I’m so pregnant…

that I’m too tired and sick to come up with something witty to write to tell you all how pregnant I am.

I think grouchy cat understands.

The facts are these:

I’m 7 weeks, 5 days.

Due July 25th

This was NOT planned.

Totally a surprise, due to basically losing my mind and any concept of time through the end of October and beginning of November, whilst prepping for Inappropriate Elf and all my holiday tutorials.

So basically, the Inappropriate Elf got me pregnant. Kinda.

Which is just hilarious because now that Inappropriate Elf is in full swing and I should really be devoting more time to it, I want to puke just looking at the computer for too long.

Anyway, this is not at all how I planned to tell you all. There was going to be a clever picture and a witty caption. It was going to be Pinterest worthy. But, you know, the sick and the tired and the grouchy and the holidays. So yeah.

Hopefully you’ll all understand why I’ve been so quiet lately. The only things I have to say anymore are pregnancy-related whines, but I wanted to get photographic proof of this before I told the whole world. And, well, I got that today.

  • Elizabeth Flora Ross - Aw! So wonderful. I remember the post you wrote about whether or not it was time to try for another. Sometimes life has a way of taking control. Blessings! Hope you feel better soon and all goes well. Happy for you!ReplyCancel

  • Julie B - OMG, congrats! Hope you feel better soon!ReplyCancel

  • LissatRandom - WOW! CONGRATULATIONS! :DReplyCancel

  • Alena - So glad you used the cat! Also so glad the cat is out of the bag. Heh, so clever I am. YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!ReplyCancel

  • Robin | Farewell Stranger - Um, congrats? Yes, congrats! Those elves are sneaky like that. Happy and healthy nine months and all that.ReplyCancel

  • Nicole Asay - Congratulations! Yeah I’d ignore the website too if I were you;)ReplyCancel

  • Carolyn - Oh my gosh, congrats!! (And when I clicked the link on FB, I thought maybe this was just going to be an Inappropriate Elf joke! And it was, but it was also true!) I’m so sorry you feel awful (I am 7 weeks postpartum right now, so I still recall how terrible I felt while pregnant!) but what an exciting Christmas surprise :)ReplyCancel

  • Ashley B - Congrats! We are just starting to try for #3. Equally exciting and terrifying! Also, you’re due the day after my birthday :)ReplyCancel

  • MommaBird - Congrats!! That is exciting news. You’ve been busy, and I’m not just talking about all those wreaths you make :)

    (feels like everyone is getting knocked up around here…)ReplyCancel

  • The Sadder But Wiser Girl - That naughty elf! You may not have planned it, but perhaps he did…
    While early pregnancy is never fun, keep in mind that I feel very much like I did when I was pregnant, but I’m not. I just loooooove feeling nauseous all the time, but no fun end result (baby). Bleh.
    Congratulations!! Does this mean there will be little elf babies joining in on the antics next year? I’ve enjoyed this whole elf thing immensely. I’m so sad I don’t have an elf!ReplyCancel

  • Melissa - Congrats! I hope that you’re feeling more human soon. :)ReplyCancel

  • Kim @ Dirty Diaper Laundry - OMG! Congrats! Your announcemet was perfect!ReplyCancel

  • Lashawn - Aww! Congratulations!!! Hope you feel better soon!ReplyCancel

  • Brett - Eeeeeeek! Congrats Jill!! That’s so exciting!ReplyCancel

  • Nicole P. - Congrats! I hope you feel better soon!ReplyCancel

  • jen_schoeph - congratulations!ReplyCancel

  • Amy Curran - Congratulations!!!! I too had an unexpected pregnancy (6 months after I had a baby). Friday he will be 6 and I can’t imagine life without him. But….I cried for four months straight after I found out. ;)ReplyCancel

  • Brandi - Oh my goodness! Yay for another baby, even an unplanned one!ReplyCancel

  • Vivian - Eeeepppp!!!! Congrats Jill!!! So happy for you and your growing family!!! Sucks you’re feeling like crap though. Hope Scott is taking great care of you LOL.ReplyCancel

  • Michelle - I don’t know or remember why, but I read something you posted in the last few days and thought briefly (so briefly…I swear I’m not a stalker :)) ‘I wonder if she’s pregnant?’ So, YAY, BABY! BOOOOOO, The Baby Plague. Hope the yuck part goes fast!ReplyCancel

  • Suzanne - Tis the season for unplanned babies! I’m right there with you!ReplyCancel

  • Erin - Aww, sorry you have the yuck…but yay, cuz you make terribly cute babies. I just finally crossed into the third trimester, so puke death is over, but now I feel like a beached whale. Not sure if it’d make a diff for you, but I found that eating a CRAP ton of beans and fiber in general made a world of difference in my killer morning sickness this time. Hope you feel better soon! Take it easy Mama!ReplyCancel

