Hey, Jill. I have a little memo for you to read in about a year. Around the time when summer is kicking your ass and you could cry just thinking of a day that doesn’t break 95, when you start to envision fall in north Texas and all that comes with it- temps in the mid 80s (bust out the scarves, get excited!!1),  and the return of Cowboys football (meh), please refer back to this.

You’re going to dream of loading up the car, packing the double stroller and a tub of sunscreen, and emptying your bank account to soon head to the Texas State Fair. Because TRADITION and FRIED BUBBLEGUM WRAPPED IN TURKEY ON A STICK.

And it will sound like a lovely way to waste a lot of money. I mean A LOT of money. The children will get to see all the cute farm animals, the auto show is always a blast for the whole family, the photo opps will be ridiculously cute, and, well, let’s not forget the food! You can’t put a price on any of that. MEMORIES. FRIED CANDY BARS COATED IN MASHED POTATOES.

Except…
IMG_6191The kids are unimpressed with the cute farm animals. They see them every time they visit their NaNa. They even get to feed them, and are basically aware at this point that they aren’t so much “cute” as they are a ton of work. Are there any puppies here? What about kittens? Is that baby chicken dead? Why yes, yes it is. Let’s have a circle-of-life talk over a Fletchers Corny Dog.

IMG_6286The photo opportunities only happen as you run crazy with a camera swung around your neck, sweating, trying to avoid bumping into the masses, and begging the kids to sit still for just 2 seconds and  “just LOOK at me!” Oh sure, you may get a few keepers in exchange for your sanity, but it’s possible probable your kids might actually hate you a little by the end of the day. It’s guaranteed your husband will.

IMG_6280It may be “only” 85 degrees, and I know that sounds really cold to you after a summer of 100+ temps, but you won’t fully understand that that’s still hot enough to make everyone miserable, sweaty, cranky, and for that camera to feel like it weighs 20 lbs. You won’t grasp the reality of what 85 degrees actually feels like until you’re there already, sucking down expensive water because the bottles of water you brought with you were sucked dry.

IMG_6201And the little one? He’s going to be a toddling terror next year, Jill. He is going to want to get out and, like, walk places. And then he’s going to fall, possibly in a random pile of horse shit. Remember this, Jill.

IMG_6233

You may say, “But what about the cars! They love the auto show!” And I will tell you please pack everyone up in the car, drive straight past the fair entrance and on to the first auto dealership. Then to another, and even another if that’s not enough new car smell for you.

And the food? Remind yourself that the previous year your then 5 year old ate so much cotton candy he oozed sugar for days, and the moment you presented him with a funnel cake, he cried because WHERE IS THE FROSTING THIS IS NOT CAKE.

You tried to enjoy some award-winning fair food yourself. But, the cost, plus the long lines in the heat made the thought of buying your own FryDaddy and DIYing heart-attacks-on-a-stick sound rational. How hard can it be to coat a PopTart in Nerds and drop it in some bacon grease?

There will be time in the future for the state fair, Jill. Now is not the season in life for it. Wait until the children are old enough to pay for their way with their allowance…or just wait until you have grandchildren. For now, family trips to the state fair are the most expensive way to not enjoy the day together.

Those adorable Texas and “Y’ALL” shirts the kids wore were sent to me by Etsy shop MamacasePrints.

  • 3
    Shares

16 thoughts on “A Memo To Me Re: The State Fair”

  1. OMG so much yes. I should have listened to you when you told me it was an “ordeal” and realized that meant that it would suck, because it surely did. We planned to stay all day and literally were there less than 3 hours because 85* + crowds for the football game + fair crowds = NOPE.

  2. Thats what parents are for 😉 my folks have taken both my kids to the IL state fair along with a visit to Springfield and New Salem. But one at a time and after they were done with 1st grade…. then its a win-win they get the time wih the kid and I get the time with out the kid

  3. I was so thankful for rain on DD’s fair day. She insisted her teacher told her it was her homework to go to the fair.

  4. I love this post. I’ve had FOMO before it was an expression, thinking I needed to take my kid to every festival on the community schedule. this past Sunday we went to a harvest festival. I sprung it on my husband on the way home from the kindergarten soccer game. he said my middle name is ‘festival’. during the festival I decided my middle name is ‘arts n crafts projects Sherpa.’

    bottom line, I need to BOOKMARK this post and read it every time a festival is coming up on the calendar. sometimes they are actually fun, but I don’t need to take my kid to ALL OF THEM.
    THANKS for this post ! brining the reality to all of it.

  5. This is EXACTLY how I feel about the Houston rodeo, and it happens in March, supposedly before it gets stupidly hot. I’ve lived here eight years, and been to the rodeo once. It was enough.

  6. Ahem. Reading this the night before we plan to go to the county fair. With our three children under 5. So re-thinking the whole deal now…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • It’s estimated 2,000 children (some as young as one) have been taken from their parents at our border in the last 6 weeks alone. MANY of these families are asylum seekers and it is not illegal to seek asylum. They left horrific conditions not because they want to break our laws or lose their children but because they want their children to live. Please join me and my friends from all over the political spectrum to oppose this unnecessary and cruel mandate that is traumatizing children and ripping families apart with no clear plan or guarantee for reunification. This is not a Democrat or Republican issue- it’s a HUMAN issue. I can not stay silent about this. My latest blog post has links and a script you can read to your Rep & Senators when you call them. It’s so easy to DO SOMETHING. Check out my FB Live to watch me call my reps. #familiesbelongtogether
  • Danger Baby keeps earning his nickname, insisting on climbing things and running off and generally loving all things that are dangerous to babies. We are in a different city nearly every week these days, and it’s SO important that we know not only where the nearest ER is, but if it’s actually equipped to take care of babies and small children. Did you know that not all are?? I’ve teamed up with @rbabyfoundation to tell you all about their life saving, free app — Find ER Now — that will tell you where the closest ER is to you, and with the .99 cent upgrade, it will tell you  which ones are equipped to treat your littles. I’m so honored to work with them. PLEASE check out my stories for more info, including a link to download the app. #sponsored #rbabyfoundation #findernow
  • AMIRIGHT??
  • Lately Wallace has been jumping right in to everything we’re doing. He wants to watch movies with us, play ball, wrestle, eat Takis 🤣 and everything else. I forgot how much I love this stage. I think maybe it gets more fun the more kids you have. You really can not tell him he’s not a big kid. He’s not having any of that nonsense. (And yeah, he loves him some spicy Takis.) (This is totally one of those pics that looks like they swapped legs!)
  • Naps are awesome though... right? 😴
  • 🤣🤣🤣 I have quite a collection of pix of Scott doing the drop-the-baby-and-run move. #momtographer
  • It's an art form, really.
  • Father’s Day is coming fast! Would love to know what you’re planning for the dads in your life- or if you’re a dad, what would you like? I’m thinking of getting Scott a Nespresso machine.