Your blog has helped me see another side to being a mom, that it’s not all baking cupcakes, and sometimes it’s a very dark journey… Thank you for being a real mom, for being perfectly imperfect.

I read those words at the end of a very heartfelt, very raw email a reader sent to me over the weekend, and I cried a little.

This reader, this mother described how alone she felt in her struggles, how disconnected she felt to the moms around her daily. It makes my heart ache.

I think it’s a combination of sadness for her and the loneliness she describes, knowing what that can feel like, and knowing so many other moms feel that way day in and day out… and they’re convinced they’re alone. That those other moms they see don’t feel that way, that those other moms have it all together.

Everyone needs moms, but you know who needs moms the most? Moms.

Moms need moms to put down their armor of perfection and show us their weak spots. We need to know we’re not the only one shaking in our boots under that iron suit, that we’re not the only one nervously walking in a direction that feels as sure as a tightrope over the Grand Canyon.

Instead of pretending we have it all together in front of other moms, we should be open about our struggles. We should TALK ABOUT our weaknesses. We should share our fears. Human bonds are built on human connections and relatability, not fantasy and idolization.

Moms, take off your armor. Smile kindly at one another. Offer grace and support. Know that every mom you meet, no matter how “perfect” she appears, is walking that same shaky tight rope right along with you. Take her hand, tell her it scares you, too. Tell her sometimes you fall. 

Tell her how you get back up.

Perfection is a heavy standard to hold yourself to. Take if off, and I promise the weightlessness of imperfection will be freeing. It’s much easier to walk tight ropes without so much weight on your shoulders, and it’s easier to get back up from a fall when someone is there to take your hand.

But this last Saturday night was special. We got all fancied up with real shoes on and everything, and we met someone I’ve had a photographer crush on for years- Lyndsay from Life In Motion Photography- in downtown Austin for a late night photo session. Just Scott and me.

I saw some of her Love Light sessions last year and adored the way the dark can make a couple’s love shine through. When I saw she had an opening for this last round, I booked right away and told Scott it was a Valentine’s gift to myself. We have no nice, non-pregnant pictures of the two of us together since our wedding.

I wanted some to document this time in our life. The love we have for each other. I want us to look back on them when we’re 80 and cherish them… and I want our children to be able to look back and see that love, even when they were not sleeping through the night and generally driving us a little crazy.

Lyndsay posted a couple teasers yesterday, and I love them! They are very… dramatic. I assure you we weren’t actually making out on the streets of Austin the whole time, and I’m sure there will be some of us cracking up at each other when we get the rest, but she managed to capture a couple very sexy, sweet moments.

We are pretty amazing actors. In that black and white pose on the left we were whispering to each other, “I think I just snotted on your face.” And in the one that my parents probably shouldn’t even see on the right, Scott’s on the other side of my face laughing, not actually giving me a hickey.

So, since this was the first Saturday in…. ever? that we dressed up and ditched the kids to “step out,” I HAVE to link up to my friend Mandy at The Haps to document it. She hosts Stepping Out Saturday every week where lovely ladies all over the web link up and share what they wore when they stepped out. Since mine is always ” yoga pants, no bra, stained college t-shirt” I see no point. But this time! Here’s what we wore:

Me: strapless teal dress-J. Crew (on uber clearance), royal purple cardigan-J. Crew (again, fire sale clearance), NO BRA (some things never change), vintage looking peep-toe 2.5 inch pumps (I’ve had them so long I have no clue where they’re from), hair and makeup by Katie from Modern Muse Makeup

Scott: dark wash jean-Banana Republic, black leather shoes-DSW, gray v-neck sweater-Express, black under shirt- Calvin Klein

Check out what Mandy and the rest of the lovely ladies wore when they stepped out by checking out the link-up here.

We’ve all seen the super cute newborn photos of baby with her head in her hands or of baby hanging from a tree branch or in an awesome wood basket. What a lot of parents and even new photographers, might not know is that these images are composites. A composite is when you take two, or more, images and combine them very carefully in photoshop in order to create the look that the photographer wanted as an end result. Safety during newborn sessions is becoming a rather hot topic at the moment and when you hire a photographer to help you capture your sweet new baby please be sure that they are taking all the safety precautions to ensure that your baby, and their well-being, are top priority.

This is an example of a composite image is of just the prop set up. The second shot is of the prop set up alone. The first is of baby in the large wooden basket with my assistant helping to brace his head even though it was mainly resting on the edge of the basket (and blanket). She was in constant contact with him at all times while he was in the basket.

 

 

 

 

Do’s…

Don’ts

I had a plan all along to get a picture of Leyna walking, beginning her journey into toddlerhood.

The problem? Now that she’s walking, she’s much harder to photograph, especially since she takes off for my camera every time she sees it (and my phone, and my wallet, and my credit cards).

I set her in the beautiful morning light of our living room this morning for one last attempt, and yet again, she wouldn’t cooperate and was more interested in French kissing my camera lens (how cute are open mouth baby kisses?). I said no, took the camera away, and an epic tantrum ensued. The was no soothing her, no distracting, she banged her head, hands and feet against the floor.

