I went to Blissdom, a blog conference here, in Dallas this past weekend, and came back ready to take over the world (as I do after all blog conferences). Step one to taking over the world was to come up with some way to entertain the kids today… some way worthy of a mom who would do such things like take over the world. Moms who take over the world make stuff, right?
So I made a giant mess…
Which resulted in about a pound of Peanut Butter Honey play dough.
I used a recipe given to me by the National Honey Board. They had a booth at Blissdom, and I was drawn in by their free honey sticks. Be sure, NOTHING edible was safe from my pregnant prowl.
Kendall found the pamphlet full of recipes when I got home and was insistent on making this stuff. I was just relieved to discover we actually had all the ingredients: peanut butter, honey, powdered sugar, and vanilla extract.
Ahhh, yes… operation Take Over The World was off to a good start.
But first, a reminder to the children not to eat the play dough.
“At least not yet, dude. Let’s play with it for a few minutes… Okay, okay, you can eat it. Just promise me that if you lick it, you’ll just go ahead and eat it.”
About that time, I saw a tweet come through on my phone. I… little ol’ me… @BabyRabies was listed as one of TIME Magazine’s Top 140 Twitter Feeds of 2013.
JUST IN TIME FOR ME TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
I headed to the office to commence Epic Awesome Monday, as the kids climbed down from the table to tend to other things, mainly the 1 millionth episode of Wonder Pets. I simply wanted to share my good news with the world (so it could prepare for my takeover). A few minutes later, I headed back to check on the kids and clean up the mess.
I found my elderly English Mastiff Bruno hovered over the tiniest remnants of what was one pound of peanut butter honey play dough, licking his chops. I let out an exasperated sigh/growl/roar of rage, “BRUNOOOOOOO!” He looked at me smugly, walked to the couch, and assumed the “I ate your kids’ play dough and I give no fucks” position.
*sigh* Just a typical day in the life of me. Wake up wanting to take over the world, make giant mess, bestowed giant honor, reminded by my dog that I live in the real world… all before lunch.
If anyone needs me, I’ll be searching for a gas mask to protect myself from the noxious farts coming out of my dog’s butt right now. I’m very afraid he will give many fucks about that pound of play dough real soon when it starts tearing him apart from the inside.