  • Amanda @ The Eco-Friendly Family - Congratulations Jill! Hope you’re feeling better soon.ReplyCancel

  • Amy - Congrats, Jill! Very cool!ReplyCancel

  • Mandy - Yayayayayayayayyyy!!! Congratulations Jill and Scott!!!ReplyCancel

  • Fadra - Holy Smokes, Merry Christmas, and CONGRATULATIONS!!ReplyCancel

  • Crys Wiltshire - Major congrats! I think this form of announcement was much more fun than some pin-worthy photo. Look at it this way – if you convince the elf that he’s the baby daddy, your future kid has a direct line to all the best toys!ReplyCancel

  • Melissa G - Congratulations!!ReplyCancel

  • Kristy - Congratulations!!! Hoping you feel better MUCH sooner that later!!ReplyCancel

  • Jamie - Holy hormones! Congrats and hope you feel mucho bettah soon.ReplyCancel

  • Annie @ Mama Dweeb - CONGRATS!!!! Oh this is awesome news!!! I am so happy for you!! Name the baby Elfie ;)ReplyCancel

  • SandraT - Naughty elf… Congrats!!ReplyCancel

  • Leigh Ann - Congrats!ReplyCancel

  • April - Congrats!ReplyCancel

  • Alyssa - Congrats :)ReplyCancel

  • Delora - Good thing you’d already been shopping for a new car that could handle 3 carseats… ;) Congrats! Hope you feel better soon.ReplyCancel

  • Krishann - I know the feeling. I struggled to write or do much of anything while I was pregnant. Hope you feel better soon!

    Congratulations!!! So happy for you!ReplyCancel

  • ajira - This was the best announcement ever. As the page loaded, I kept flitting back and forth between is she/isn’t she. Congratulations! I am so happy for you and wish you a healthy pregnancy!ReplyCancel

  • Esther Fancher - Congrats!!! Hope you feel like your funny witty awesome self again soon! ?ReplyCancel

  • jennyonthespot - THREE CHEERS FOR A BABY IN YOUR UTERUS! Go baby! Go uterus! GO JILL!!!! You got this!ReplyCancel

  • Jessica R. - Congratulations Jill!
    Now, when does the ice chomping and rock licking start?ReplyCancel

  • Amanda Freeman - Baby!!!!! Once you pass the grouchy stage… Congrats!!!ReplyCancel

  • Mamaintheburbs - Go girl!!! Hope you start feeling a bit better!!!ReplyCancel

  • Elisa Brown - Holy Cow….Congrats!ReplyCancel

  • Katie Riemersma Sluiter - OMG! Congrats, Jill! That sly dog elf! I wonder if the baby will be born with his wide blue eyes and rosy cheeks.ReplyCancel

  • Rob Carr - I hope you get to feeling better and everything goes splendidly for you!ReplyCancel

  • Nichole Beaudry - Congratulations, Jill! So happy for your family.ReplyCancel

  • Vanesha Patel - Congratulations!ReplyCancel

  • Michelle Jones Nolan - I don’t know or remember why, but I read something you posted in the last few days and thought briefly (so briefly…I swear I’m not a stalker :)) ‘I wonder if she’s pregnant?’ So, YAY, BABY! BOOOOOO, The Baby Plague. Hope the yuck part goes fast!ReplyCancel

  • Jena Marie DiPinto - Well, planned and serene or unplanned and grouchy, either way, congratulations! :)ReplyCancel

  • Julia Wallace - Congratulations!ReplyCancel

  • Victoria Schilke - Congrats!!!!ReplyCancel

  • Michelle Keck - So exciting! Congratulations! !ReplyCancel

  • Tracy Morrison - Congratulations!ReplyCancel

  • disenchantedsl sarah - Feel better Jill! Congratulations and lots of love xReplyCancel

  • erin - congrats, jill :)ReplyCancel

  • Wren B - Well…hell. Good thing youve already decided on the Honda Pilot as your upgrade. Damn the holiday cheer crap. LoL now you have an excuse be a Scrooge. Congrats!! You do happen to make gorgeous babies though!ReplyCancel

  • Shari - Congratulations, Jill!ReplyCancel

  • Caitlyn - Congratulations!! I’m due with #3 exactly two months before you on May 25:) I feel you on the sickness too- this third one is kicking my butt!ReplyCancel

  • Zan - Yet another little one to take adorable photos of! (I met you at the Nintendo 3DS launch. I read often and like to check-in every now and then.) :)ReplyCancel

  • Jess Z. - Congratulations!!! I was wondering if you’d have a surprise for us :) Cheers to the pukes hopefully going away quickly!ReplyCancel

  • Andrea @paralegalmom - Congrats!!!!!ReplyCancel

  • Sarah Oliver-Hinchliffe - Feel better Jill! Congratulations and lots of love xReplyCancel

