Well, I’m back. So sorry to have abandoned you all last week. Blogging from hotels just never seems to work out for me.  But, I vow to be more productive this week!

Memos From Mommy this week is brought to you by a fabulous gal by the name of Maureen Lipinski and her new book, A Bump in the Road. Maureen and I struck up a little internet friendship not too long ago and have come to realize we have many things in common.  For example, she is really pretty, cool, and ridiculously funny ; ) So I KNEW you all would love to hear about the newest baby she just birthed, her very first novel.

 

Sometimes, the unexpected can be a whole lot of fun…despite the extra thirty pounds.

 After a weekend in Vegas, twenty seven year-old event planner and famous blogger Clare Finnegan finds herself in one place she wasn’t quite ready to be: pregnant. As the stick turns pink, she’s quickly thrown into a world where eating lunchmeat is equivalent to smoking crack and maternity clothes appear to have been assaulted by a Bedazzler.

 In the midst of her slow transition from beer bottles to baby bottles, Clare juggles burgeoning internet stardom, plans Chicago’s biggest black-tie gala and attempts to keep the peace between her two feuding best friends–Julie, an overweight nurse who thinks she’s a cast member of Sex and the City and Reese, a stay-at-home-mom who is quickly discovering why suburban women are the fastest growing category of drug users.

 Not only funny but smart, sassy, and witty, this is a debut novel that will have you laughing for a good nine months.

 

Now, doesn’t that just sound hilarious! I admit, I haven’t read it just yet, but plan on rushing out to my bookstore as soon as I can get it together enough to put on matching clothes, or at least something other than my pajamas to grab a copy. One of you lucky Memos From Mommy entrants will win an autographed copy!  You can  read a little more about Maureen and her book in this Chicago Sun-Times article and on her website, MaureenLipinski.com.  You can also follow her on Twitter @MaureenLipinski.  And if you don’t happen to be the lucky winner, you should still get out and go buy her book!  This would be a GREAT “Hooray! You’re expecting!  Have fun with that!” present.

On to the Memos… same rules.  Anyone can enter, really. I’m pretty liberal. You can write a memo to your child/fetus/pet rock/dog.  In fact, this week I’m choosing to write a passive aggressive letter to the dimwit in the mall play area I ran into last week.  The winner will be chosen at random next Monday by Random.org.  Everyone who enters their own memo in the comment section will be entered to win. Maureen will ship the book anywhere in the world so even my lovely Aussie followers (dude, I seriously get major love from down under…that’s what she said) can enter…and the rest of ya, too.  AND, remember, she’s gonna autograph it and personalize it for the winner.

Dear Fellow Mall Playground Mommy,

I suppose it is your right to choose to feed your child their lunch in the middle of the mall playground where other children can see and NOT at the food court tables located 100 yards to your left.  That’s fine. However, please know that my son is very much like a dog.  It is cruel and unusual punishment to set out your fine fares of crackers, cheese and lunch meat at his eye level, mere feet away from the slide he is attempting to scale, and not expect him to lunge for it. We have not quite mastered the art of restraint at the tender age of 1.  And, really, I can only apologize to your dumb ass so many times as he sprints toward you, mouth agape, fingers clamoring when he sees you preparing your own personal baby buffet on the park bench. So please, stop giving me the side eye and sighing your annoyed sigh, looking at me as if I can’t control my child. I can sigh right back at ya AND roll my eyes.

Signed,
Mother of out of control mini-human garbage disposal

****This giveaway is now closed. The winner is comment #7 (as drawn by Random.org).  Congrats Teresa!*****