Sooo…. as I was saying… The Way I See New Beginnings? How’s this for the beginning of toddlerhood? A pretty good description, I think.

This was processed with Emma Wood Photography’s Chocolate Drama B&W preset for Lightroom. I freaking LOVE it. I’m a little obsessed with it, actually, and she has it on her blog as a FREE download. I mean, how awesome is that? Seriously, if you have Lightroom, you should head over and download it. Be sure to tell her thank you and that I sent you!

Now I’m passing the link torch onto Clickin’ Mom Amanda. Head over to see how she views new beginnings!

Let’s remedy this right now.

Huge thanks to:

Olive Bungalow - She’s back with an even bigger ad, even more support for me, and I just when I think I can’t adore her jewelry any more, she comes out with all this fabulous new stuff. Seriously, THIS is the stuff you want to ask for for Valentines Day. I love her and her pretty jewelry.

Passionfruit Ads- The shopping cart for your blog ads. I can’t wait until it officially launches because, obviously, I need help with the admin side of this whole selling ads gig.

Courtina- Mama Extraordinaire - Love this lovely blog of lovely pictures and sweet babies. Courtney continues to inspire me to be a better, more creative photographer, and I love how she’s capturing the little moments with her family.

Daily Mom Report - “Headlines for moms who want to go beyond the front page.” It’s chock full o’ news that matters to moms (and dads!) in the form of curated links from across the web.

Pea Wee Baby - Home to the SwaddleBuddy Sack – a sleeping sack for babies that guarantees to keep your baby swaddled.  Looks promising to me!

CLICK! How To Take Gorgeous Photos Of Your Kids- an ebook from the lovely and amazingly talented Rachel Devine. I can speak from experience that Rachel is a wonderful teacher (I took her Beyond Snapshots course last summer).

For Two Fitness - Selling fashionable, funny and functional maternity fitness wear. I’m a little in love with these maternity workout pants. I mean… I would even wear them NOT pregnant… on Thanksgiving.

BlogMe by Focht Creative- You know all those photo collages I’ve been posting on here lately? Made with this! And I love, love, love it. It makes photo heavy posts go up 10x faster, and you don’t need Photoshop to use it.

Kin Community - An awesome YouTube channel full of fashion, cooking and home decor tips. It’s free! It’s on demand! Cable-free me loves it.

Hopper’s Baby Haven- Warning! You will be mesmerized by the cute baby on the homepage. He will say, “Come! Buy all the sweet little things here!” with his charming eyes. If you get entranced, I recommend you check out The Hip Mom’s Guide To Modern Cloth Diapers, a book by Kelly Wels.

Livi Stitches Handmade Sewing Patterns- She swears that each pattern is designed with the beginning sewer in mind, which makes me even more tempted to find the time to make these pants for Leyna.  

How To Be A Dad Just a couple awesomely hilarious dudes who make me laugh daily. They were nominated for a Bloggie! So give them a vote if they make you laugh, too.

Speaking of How To Be A Dad, I was honored to be a part of a Spreecast with Charlie from H2BAD, hosted by Janice from 5 Minutes For Mom last week about how to get your blog to go viral. Charlie and I spill some trade secrets, so if you’re interested and didn’t get to see it live, you can watch it here:

Want to see your blog or business featured in a sponsor shout out and in my sidebar? Ad space is available for February!

I hired Charlotte from The Paper Cupcake to design the invitations (which featured Leyna’s cake smash pictures that we took on her actual birthday, December 28th) and all the printables for the party. She really helped me set the tone from the beginning.

We had the party at our house, which made for some chaos the morning of and a huge mess to clean up after, but it actually wasn’t that bad having it here.

This front door sign was made with this wooden plaque I ordered from Etsy. I painted it with chalkboard paint and taped ribbon on to the back. Then my sister prettied it up with some chalk markers. Super easy, and now I can just take off the ribbon, wipe off the chalk and repurpose it.

The cupcake stand is one I’ve repurposed since I made it nearly 3 years ago for Kendall’s 1st birthday party. The wreath above the fireplace is our Christmas felt pomp wreath that I added rainbow ribbon to. The picture collage on the fireplace is made from a canvas that’s painted with chalkboard paint. The pictures are stuck on with adhesive photo corners, and we used chalk markers to draw snowflakes on it.

The giant Polaroid photo booth was a huge hit! The kids loved playing with all the funky accessories, and I think even the adults had a good time pretending to bundle up (even though it was nearly 60 outside and I had the AC blasting).

I got my inspiration for this after seeing a pin from this blog, but had no idea how they made the frame. With the help from some reader suggestions, I wound up getting a giant piece of foam insulation from Home Depot for $9, had Scott cut it with a box cutter, and we painted it white. The dimensions were 3.5 feet wide x 4.25 feet long. There is a .2 foot border on each side, a .25 foot border on top, and a .875 foot border on bottom.

Scott hung it from our ceiling with fishing line, a few feet away from the yellow chevron fabric backdrop I got at Hancock Fabrics.

