Kim Kardashian Doesn’t Think Pregnancy Is Fun, AND THAT’S OKAY

I swear, I didn’t set out to become some sort of pregnant celebrity defender (see me sticking up for Jessica Simpson here). It’s just, I guess the reactions to these celebrity pregnancies are so magnified and also represent so much crap regular, every day pregnant women face that just awakes the angry hormones in me.

Kim Kardashian is pregnant. 12ish weeks, I think. Yes, it’s Kanye’s baby. Yes, she’s still married to that other guy. Yes, there are a million jokes that can be made, and so many reasons why people legitimately don’t like her, and that’s fine. I don’t really care one way or the other for her. I don’t have cable and miss out on much of her life. I’m cool with that.

But she said something on Entertainment Tonight recently that suddenly has droves of People of the Internet, mostly women on Facebook and websites like Jezebel, up in arms.

What dumb thing did she say about her pregnancy already? Was it that she only plans to feed the baby from a gold-plated breast of a wet-nurse she’s importing from Prague? Or perhaps that she plans to gestate in a pool of champagne while being fed everything she craves via a feeding tube that carefully manages her caloric intake so as not to put on any weight?

Uhm, no. Here’s what she said:

“I haven’t (had morning sickness yet). I wouldn’t say it’s been easy… but no morning sickness… When people say pregnancy is, like, fun and they love it, I would have to disagree… I think from this stage on it does become easier and funner, but, you know, it’s adjusting, and I think that so many times my sister has made it look so easy, and it’s not as easy as people think. It’s… a little painful, there’s a lot of growing pains…. but I heard it’s all worth it, so I’m looking forward to that.”

You can see the video here, via The Huffington Post.

THE. HORROR. Let’s all collectively gasp at a pregnant woman who says that pregnancy isn’t easy.

Oh wait, but she didn’t have morning sickness so she couldn’t have possibly have had it as bad as every woman who did, right? So therefore she has no right to complain. Because only the person with the very worst situation ever on the planet ever has the “right” to complain. Everyone else who has it easier than them needs to shut up. Isn’t that how it goes?

Can we knock that shit off? The just-you-waits and the you-don’t-know-hard, the quit-your-complainings and the you-have-it-easys. 

That statement she made? Totally relatable. I’m betting MANY of us could have said the same thing. We’re not all slung over the side of a toilet all of pregnancy (and my heart truly goes out to those of you who are), but that doesn’t mean pregnancy can’t be hard in a million other ways.

The growing pains? That’s real, and annoying, and uncomfortable. The adjustments? There are many, not the least of which are the emotional adjustments, which can be some of the worst of it.

Had she said pregnancy was a total breeze so far, OF COURSE, that would upset the masses, too. Because there’s no winning. She would be raked over the coals for getting away with an “easy” pregnancy because she has so much money and help, and she’ll never know what it’s like for the rest of us.

So take Kim Kardashian out of the picture, and let’s just talk about a woman who is pregnant. Any woman.

It’s okay to feel like pregnancy is not easy. It’s okay to feel like it’s not a mythical fairytale, where you sing to your growing belly every day while rubbing cocoa butter on it. EVEN IF you’re not puking your guts out. EVEN IF your cousin had it so much worse.

Conversely, it’s okay to feel like pregnancy is a breeze.

It’s okay to feel however you want about pregnancy when you’re pregnant, and women need to stop making other women feel any differently. 

If you want to rip on Kim K. for her lifestyle choices, or her wardrobe stylings, or those hours you wasted on her E! Wedding Specials last year, take your pick. But this? I mean, seriously? Kim K. doesn’t think pregnancy is fun, AND THAT IS OKAY.

It’s also okay to eat macaroni and cheese in the bathtub…

in case you didn’t know. (A little Todd Parr humor for you parents out there.)

 

  • Katie - I really hated being pregnant. Every single part. There was nothing glamorous about it, and I had many try to say “but what about the fact that you are growing life?! It is beautiful” to which I replied, f that noise, this sucks. It does not mean that I do not love my daughter, and of course it was worth it, but I don’t understand the shock around Kim K’s comments. Not everyone is a birthing tribal mother.ReplyCancel

  • jeannine s - I hated being pregnant…there I said it. My last pregnancy was horrible. I had morning sickness 24/7 all 9 months. For 4 months I had to wear support stockings because I had veins bulging out everywhere. (still looks like I have a bruise on the side of my leg from the veins). I won’t even go into the trouble she had comming out and the pain from that.

