” in which she said something that resonates with me still:

But we should be careful, should we not, that when we fight the shaming of nursing mothers, we don’t, in the process, shame mothers who don’t nurse? How do we do that? How do we make this, always, about choice, without giving up ground in promoting the nursing choice…

I’ve been trying to answer that question for myself ever since.

I know that a large part of the breastfeeding issue is the lack of education to allow moms to make an informed choice about breastfeeding, but there are moms who are informed and who have tried and choose to not do it… for many valid reasons.

And while I’m frustrated with the companies getting in the way of the breastfeeding mom, the cultural beliefs that stifle the breastfeeding mom, and many other barricades that make it harder than it should be on the breastfeeding mom, I’m certainly not meaning to guilt the formula feeding mom.

Please know, I’m not at all trying to pit these two inspirational bloggers against each other by writing this, because I think they both come at this issue from different sides, with different reasons, and I think they do a DAMN good job at it. I think they make a difference and lend valuable voices to a discussion that is important. I am proud to call them friends and celebrate their points of view and personal experiences, and I hope they both still love and respect me for the fence-sitter I am.

Kendall is 23 months old.

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Filed Under: Headed to Toddlerhood |Tagged With: , , , |85 Comments

Even the Miracle Bra can’t help me

Posted by on November 5, 2009 16 Comments

A lot of blog posts come to me in the shower. This one was literally inspired by  the view looking down in the shower today. It is a sad state of affairs between my neck and my belly button, people. Sad like two deflated balloons the day after a birthday party. Sad like an empty, dusty house that used to be home to a couple rock stars. Sad like the show Trash Can of Skin that I once saw on the Discovery Channel. Sad.

The girls were at their peak of disparity by the time I fully weaned Kendall, looking very much like fried eggs and everything like I was afraid they would become. I was happy to see over the summer that they started to get a little mass back in them, a little more fluff. I was hopeful they would continue to….uh… puff back up as time went by, but I think it’s safe to say we’ve reached a stand still. They may not resemble fried eggs so much anymore, but they aren’t the fun bags they used to be either. They are smaller and… shiftier (?) than they were in their glory days. It’s kind of like they just exploded, got really fat, did a lot of yo yo dieting, and then had gastric bypass. The loose skin, the stretchmarks… it’s all very “Trash Can of Skin”-ish.

I saw a commercial today for a “Bra Makeover” at a nearby mall. I think I shall save up and seek out their assistance. Not a single bra of mine fits correctly, and by correctly I mean not a single bra I own works miracles and defies gravity. This commercial looked like it had some that might do just that… for a price.  It’s probably one of those places that will have no bras under $150, but that’s only a fraction of the price of a boob job, so that’s a steal, no? Not that I’m against boob jobs. I just don’t see the point until the baby factory is officially shut down for eternity.  And when that day comes, hopefully not too far in the future, I will get something done. Oh, yes, I will.

I am actually really quite interested in this procedure I heard about in a radio news program last week. I don’t know why it has taken plastic surgeons this long to perfect such a technique. Seems pretty obvious to me that this is a BRILLIANT solution, and had I gone to school to be a plastic surgeon this would have been my Capstone project, my thesis… or whatever. They take fat from your belly and/or thighs and… GET THIS… they fill your boobs up with it. Wham, BAM, thank you surgeon! You get a boob job and a flatter stomach all at the same time. It’s genius.

Really, the point of this post is the old gals ain’t what they used to be, I’m sorry to report. And even though I saw this coming two years ago, I’m still saddened by it. I’m still mourning their loss.

::pours a 40 out for my once awesome rack::

Kendall is 18 months and 3 days old (Oh, and at his 18 month appointment today, he showed off his awesome new trick – bashing his head against the wall super hard on purpose. Awesome. Scared the shit out of the nurse.)

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Filed Under: Headed to Toddlerhood |Tagged With: , , , , |16 Comments
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