The Curse Of The Impossibly Photogenic Husband

Posted by on April 26, 2011 25 Comments

I have a freakishly photogenic husband. The man has no bad angles. He never takes a bad picture.

And it seems like his photogenic genes wear off on the kids in all the pictures they take together. Maybe that’s how we could nearly effortlessly snag this beauty Easter morning. (No, that’s not a purple chick trapped on Leyna’s head with a gigantic headband. Just a bow. Oh yes, I am *that* mom who may be guilty of abusing the large-bow-on-headband-with-a-splash-of-feather-boa. You can laugh, but I need to start creating blackmail material now for future prom dates.)

Or, it could just be that I rock it behind the camera. Let’s just say that. Either way, the pictures of me and the kids (yes, I’m really trying to get more of ME in them these days), always end up looking something like this.

Or this.

And eventually, this. THIS is my “I’m done, turn of that damn camera. SERIOUSLY, this is never happening” face.

That last one, I think, just might make the mantel.

Hope you all had a great weekend!

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Filed Under: Round 2, Terrific Terrorist Twos |Tagged With: , |25 Comments

We Are NUTS. Also? Not Contractors.

Posted by on April 19, 2011 16 Comments

I’ve blogged before about how much I hate our carpeted floors. Between the diabetic human sized Mastiff and the toilet training toddler, this floor has soaked in it’s fair share of urine. We’ve steamed and scrubbed and cleaned, but there is no getting rid of the vile smell. I have actually had meltdowns over the state of our disgusting floors. And the STARK WHITE kitchen tile? Don’t even get me started.

I am sooooo over all of it.

So over it, in fact, that I crazily agreed to letting my husband order 1100 sq. feet of unfinished, utility grade hardwood floors so that he can install them. HIMSELF.

Why hardwood and not laminate?

Because my husband is convinced that hardwood is better for the value of our home, he likes that he can sand and re-finish them if they get scratched, and because people told him he couldn’t.

Why unfinished UTILITY GRADE?

Because our budget is teeny tiny. We can’t afford finished hardwoods, this is basically the only way we can afford any sort of hardwoods throughout this much square footage (the whole house except bathrooms and bedrooms and the laundry room). In fact, this ends up being about as inexpensive as some of the lower end laminates.

The price we pay? OUR SANITY.

I present to your our playroom/office.

That is all the wood we need for our project PLUS the plywood for the subfloor. Oh yes, that’s right. This project isn’t simply putting a wood floor down, sanding and finishing it. It’s pulling up all the carpet and tile and installing a subfloor, too.

We’ve taken on small home renovation projects this last year, and they’ve turned out beautifully. We are finishing a master bath mini-renovation that has cost us less than $600 and makes the place looks completely different (hopefully I can share the result with you all soon- I’m bringing brass back… because I have no choice). The kids’ bath and laundry have new tile. I have faith in my husband’s ability to get it all done right. I do not, however, have faith in it getting done in a timely matter.

The reality, I’m thinking, is that I will be living in a construction zone for a long while with a 3 year old who likes to find ways to make my heart stop every day by making me think he’s going to kill himself, a BABY, 2 dogs, a cat, and an over-worked husband.

WheeeeeEEEEEeeeeee!!! This is going to be so much fun!

Stay tuned to watch me slowly loose my mind.

Kendall is just a couple weeks shy of 3, Leyna is a couple weeks shy of 4 months old, and I’m a couple marbles short.

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Filed Under: Love The Home, Round 2, Terrific Terrorist Twos | |16 Comments

There’s No Denying It

Posted by on April 18, 2011 27 Comments

 

They are definitely related.

Kendall at 4 months old…

Leyna at 3.5 months old….

 

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Filed Under: Round 2, Terrific Terrorist Twos |Tagged With: , , |27 Comments

That’s Me.

Posted by on April 13, 2011 37 Comments

You know that girl without kids who thinks she would be such a better mother than all the mothers she sees?

That was me.

You know that girl who could not, for the life of her, understand how parents couldn’t get their kids to listen to them?

That was me.

You know that mom who has that kid that does the exact opposite of what she says ALL. THE. TIME. and thinks it’s funny?

That’s me.

You know that mom who’s always chasing after her kid, abandoning her screaming infant in a hot car so she can fetch her toddler who’s aimlessly running through a parking lot?

That’s me.

You know that mom who’s always losing her shit in public?

That’s me.

You know that mom who never looks happy because she’s constantly on guard for the next time her toddler decides to disobey her and put himself and/or others in danger?

That’s me.

You know that mom who reads and asks and strategizes and stresses and does every thing she can to figure out just how the hell she is fucking up so bad?

That’s me.

You know that mom who looks at all the other moms with the calm, disciplined, obedient children and beats herself up for not having it all together like they surely must have?

That’s me.

You know that mom who has the kid who thinks it’s appropriate to pull his pants down at the park in front of 20 other people to pee?

That’s me.

Karma’s having a great time getting back at me today.

Kendall is nearly 3, Leyna’s 3 months, and I’m 3 seconds away from locking myself in my room all day.

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Filed Under: Terrific Terrorist Twos | |37 Comments
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