    Every person is different and every pregnancy is different. I wish mothers could just support one another instead of tearing each other down.ReplyCancel

  • Amy - Thank you! My God! She said absolutely NOTHING and people lost their shit over it. I totally agree.ReplyCancel

    • Carolyn - Haha, I was also expecting her quote to be much, much worse! I thought she was actually very diplomatic! ;)ReplyCancel

  • Tara - Oh my gosh, I could not agree with you more! I mostly hate the people that imply (or straight out say) that complaining about pregnancy means you’re not grateful enough that you’re having a baby. Um. No. Nothing pisses me off more than people that think you can’t complain about something just because someone else somewhere has it worse. Sigh. End rant.

    I’m so glad all the pregnant celebrities have you to stick up for them ;)ReplyCancel

  • Trina - I totally agree. While I am so happy about being pregnant, that first tri I felt like death (nauseous all the time) and now I just feel heavy. This may be naive but I think everyone is allowed their own opinion on the whole experience.ReplyCancel

  • Wendy - Love Todd parrs books and so does my daughter!ReplyCancel

  • Abigail - YES! I don’t love being pregnant. In fact, at the beginning I mentioned that being pregnant made me *more* pro-choice because I would never force anyone to go through this that didn’t want to. This was answered by some serious pearl clutching, let me tell you.

    About the only thing I love is feeling my little guy move around. But I want him and I love him and therefore the uncomfortableness is worth it. I don’t love being pregnant, but when I hold him it’ll be worth it and that’s why I’m doing it.ReplyCancel

    • Carolyn - YES! When I went to my childbirth preparation classes we were supposed to come up with negative and positive aspects of being pregnant. The ONLY good thing I could come up with was “you end up with a baby” and then admitted “it is cool to feel him move around in there!” Otherwise, as far as I’m concerned, pregnancy is something you put up with in order to end up with a baby. The baby is the goal, the pregnancy is what you have to do to get one.ReplyCancel

    • Tara - I had a similar experience with my first pregnancy…my respect for mothers that give babies up for adoption went up a thousand fold because it is so not worth it if you don’t get a baby in the end!ReplyCancel

  • Meghan - I admit it, I hated being pregnant! If I ever do it again, I hope to spend the 9 months unconscious haha! That being said, I don’t begrudge any other woman the right to feel however she feels about being pregnant. Did I want to punch the “oh cherish every moment” person in the face while pregnant, you betcha, but they still have a right to feel that way. Everyone does pregnancy differently just like everyone does parenting differently. The sooner we learn to accept those differences the happier we will all be.ReplyCancel

  • Jamie - I hated being pregnant…never threw up, but was nauseous for 6 out of 9 with both kids. And the feeling of a child doing jumping jacks in my stomach…well that made me want to vomit! I call BS on anyone who says they LOVED being pregnant!ReplyCancel

  • Mandy - “Can we knock that shit off? The just-you-waits and the you-don’t-know-hard, the quit-your-complainings and the you-have-it-easys. ” <- A-FREAKING-MEN. This is, quite frankly, the reason I can't stand my mom-friends some of the time. Or really , non-mom friends too. Mostly women in general. Why do we seem to be built to be SUCH. BITCHES to each other?

    There are hard things in life. Yours, and mine, and everyone else's. Let's count the blessings we have and support each other in the parts we are having trouble with, regardless of whether those are the same blessings or the same troubles.

    Anyway, I don't care at all about Kimyae. But, I'm with you on that part. Because if I have to hear one more mom telling me to just-me-wait, I may kick a kitten.ReplyCancel

  • Shevaun Boatright - I loved my first pregnancy, was a raging bitch face the 2nd, and so far am full of the vomit for this one. SO WHAT? It’s an experience, and there is no “should”, no “right way” to feel or experience it. This? This is why there is so much stigma surrounding PPD and other things.ReplyCancel

  • Mav Gonzalez - I had a difficult pregnancy and it was not fun. I think a lot of women feel this way.ReplyCancel

  • Jamie Cottrell Thomas - While I take umbrage with her use of “funner”, I totally felt the same way. I completely admit I am not one of those lucky women who love being pregnant. AND, to top it off, I *gasp* don’t love the baby stage either. I am just not a “baby person”, I am much more of a toddler person.ReplyCancel

