The Excessive, Ridiculous Bunk Bed

When we decided to put the boys together in Kendall’s room (versus selling this house, buying a new one and trying not to get divorced in the process), we knew we’d have to make every inch count.

I asked Scott to build Kendall a sensible bunk bed without the bottom bunk so it could free up some floor space since we’d be cramming a crib and rocking chair in there.

As I watched him stain and saw the pieces that would become our then 5-year-old’s bed, I thought to myself, “Wow. That looks…. enormous.” But he’s the handyman around here. And I didn’t want to get roped into sanding anything, so I stayed out of his way.

And then, this is what became of that request for a sensible bunk bed.

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It’s 8 feet tall.

EIGHT FEET TALL.Β I live with Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor. This is the same guy who insists on using his drill and finding a stud for anything we hang on the walls. A job is not complete if he hasn’t used a power tool. Drywall and nails are very unreliable, you guys.

He was quite proud of his gigantic structure. I, on the other hand, literally had a panic attack. I have this thing about my kids falling from heights. Like, actual nightmares. I take medication for it. (Only half joking.)

Sure, we can fit a lot under there, and I can nearly stand up, but I had visions of tucking him in at night, talking with him face-to-face as I stood next to his bed. Now I have to hoist myself up the ladder to the mess above. Oh, you can bet this bed never gets made… or the sheets changed.

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Now that it’s been up for a few months, I’m mostly okay with it, though I’m still pressing Scott to take it down and saw at least a foot off of it this summer. As you can see in the pic above, at least there’s a considerable fence around him. He knows not to play around up there. Leyna is absolutely forbidden from playing up there.

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And he knows to watch out for the ceiling fan. But mostly we don’t turn it on. Or dust it.

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It doesn’t really matter because he doesn’t really sleep in it. Lowell wakes 2-3 times a night, and we’re semi-sleep-training him, so Kendall sleeps in our room every night.

Yay for me not worrying about him sleeping in the clouds, but boo for feet in my back.

The good news is we did manage to squeeze the crib and the rocker in there.

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Some of you have requested plans for this monstrosity. I’m pressing Scott to get those done. I’ll be sure he adds the “excessive, ridiculous height” disclaimer to it.

  • Ruth - My irrational mom fear is also “falling from a height”. I have almost gotten to the point where I can go to playgrounds with them, almost.ReplyCancel

    • Jill - Playgrounds are really hard for me, too.ReplyCancel

      • Arnebya - Playgrounds are hard for me, but mostly it’s stairs — them and myself. I need to live in a world of flats (but I’ll be wearing heels. I AM FULL OF PERPLEXING HYPOCRISY).ReplyCancel

  • sam-c - coool! hooray- thanks for posting photos, I was interested in photos. wow- that really is high up! I want to build one too, but it would be similarly high up, so my already really tall 6 year old won’t be bumping his head when he is below. alternatively, he’ll be bumping his head on the ceiling. does Kendall like it? i am with you on the sleep training. except our 11.5 mo. old has taken over our room; it’s really thrown all of us out of whack. while he sleeps through the night, he doesn’t much like to sleep past 4:30 / 5. maybe we should have looked into black out curtains, but for once in my life I am actually looking forward to the days getting shorter again after summer solstice. (I can’t believe I actually wrote that!)ReplyCancel

  • Arnebya - We’re separating the girls’ bunkbed this summer if it’s the last thing we do. Mind you they’re much older than your boys but still. The top bunk is a mocking asshole that I don’t even talk to anymore, let alone look at. If the 13 year old wants her sheets changed (or washed, WHAT) she’d better get tired of the funk herself and get working.

    It’s tall, yes, but damn if it isn’t cute. I tried to keep Z out of his sister’s bed but at 4 and enjoying the AND NOW I’LL JUMP FROM HERE phase, I’m finally saying screw it. Isn’t one of them supposed to break something at some point (thinks of Leyna’s arm, backs away).ReplyCancel

  • Delora - I’m jealous that you have ceilings where you can fit an 8′ bed. Our ceilings are only 8′ tall, so the highest we could go would be about 5′ (not that I could put a loft bed in my son’s room; the one wall long enough for a bed has a high window that’s 56″ long at about the 6′ mark).ReplyCancel

  • JoAnn - This made me laugh so hard because my husband also made and excessive, ridiculous bunk bed for my five-year-old daughter. The first time she climbed the ladder, she fell off and hit her head. For many nights, I was in a state of constant fear that she would fall off that bed!ReplyCancel

  • Lisa - I am just so surprised Scott is okay with – much less built – something like a loft bed. Or is he just a germ-worrier? I can’t remember exactly, but I thought he worried about safety-stuff. I know there are so many safety specs about children’s beds, but I guess he is the type to research them all! I would be too nervous to DIY it.ReplyCancel

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  • Carrien Leith Blue - The joints are beautiful though. Nice work. My son stopped making his bed when he got a ridiculously high top bunk also. But I didn’t have to see it so it was all good.ReplyCancel

    • Jill - Thanks! That compliment will make my husband’s day. And yeah, I don’t care at all if his bed gets made. Out of sight and all that.ReplyCancel

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