I know people are like, “Write more about your pregnancy!” But I really don’t have anything witty or insightful to put here. I just. I hate it. I hate being pregnant. And that’s an annoying thing for people to hear over and over and over and over again. Right? It is.
I’m nearly 15 weeks. The first trimester is gone. The nausea is also mostly gone. BUT! The reflux is coming in strong, and now? AND NOW THE HEADACHES ARE HERE.
And I’m still so emotionally conflicted about food.
I spent most of the day in bed (with the kids tearing apart my room while I shushed them), I drank water, I took Tylenol, nothing has helped this headache.
I’m watching HGTV nonstop, and I saw an Irish couple on a show, and they made me think of fish n’ chips- in that I remembered an Irish pub I went to in Boston and it had fish n’ chips. And then I had to have fish n’ chips, but we don’t have any place nearby that serves it. So I went to a catfish place and got fried fillets and fries. And then I quietly cried to myself at a table all alone because it wasn’t close. Not remotely close to what I wanted. (I eat out alone often now because fuck bringing my family with me on these quests for food that makes me hate life less.)
This longing for fried fish and malted vinegar comes after a week of nothing but salads. I went to Kroger last week and dropped way too much on fresh produce, raw seeds & nuts, gourmet vinegars, and pickled veggies. I had a goat cheese, beet, & mandarin orange salad for lunch today, and it was so disappointing that I washed it down with half a bag of cool ranch Doritos.
There is no satisfaction. There has been no food I haven’t regretted moments later. The last two months have been nothing but disappointing attempts to feed myself.
Also, it is summer, and it is hot, and that’s really unpleasant.
Also unpleasant is the light of this laptop as I type with a headache. So the end.
- 110Shares
9 comments
That’s so funny because with my 1st pregnancy I was either nauseous or craving something ridiculous. I saw a Long John Silver’s commercial and it looked so delicious even though I hadn’t eaten at a Long John Silver’s in… don’t even remember, but I had to have some fried fish. When I got it, it was so utterly disappointing…
Anything that I normally would have wanted sounded gross and I craved food that I wouldn’t normally want. Also mac & cheese and buttered tortillas were my go to food for sustenance.
You know? I think I could go for some mac & cheese today. 🙂
I’m here with you feeling your pain, 16 weeks tomorrow, I HATE PREGNANCY TOO. Although it’s never been a secret! Fish and chips without beer is just criminal. ?
Does it help to know you’re not alone? I can relate to just about everything in this post… Except I am 30 weeks pregnant. So, I’ve got the reflux, the headaches (mine come with auras so I get this really weird light-headed feeling and my fingers and tongue fall asleep), the food issues, the heat aversion PLUS I’m a whale! So there!:)
Oh my god. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post. I’m almost 13 weeks into my first pregnancy and I hate it. This kid may be an only child because I don’t think I can do this again. I love food and being pregnant has totally wrecked food for me. The cravings followed by utter disappointment when the food that was supposed to hit the spot is a total flop, or worse, gag-inducing….sigh. And food that actually tastes okay leads to painful gas, reflux/heartburn, and just feeling gross after. I dread eating now–it never seems to turn out well. I’ve just started to get headaches which seem to be triggered by electronics do has made work and leisure (like tv and surfing on my phone) literally painful. I toss and turn at night because my abdomen is sore from gas, stretching ligaments, etc. How women have more than one child is a mystery to me! I’m a second-born and I practically bow down in awe every time I see my mom–she went through this once and then went back for more pain?? The only good part about my pregnancy so far has been seeing my little jellybean on the ultrasound–if only I could have one of machines at home and take a peak every time I feel like crying…sigh. Just under 6 more months to go.
Try a pub/brewery for good fish and chips.
I LOVE your blogs! This post itself is very liberating for someone to openly admit they hate pregnancy! I feel so blessed, and I love feeling my baby kick and move but overall I hate pregnancy! I’m miserable everyday and feel like it is never going to end. I thought I was the only one that felt this way!
BTW I think we must be due around the same date. I’m due December 21 with a boy….
I also want to say thank you for the honestly in these posts. I am preggers with my first (and thinking my only even though every one else seems to have an opinion about that). I feel like crap, I feel ugly and chubby and I’m barely showing (almost 16 weeks). I don’t feel ‘hungry’, I just feel like shit and then I know I either need to eat or, excuse the honesty, but poop. I agree with everything all you ladies are saying and I can’t wait for this to be over. I’m afraid this means I”m already not cut out for being a mom. So many scary feelings! Please keep the honesty coming, it means a lot from moms who have done all of this before and help me feel like I”m not going insane or making a huge mistake!