There was a time, just yesterday really, when I thought my kids were the only ones listening to the same song OVER AND OVER AGAIN on YouTube. I thought they found an obscure, dark hole and got stuck there. I thought the only way for them to get out was to listen to the “Finger Family” song on repeat for hours.

The YouTube Kids app made it’s way into our lives innocently enough. The giant surprise eggs and the Kinder eggs, the blind box openings, the Play Doh eggs and the toy reviews- was it quality kids programming? No. Did it make my kids want to hide all their toys in giant balls of Play Doh? There is that. But, did it keep my toddler’s butt on the couch for 15 minutes while I showered? Hell yeah.

Quickly, though, it became nothing but a string of videos singing the same song-

It’s the “Finger Family” song. Benign at first, I guess, but by the 487th time it makes me want to throw things. Oh, but it’s not that my children are listening to the SAME video 487 times.

No. There are probably 487 versions of THIS SONG (definitely probably more, actually). My kids didn’t get lost in an obscure, dark hole. These fucking Finger Families are a vast wasteland of the YouTube Kids landscape. It’s not just one channel producing this ONE SONG.

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There are Play Doh finger families-

And candy finger families-

And actual walking fingers.. or hot dogs?

And this ENTIRE CHANNEL is nothing but Finger Family songs with cake pops. <<< DID I JUST TYPE THAT SENTENCE?

You when you think maybe your kid is just weirdly obsessed with something and he’s strange, and you sheepishly ask a friend about it, and then they are like “OMG WHAT MY KID TOO OMG YES THANK YOU!”?

That is exactly what happened on my FB page yesterday. 

I truly thought I’d ask about this Finger Family song and a couple people would be like, yeah, I’ve heard that dumb song, too. And then the typical few would chime in about how they’ve never heard it because they don’t let their kids watch YouTube or breathe air that’s tainted with wifi or eat hot dogs.

Within seconds people were like

FamilyFingerInsanity

Hundreds of comments within an hour, finally talking about this out in the open and recognizing that our kids aren’t alone and weirdly obsessed with this one random song as much as they are being indoctrinated into some sort of Finger Family cult right under our very noses…. as we get other stuff done while they are watching YouTube Kids.

Listen. If your kid is walking around singing “Mommy finger, mommy finger, where are you? Here I am, Here I am, How do you do?” NOW YOU KNOW they are part of the epidemic affecting our children and not simply repeating some random song they found in an obscure place.

I’m just here to educate you.

9 thoughts on “This Family Finger Song Is An Epidemic”

  1. Oh my gosh, I just listened to the first 5 seconds and the “beat” made me want to throw my computer. Note to self, don’t let toddler ever discover youtube….

  2. I think it’s hilarious that the “playdoh finger family” that’s supposed to teach colors – has the colors wrong.

  3. RIGHT??? Oh my God, first it was the Disney Toy Whisperer, the play-doh eggs and the Finger Family song!! How do these mystery people know how to talk to our kids??

  4. Thank you for bringing awareness to the finger family world and the havoc it can wreak on your life. Just a warning: finger family videos are on Roku also so if your child discovers this you are in big trouble and doomed to a never ending barrage of begging for “here I am, here I am” every time you are home. Another tip: avoid Sesame Street GO on Roku, especially “Elmo’s Got the Moves” it seems to have the same psychological effect, you will be singing Elmo’s Got the moves in your sleep.

  5. The finger families often use licensed characters that aren’t appropriate for toddlers, like characters from Overwatch (a game), Rick and Morty (an adult cartoon) and Suicide Squad. They also have Donald Trump in a lot of them as well, not sure why.

  6. Wow — I thought my daughter was the only one watching the “same” video hundreds of times. It did its job well enough at first. Got the groceries out of the car, made the ride to the doctor pleasant, got me into the bathroom, etc. But this thing is now driving me batty. I think it’s bad for a child to watch something repetitively. That’s how adults learn. Children need diversity to learn.

    Apparently you can’t ban videos or channels on YouTube without a browser plugin. You can block videos on Kids YouTube, but blocking one video is like killing an ant if you want to destroy the anthill. It just isn’t feasible.

    Sadly, it’s not in YouTube’s interest to ban these videos since they generate a lot of clicks and watches. I’m not sure what to do about this scourge.

  7. I’m from the future and came just to say:
    I guess you all should take a look on Elsagate. A little google in it then, yea

    Stop giving your smartphones for your kids to watch videos in Youtube. Please. This can be very damaging.

  8. Some of the Finger Family videos are actually quite dark so do keep an eye on what your kids are watching. It’s a song we have all become rather familiar with in this household! My kids favourites are Katie Cutie, Fiona Felt (lovely backgrounds!) and Bounce Patrol, the live action stuff tends to be more suitable, its the 3D animated videos that concern me.

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