  • Carolyn - Oh man, I had a friend’s mother respond rather angrily to something I said on Facebook about not enjoying pregnancy (I have two kids now, and I said the same thing the entire time I carried both of them – “I’m so looking forward to the HAVING A BABY part, but this GROWING a baby part is AWFUL!”) I understand that many women cannot get pregnant and that I should be grateful for the privilege, but at the same time, I was in pain ALL THE TIME! If I complained about having a migraine when I wasn’t pregnant, nobody cared. But if I complained about pregnancy induced migraines, suddenly I was ungrateful and inconsiderate. You can’t win, even among grandmas ;)ReplyCancel

  • Faith Hughes Hinchman - I didn’t realize this was supposed to be fun. Growing a person kinda blows and I honestly feel like no one has ever told me how much it sucks, especially in the first trimester. Maybe it’s stupid crap like this that keeps people from talking about it. How dare we not enjoy every last second if our pregnancies!ReplyCancel

  • Leyna - Thank you! Seriously, why all the hatred? People can find something negative to say about ANYTHING. Maybe it’s the anonymity of the Internet era, but the old adage about keeping your trap shut unless you have something nice to say is as relevant as ever.

    I am awake and writing this at 2am because pregnancy does kind of suck. I’m not vomiting, I’m not in labor, but I feel just darn icky and can’t sleep. And thank goodness I’m not a celeb who’d be ripped to shreds in 2 seconds for saying that!ReplyCancel

  • Julia Miller - Oh, man. I didn’t have morning sickness, either–I had saddle pains the whole time that were so severe that it was hard to walk. There was so much pain that I honestly only got my stuff together to go to the doctor early on because I was afraid it might be etopic. You don’t need to be vomiting to be miserable. *chuckle*ReplyCancel

  • Jenna - Minus use of the non-word funner (…), I relate. I had horribly complicated pregnancies — my life was on the line more than once. It’s not easy. It’s not always fun. Yes, it’s worth it in the end, but it takes time to get to that point.ReplyCancel

  • Laura Kelley - The women on Jezebel are most certainly not up in arms. Both the article was snarky in a “duh” sort of way. And the vast majority of comments echo the sentiment: for many women (myself included, currently 16 weeks pregnant) pregnancy is not fun.ReplyCancel

  • Samantha @ 24 to 30 - I think it’s totally ok to say that pregnancy is hard or easy – it’s different for everyone. At times I loved being pregnant, at times I hated it. But I really think that people are being so hard on Kim because she is rich. She has money and status and opportunity, so how dare she say anything is hard? If she did have morning sickness, she could skip her magazine shoot for the day and stay home without worrying about how to put food on the table. I’m not saying I agree with that, just my opinion about why people are so up in arms.ReplyCancel

  • Beth Anne - Exactly.

    I really loved being pregnant. It’s not that I enjoyed barfing or the sciatica, but I was all PUPPY RAINBOW VOMIT emotionally & it was a great time in my life.

    On the other hand, I don’t judge any woman who hates pregnancy. Even if she’s not sick. Even if she just hates pregnancy because she can’t drink. That’s her right because it’s her damn body.

    Isn’t that what we have been fighting for? The right to feel/do/enjoy whatever the hell we want with our own bodies?ReplyCancel

  • Cheri - The biggest issue I have with her quote is the fact that she used the word “funner.”ReplyCancel

    • Jill - LOL. Yeah, although I could totally see me saying something just as stupid on TV.ReplyCancel

  • Laura - Ugh, by writing this blog post you just feed into that whole attention whoring machine. Next.ReplyCancel

    • Jill - Maybe. But I’m not reporting on her latest pregnant workout and green smoothie, or her plans for diamond encrusted pacifiers. I mean, this is a larger issue. Some women are bitchy for the sake of being judgmental bitches, and yes, celebrities get the brunt of that because of public eye and all that, but these same reactions get slung at every day pregnant women all the time, too. And it’s stupid.ReplyCancel

  • Andrea - If there is one thing in this world that drives me insane, it’s people minimizing other people’s feelings with the, “Just you waits!” and “Could be worse!” I mean I’m all about a little perspective now and then, but people have a right to feel what they feel and not be ridiculed for it.

