Things Toddlers Don’t Understand

1. Why do the bananas break? WHY?!

Things Toddlers Don't Understand |

2. How to sit on mom’s lap and yet also play with a toy on the other side of the room. At the same time. Why isn’t this possible? It should be possible!

3. How to be sick. Why is my head spinny and what is this coming out of my nose? It is making it very hard to climb onto the table. I should run faster and then throw some toys. And then maybe I’ll scream at mom because she should be fixing this. WHY DO I WANT TO LAY DOWN RIGHT NOW, MAKE IT STOP.

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  4. No? No this? No don’t do this? This? I don’t understand. You don’t want me to do this?? No?  

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5. The concept of size and age because why am I not big enough to play swords with the other kids?


Things Toddlers Don't Understand |


6. How coordination and aim work. 

Things Toddlers Don't Understand |

7. Anything in moderation.

Things Toddlers Don't Understand |

8. Why mom can’t contort her Gumby arms while driving down the highway to get the toy I just threw on the floor board for the 4th time. Why is this even an issue? She must be lazy or deaf and either way needs to be screamed at.

9. Gentle.

Things Toddlers Don't Understand |

10. Share?

Things Toddlers Don't Understand |


11. Why mom doesn’t want to hold me all the time. I am so soft and cuddly, am I not? PICK ME UP! Dammit.

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12. Gravity.

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  1. After a million years of reading your blog, you are still the best! #4 is so true and my 4 year old still does this stuff, but I think right now it is to purposely get under my skin 🙂

  2. Courtney Helms on

    So true. #11 happens with my 2yo every night while I’m cooking dinner. Every. Night. #12 just made me go awww. 🙁
    Gravity is rough!

  3. Megan McClain on

    Yesterday my son sobbed because he wanted to eat the fortune cookie with a fork. Also- this one is somehow defying gravity and I’m going grey.

  4. Tara Hamilton Stallings on

    OMG, yes, #10! We call the 2.5 yr old our puppy because she stands next to MY chair at the dinner table and proceeds to eat off of my plate (with her hands) and will tell me what foods she wants a bite of. If I refuse, she moves on to Dad, and last resort, Big Sister. Little Beggar.

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