For years, since my first baby was old enough to throw tantrums and beg to paint things and cover them in glitter, I have waxed poetic about how glorious the start of kindergarten would be. All day, 5 day a week childcare that will teach him stuff and encourage him to paint FOR FREE, YO. (Give it up for public schools! Woot woot!)
Other parents talked about holding their kids back an extra year, doing home-kindergarten, or completely committing to homeschool, and I just held onto my vision of that fantastic entry into the world of public education. They had very good arguments for why they weren’t sending their child to kindergarten at age 5 (or ever), and I had this:
I mean, why pass THAT up?
Except that our kindergarten reality actually goes a little something like this:
I briefly contemplated home-school after the first week because that’s how hard I got my ass kicked by this new routine. If you know me well, you know that was a whole new level of desperation for me.
Let me be very clear, I am not judging the homeschoolers. Heck, I admire you for your dedication to your children’s education. But I? AM NOT, AND CAN NEVER BECOME A TEACHER. Nope. Never, ever in my life have I ever had a desire to teach anyone. And, oddly, I’m even more averse to being responsible for my own offspring’s education.
All hope is not lost, though. While our life may never look like it did in my fantasy, the reality is becoming… routine? There are more happy smiles from everyone. Kendall (my kindergartener) is managing to learn the rules, even if none of us like them. (No talking most of lunch?! Pretty hard for an outgoing kiddo bursting with energy to follow that one. It would be pretty hard for me, too.)
I’ve tabled my search for alternative education methods, and am slowly adapting to the early wake-ups required to get him to school by 7:20, also known as WHO FUNCTIONS THIS EARLY a.m. I’ve officially sworn off the car line because EFF THAT. We live close enough that I can literally walk to school, retrieve him, and walk home before we would make it through the line (with a screaming infant and irritated toddler in the back seat).
And the car line was one of the things I looked forward to most! Drive by drop off, no bras or teeth brushing required! You know what I really want now? A bus stop. Right in front of my house. Why yes, I WOULD happily place my 5 year old on it every day.
Then if I could just hire some sort of morning-nanny to take on the task of detaching his invisible claws from his bed in his half-awake rage, and ignored all the fundraiser requests, it would almost look like my fantasy.
You may have noticed those amazing illustrations above? I am so excited to introduce Gabbi of My Little Blue Jar as a new guest contributor of sorts. She also happens to be my sister-in-law. She’s super talented, right? I keep trying to tell her this. Feel free to embarrass her by liking her My Little Blue Jar Facebook Page.