    Also, pregnancy sucks. I want to have a 3rd baby, but damn, I am already DREADING the mere THOUGHT of being pregnant again. UGH. Pregnancy for me is the necessary evil you have to go through to get the baby at the end.ReplyCancel

  • Sarah Macon - Yeah I had pregnancy easy too and I didn’t like it even a little. I was so over the it gets better bullshit, you will get your body back, they are only babies for a little while. Im calling bull shit, it didn’t get better, I will never be a size four again and 3 years later she still acts like a Baby!ReplyCancel

  • The818.com - Yeah….was not a pregnancy fan. Don’t think I made too many secrets of it. ;)ReplyCancel

  • Monica's Mom Musings - And it’s okay to feel like one pregnancy is easier than another ;). I know if my pregnancies didn’t get progressively worse after my oldest I might still be having babies, lol. If it were as easy as my oldest’s pregnancy anyways. By the time 12 years later I got around to #4 I was just completely run down. Could have been age, could have been the fact that I had 3 other children, or it could have been that each pregnancy is different. Who’s to say. I honestly could care less about Kim Kardashian or any of her brood, but I will say this at least she didn’t add now pass the wine after she made her statement. Then the masses might have something to complain about ;).ReplyCancel

  • Emily at Tales of Fruit and Cake - Yes!! I’m just so tired of everything other women say being picked apart and used against them. Because as women we all need to constant be in competition with each other, why?!

    But a woman says something truth thought provoking or deeply profound, and no one is listening because we are too busy blowing up twitter criticizing the last famous woman to open her mouth.ReplyCancel

    • Emily at Tales of Fruit and Cake - *truly thought provokingReplyCancel

  • olivia - ive heard other celebs say that sentiment about being pregnant, i dont think anyone cares about it. peeps just hate everything that comes out of kim ks vapid mouth i think.ReplyCancel

  • Mandi McClure - Pregnancy had some perks, but fun…. not a word I would have ever used to describe it.ReplyCancel

  • Mommy Boots - I was annoyed with everyone ripping her apart. I am indifferent toward her. Yes, pregnancy sucks sometimes. Duh. You’re growing a PERSON. I personally loved being pregnant (no lie) but I even whined about it sometimes.

    I’m far more concerned with her using the word “funner”. Yikes.ReplyCancel

  • Laura@Catharsis - It isn’t fun. I don’t understand what everyone’s problem is. Like she’s the first woman not to have morning sickness to ever utter it. I had the worst kind, and my response? Damn straight, sister. It is NOT fun, but yes, like you said, it’s worth it. Hang in there.ReplyCancel

  • Kristen Daukas - I fricking hated being pregnant and I made no secret of it. There was maybe a few months out of the 9 that were okay but that’s it. I am still amazed that I have 3 kids. Some women love it, some are okay with it, some hate it. Who cares? People just love to pick on the Kardashian’s like it’s an Olympic sport. The funny thing to me is… if they hate them and bash on them so much, why are they paying such close attention?ReplyCancel

  • GK - Everyone bashing Kim Kardashian is giving her everything she is famous for. They’re actually the equivalent of her biggest fans.

    Leave the girl alone. She hasn’t done anything to any of us. I respect her. She’s hardworking and she’s as much a woman as any of us. None of us are perfect. Her “imperfections” are just magnified for the world to see.

    I’m happy for her. Just like most women, she’s looked forward to having a child. And I can’t find any reason NOT to be happy for someone getting what they’ve always wanted.ReplyCancel

  • Kirsten Oliphant - Found you via Blogher and so glad I did. My gut reaction to her quote was an eyeroll. Why? Because I feel like for someone in her position, she can afford whatever comforts she wants. I am now 24-ish weeks and could use a chiropractic visit every week. I can afford like two this whole pregnancy, so am holding out my sciatic nerve is killing me. If I were Kim K, I’d have a chiro living with me.

    But your post made me realize that I was letting the old compare-monster out of its cage. My first two pregnancies were easier. I had no morning sickness and felt bad complaining to those who did. Pregnancy is different for every woman and you are correct–we all have the right to feel how we feel about it!

    Even if you are Kim K.

    Thanks for this post and for making me think a little more.ReplyCancel

    • Jena - Who really gives a shit about Kim Kardashian’s pregnany or any other celebrity pregnancy for that matter…. its not like any of these people are going to make or break any of you. I think its hilarious how strangers talk about these celebrities like they actually know them. get a lifeReplyCancel

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