He was determined to get himself there. Scooting faster than I’ve ever seen him, his legs reached further than they ever have before.

IMG_1816

Watching him race to the school made me remember that time he wanted so badly to keep up with the big kids in the neighborhood, calling out “FWIENDS!” desperate to join them.

Oh, sweetheart. One day you will be able to join them…One day you will be big enough to look both ways before you cross the street by yourself and join the rest of your “fwiends” in a rowdy game of tag… And until then, when your feet can keep up and your legs can make strides big enough to run as fast as those big kids you so admire, I will be your playmate…because I know my days are numbered. I know that one day entirely too soon you will be too fast for me, you will be too strong for me, you will be too big for me. – September 14, 2010 “Baby, My Baby, You Will Be Big Someday… Soon”

I huffed along behind him, holding my pregnant belly, not able to keep up. Watching as he’d race toward Scott pushing Leyna on her tricycle ahead of us. Then he’d stop and wait for me to catch up.

He’s too fast now. He’s too big now. He’s ready now.

IMG_1837

There was a little uncertainty from all of us when we walked into that cafeteria. Kendall cautiously went into the library with the teachers so they could ask him some basic questions and talk to him a little about the school. I sat down at a table and began to fill out all the paperwork. Scott chased Leyna.

How did we get here? Wasn’t it just yesterday I took that pregnancy test? Wasn’t it just yesterday he was born? I never thought when I started this blog, that I’d write about the day I registered my first baby for kindergarten. Back then that all seemed too far away to even comprehend. His whole life is here. It’s on these pages. From conception to this… pregnant with a 2 year old and a kid big enough to lose teeth and start school.

“Why is this school so big?” he quietly asked.
“Because so many BIG kids go here,” I responded. It was the first time I teared up.

Oh God. I’m going to be a wreck in August.

IMG_1836

He wasn’t too thrilled to pose for any pictures for me. I forced a couple obligatory shots. Snapping away while hearing the conversation behind me between a few moms turn to the PTA and Room Mom sign ups.

There were sheets out at the tables to volunteer for such things.

I suddenly felt like I was grossly unprepared for this. Kendall may be bigger and faster and ready. I, however, am still the same flakey, overwhelmed me. Flipping through the welcome packet, I read about the tardiness policy, absence notes, the importance of checking and initialing his folder daily, schedules, lunch money. I forgot to bring his birth certificate, immunization record and my I.D. with us to register.

Oh God. I’m going to suck at this.

Of course, I avoided the PTA and Room Mom signup sheets like herpes. I couldn’t get past the visions of arriving late for the 7:30 a.m. bell every morning to even consider them. SEVEN THIRTY A.M.

Oh God. I am going to die.

IMG_1840

IMG_1842

He settled in, the trepidation barely noticeable anymore. “This place is cool,” he calmly noted. “Yeah, it is,” I agreed.

The tone and tempo of his conversations on the way home exuded confidence. Ready or not… here we come.

IMG_1844

This summer, I think, will be a little like that feeling you get when you wait in line for the coolest, biggest, scariest roller coaster in the amusement park. Anticipation, mixed with nerves, mixed with the knowledge that the ride will be over way too fast.

Oh God. I’m going to be a wreck in August.

18 thoughts on “I’m Going To Be A Wreck In August”

  1. I don’t know if I am more scared of the fact that they grow so fast (well, once they are past 2 years old, at least), or the fact that one day I will have to get them to school in time. Every day. Early. Congrats to your big boy and hang in there, mamma. You both will do just fine.

  2. I’m with you! My oldest is starting kindergarten this fall as well and I can’t believe it’s time for this next stage! We can cry together 🙂

  3. Oh gosh, I can’t imagine. I’m on the side where Landon can’t start Kindergarten because his birthday fell 8 days after the cut off. I’m so torn about it. I don’t know whether to be upset he can’t start (because he’s so damn smart) or glad that I don’t have to let go of my baby yet.

  4. Oh girl I remember those days! EXCEPT I was such a disorganized flake that I MISSED the orientation day. I flogged myself SO badly over that!!! Now, Jackson is in grade five, and the baby in my belly as I drove him to kindergarten is now in kindergarten herself. And I am still a mess. 😉

  5. We lived on a ridiculously steep hill last summer and my boy was determined to ride down from the top – and he wanted me to watch! I told him, “Sometimes mommy has to close her eyes when you get soooo big and you want to do these things.” He tells me “You don’t have to be brave mommy – I am brave enough.” Now, at the end of Kindergarten, I have to say, he IS brave enough. And I don’t cry anymore as I drop him off in the morning because he is SO BIG.
    Until now. Thanks to you…
    I will probably sob as I pick him up and he shows me all of the things he made at school, and how high he can swing (by himself), as he gives “knuckles” to his best buds. He’ll ask me for a chocolate milk on the way home and I’ll say yes, because he still needs help with the straw. Sigh.

  6. Ok. It’s Friday night. My 10 month old son went to bed early tonight… about an hour ago. I immediately poured a whiskey and coke to recover from a crazy day and this makes me cry. Cry tears of joy from all the years I waited for my son. Crying tears for how fast they grow up. This will be so soon for me and I can’t even handle it. Good luck in August. We’ll all be there right behind you.

  7. This was me last August. Granted, it’s PreK, but it’s still in a ‘real’ elementary school. And yeah, I still totally suck at checking the folder and sending money for book fairs and PTO… but the change I have seem from my kiddo in the past year is AMAZING. He has grown SO much, and learned SO much.

    Gah. Now I’m going to cry.

  8. Oh, my heart!

    The neighbor girls had kinder registration yesterday and I was suddenly *so* glad Jack has a December birthday and another year until his turn. It’s too much!

    <3 great post.

  9. Um… can I just say I’m RIGHT there with you on the whole tardiness thing… I’m going to die too. We get up around 9 here right now…. this will be a rude awakening for us all….

  10. Great post!! I can’t imagine what kindergarten will be like. I am already feeling swept along on a ride that is already going too fast and it feels like its picking up speed everyday. Bryce is #2 but he’s also our last so every milestone hits me so hard!

    Oh and 7:30?!?!! o_O

  11. You’ll do great! As an ex-PTA Vice Pres…don’t be afraid to help out. Even if its just for special events, you don’t have to become the “PTA Mom” to help. The schools get credit for parents who sign up. I actually made some of my best friends through the PTA.

    As for kindergarten, I didn’t shed a tear until I was sitting in my car driving home. Big ugly tears mixed with laughter at the sight of myself.

    Hugs mama!! You can do it!

  12. You’re awesome. This will be me next year. One more year to enjoy my ODD. And with twins on the way due in July, I’m hoping I remember the next year, or at least some of it.

  13. Yeah, I was the kid who was always late to school, some of which I got from my own mother’s tardiness (some of which I’m sure was certainly my own doing). I don’t know what I will do when I am forced to be in charge of my own child’s timeliness someday.

    Surely it’s not SO unreasonable to move to the school district with the most favorable combination of good schools + late starts? Right? c:

  14. I cried the ENTIRE DAY when my daughter started Kindergarten this year. So did her little sister, we missed her way too much. Damn children, growing up too fast. The nerve of these little people.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Do you want to get updates from Baby Rabies sent right to your inbox?