For favors, the kids got Snow Day Survival Kits full of popcorn, hot chocolate, crayons, stickers and notepads. (The babies got packs of Boogie Wipes for those inevitable runny noses.)

We also handed out these beautiful and sooooo delicious rainbow snowflake sugar cookies, courtesy of Cookies By Becky . I don’t know how she got them to look so perfectly frosted and managed to ship them without a single one breaking, but I looked like a regular ol’ Martha Stewart handing them out… until I admitted I had nothing to do with their creation.

The party was 2 hours of total fun, and I’m so happy we had it here… even if it did take a whole day to clean up after it. OH! One more thing. I don’t have a picture of this, but we made the most kick-ass white hot chocolate and let the adults add rum to their cups. Magically delicious, y’all.

1.75 gallons milk
2 bags white chocolate chips
Melt in stock pot on the stove slowly, pour into coffee urn or keep on low on the stove to keep warm.
Optional- top with rum and/or whipped cream.
Serves- a shitton of people

(We have a ton left over, so we froze it in muffin tins and then put the cubes in freezer bags. Now we can pull a few out, pop them in the microwave and enjoy.)

That’s it! Thanks for stopping by to have a look. As much fun as I had doing this party for Leyna, I’m really thinking we might do a birthday outing over a party for Kendall’s 4th in May (OMG MY BABY IS GOING TO BE FOUR).

Becky is going to give a lucky one of you 2 dozen cookies, too! All you have to do is comment telling me your favorite design she has listed in her Etsy shop right now (though you’re not limited to those if you order from her since she does custom designs, too). U.S. shipping addresses only, please. I’ll draw the winner with Random.org in about a week.

We’re having it at our house because, why not? Who DOESN’T want 20 something people in their not-exactly-large house that’s been in a constant state of renovation for the last year and isn’t quite completely finished?

“We’ll save money this way,” I told Scott.

Then I proceeded to order half of Etsy and Amazon, and have a shopping list for 2 baskets full of food at Sams Club.

“Just relax. It’s not a big deal. She won’t remember it anyway,” people tell me. Uhm, this party? Not really for the birthday girl so much. I only have 2, maybe 3 years to have any say whatsoever in how this goes down, before she’s begging for Chuck E Cheese and licensed characters. Let’s call it like it is. It’s for me.

I‘m bracing myself for Disney Princesses, but let me be clear- I will CUT anyone who introduces her to Barbie. Give her a Bratz doll? Prepare to die.

Assuming we pull it all off AND I managed to take pictures while running the show, I’ll show it all off to you on Monday. But now, I must go. CLEAN! CRAFT! CLEAN! CRAFT! SPEND MORE MONEY!!!

I think I should stretch first.

Leyna is 13 months old, and we’re having her party one month late since December 28th is sort of a rotten day for a party.

“Oh, you know, those McMansions in the suburbs,” she joked with that undertone of distaste that I distinctly remember having myself not too many years ago…

Ugh. The tragedy of having to move to the “cookie cutter” homes in the expansive suburbs. What a sorry and uncultured existence those people with children must lead. They can’t even walk to a coffee shop, they’re surrounded by strip malls, and those poor people must always be in their cars since they’re so far away from anything fun. ~ Me, Age 25

Flash forward five years…

“Hey, those McMansions in the suburbs aren’t that bad!” I teased.

“I’m too old to care about living anywhere ‘trendy’ or close to the city. They have underperforming school districts, and we can’t afford private school, ESPECIALLY with how much a house half the size of my ‘McMansion’ costs there. And even then, that house would be, like 50 years old and probably have gold velvet wallpaper. I will take my ‘cookie cutter’ brick home on a quiet street, my HOA fees, and my strip malls. Plus, I don’t have to drive more than 10 minutes to get anywhere. Target is only 5 minutes from here, and that’s all I need,” I continued.

And then I realized I’ve fully become immersed in Suburban Culture. I am now one of them. Oh, how my 25 year old self weeps.

Oh, how my 30 year old self doesn’t care.

Life in the suburbs is good. We are blessed to live in a spacious, safe, beautiful home. We may not be able to walk to a coffee shop, but we can walk to the elementary school (an excellent one) that Kendall will attend (too soon!), a pool and 3 parks. They are luxuries I try hard not to take for granted.

Would I love to live in a downtown loft and take public transportation everywhere? Sure! Except, well, I’m not even sure that’s a reality in Dallas, and that’s just not the most practical situation for a family with young children and large dogs. Not to say people don’t do it, and don’t love it, but *for us* it’s not worth the trouble and the expense.

Scott and I often talk about what we’ll do when the kids all move out. How we’ll sell half our stuff and move into that hip downtown loft we dreamed of before we had kids. We’ll get our fun, urban existence eventually, but we’re okay with giving it up for now.

Basically, I’m living my worst nightmare from my 20s. I fought it hard, but it turns out kids really do change you and the way you live. I can think of worse fates than moving into a “boring McMansion in the cookie cutter burbs.”

Now, I realize not everyone with kids feels this way about the ‘burbs. What about you? Have you changed your views on how you live since having kids?

Kendall is 3 years and nearly 9 months and Leyna is 13 months old