This Is A New Feeling

When I was pregnant with both Kendall and Leyna, I never really felt that excitement and anticipation leading up to having them. Nope. Mostly I spent the entirety of my pregnancies with them scared out of my freaking mind.

It caused much guilt for me. I felt bad that I wasn’t giddy thinking about those fresh little bundles being placed into my arms. STAY IN. NOT READY. That’s where my head was.

This time around, I’m surprised to feel genuine happiness about this baby’s arrival. I’m looking forward to kicking labor in the ass. This is a very new feeling.


I don’t know what it is, if I’m not remembering being this uncomfortable previously, or if this pregnancy actually is so much worse than the last two. Either way, I AM SO UNCOMFORTABLE. I’m irritable. I’m ragey. I don’t want anyone touching me. At. All.

The aversion to being touched is a big thing right now. Leyna is still a snuggle bug, and it’s all I can do to let her curl up next to me and twirl my hair around her fingers. I’m so touched out by the kids by the end of the day that my annoyance level with Scott merely brushing his feet against me when we sleep makes me want to scream. I’m sure you can imagine all the super fun implications of that scenario.

Yeah… Scott’s ready for this baby to get out of me, too.

The heartburn is out of control, even on 2 doses of Zantac a day and a healthy serving of Tums (and hands full of almonds, and lots of other natural remedies). The insomnia is making me worthless. The Pica is annoying as hell. I’m choking down iron as much as possible, keeping up with my prenatals. Still it persists.

The worst lately has been this feeling of bugs crawling all over my skin, and little twitches through my body, like tiny electric currents, just as I start to get sleepy. I lay in bed at night, scratching, tossing, turning… sometimes crying out of frustration. I wake up choking on my own stomach acid. I never feel refreshed in the mornings, more like hungover.

And I have at least 7.5 weeks left. With my track record of carrying babies 4 days past my due date, I’m looking at at least 8 weeks. OF COURSE I don’t actually want the baby to come out right now. I know the baby needs to bake for a long, long while, and I’m not taking drastic measures to shorten that.

But, for the first time in 3 pregnancies, I’m just really dang excited to have this kid. Scared of parenting 3? Nah. Bring it.

50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide
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  1. I’m 30 weeks pregnant. Most days I’m excited about having the baby. On rough days, though, I wonder how I’m going to handle taking care of a newborn and a busy 22 month old toddler. Then there are the days that I’m in an absolute panic thinking about the delivery. I made it to 10cm last time and ended up with a c-section. I had terrible back labor. I’m planning to VBAC this time but realize, OMG, I have no idea what real contractions feel like.

    • I can totally see how that’s a rollercoaster for you! And truthfully, I don’t know that I’ll feel like this all the way up to the end. There will probably be a little freaking out on my part soon, too.

  2. I’ve got that ‘bugs’ feeling on my legs — my midwife decided to send me for extra blood work to check my liver, to see if that’s the cause.. :S

    Hopefully the next 7-8 weeks go by faster for you! 🙂

      • 2 of my 5 pregnant friends this year have had the itchy bug crawly sensation and only one midwife sent her for her liver check up! both turned out to be okay though, hoping you are too! x

  3. I am almost 37 weeks and so over being pregnant for a while now. And I find it so irritating that I am now one of those women who keep saying they are so over being pregnant, because I always found it to be such a pointless statement. So I mostly irritate myself. But here I am, unable to think about anything else. And I know exactly what you mean about not wanting anyone to touch you. I can’t even stand anybody breathing on my skin. My husband is not allowed to breath on me. This actually started in my first (also miserable) pregnancy and never left. It makes snuggling quite difficult, when I always go “uhm, honey…you are breathing on me.” Ugh…almost there though!
    (If anyone feels the same and it would make them feel better knowing their misery has company, here is my last blog post

  4. I’m currently 37 weeks pregnant with my third and I am so done. While I’m not dealing with pica my heartburn was obnoxious. My ob said ok to Prilosec as Zantac and Tums did nothing. Today is day 3 and I have had no heartburn. It may be worth a try. The touching thing. Right there. My son just turned 4 and my daughter will be 2 on August. They much touch me at all times. When my husband gets home I usually run away for a few minutes to escape. Just know you are not alone!

  5. It always amazes me the differences one woman can have with each pregnancy (for me, each was fairly the same with a few different quirks, but each labor was different). Come on, 8 weeks!

  6. Sarah Darby on

    WishGarden Herbs makes a heartburn formula… It helped me a LOT. That being said, I spent both of my pregnancies being miserable and just wanting it to be over. I HATE being pregnant, but you get a baby at the end, so I suffered through. At least we know that it will eventually come to an end…right?

  7. Christina Scott Buehler on

    I’m 35 weeks and ? Days and tommorow I’m out walking uphill. I wake up in pain from contractions every couple hours and while, often I look up and say omg there will be three its too late now so…..

  8. Emily Mitchell on

    The bug crawling feeling is probably restless legs syndrome I had it with all 4 of mine It’s the pits So sorry 🙁 I’m sure the next few weeks will fly by and ask of the uncomfortable-ness will be a distant memory when you’re holding that sweet baby 🙂

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