  • Maria - Yeah, congrats!! Hope you are feeling better soon.ReplyCancel

  • Miranda Hahs - Congratulations!!!! I actually recently found out that I am expecting too…our due dates are the SAME DAY! That pesky elf has been a busy- little bastard. Here’s to puking together!ReplyCancel

  • Jennifer @ Also Known As...the Wife - Congratulations! Welcome to surprise pregnancy land! It’s wonderful once the shock wears off. I hope you feel more like yourself quickly so you can enjoy the holidays.ReplyCancel

  • Arnebya - That damn elf. So inappropriate. HOW IS HE GOING TO SUPPORT THIS BABY WHEN HE’S ONLY AROUND ONCE A YEAR?ReplyCancel

  • Michelle - WOW! Congratulations!! :)ReplyCancel

  • Selena - Yay congrats!!!! SO excited for you guys!ReplyCancel

  • Amanda | OneMommysThoughts - Oh dear…that very naughty elf has certainly done it this time! What will your hubby think?!

    All jokes aside I am a mommy of three (by total accident) and my third is naughty as they come but he completes us. Hang in there and just know that this little elf baby will probably complete your family too ;)

    Happy holidays!ReplyCancel

  • Rachael - Zo-ho-ho-ho-fran! Merry Christmas (if it works).

    Congrats, sweet lady!ReplyCancel

  • Meghan - Congratulations! I got a surprise positive about 8 weeks ago (#3) as well. Sorry you are feeling so sick and tired, it will pass…eventually. Peppermint tea helped a little for my nausea, and graham crackers. P.S. just hung my Santa tulle wreath this morning, it’s adorable!ReplyCancel

  • Bonnie Halle - Congrats! So excited for you and take it easy! The first trimester is so important for the mom to be cam and well-rested. Hang in there!ReplyCancel

  • Jennifer - Congratulations!!! I feel your pain, I’m there with ya (Due July 20th) and hope that you and I start feeling better soon!ReplyCancel

  • Kristy Schneider - Congratulations!ReplyCancel

  • Carrie - Oh, wow!! Congrats!! That’s great news!! And totally worthy of all those exclamation points I just threw down!ReplyCancel

  • molly - Oh my God, Jill. OH MY GOD! Even though it was unexpected I can imagine your excitement. The craziness! Wow! I’m so happy for you, friend. You’re such a good mama and I know you’ll do great with three kiddos :)ReplyCancel

  • Sara - Congrats!!! I’m another one who is right there with you…. except my #3 turned into a surprise #3 AND #4. Yikes.ReplyCancel

  • Angela Garrison - Congrats! Been reading your post for a while now and couldn’t be happier for you! Was going to say that now you are really entering full blown parenting (that is to say parenting where you are outnumbered – going from man to man to zone)! but you don’t want to hear that! I know you feel outnumbered already as baby #3 is doing a number on you with baby #1 and #2 hanging off of you wanting your attention for this that or the other thing. I know, I will make you feel better by telling you that I am a mother of 5 and that my last three are 22 mos apart! Don’t bother doing the math – #4 and #5 for us were surprise twins! See, it can always be worse!!! Hope that perked up your day and congrats again! You’re a great mom and a great blogger!!!ReplyCancel

  • Christine Passler - YAY! Congratulations!ReplyCancel

  • Elaine A. - Congratulations! Hope you feel better soon!!ReplyCancel

  • Kerrin - What great news!! Happy, healthy 9 months to you!!ReplyCancel

  • Christy - Congratulations!!!ReplyCancel

  • Heather - Chickabug - Woah dude… that elf really does have mad skills! Congratulations, I’m so excited for you! : )ReplyCancel

  • hf - Congrats!!ReplyCancel

  • GreenInOC - Congratulations!

    You’ll have to come up with some clever reference to an elf for the middle name!

    Craving rocks yet?!ReplyCancel

  • Anne Benson Salmon - Congratulations!ReplyCancel

  • Trisha Wieber - Congratulations and remember surprises often bring the most joy into our lives. I hope your morning sickness passes soon and that you move through pregnancy with no major issues.ReplyCancel

  • Kelley Welch Acosta - Congrats! I hope you get to feeling better soon!ReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - Jill,

    I am so happy for you!! I cannot wait to have number three.ReplyCancel

  • Andrea Boffa - Congratulations! Being pregnant myself, I look forward to your comments on the subject. I hope you feel better soon.ReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Nicolay - I knew I didn’t want that Elf in my house for a reason! Congrats!ReplyCancel

  • Nanette - Eeee, congrats, mama! I hope you’re feeling better soon!ReplyCancel

  • Mav Gonzalez - Woohoo! You were just saying you were thinking about it – you are very lucky. AND you guys make the cutest babies! Here’s to a healthy happy pregnancy!ReplyCancel

  • Anastasia @ eco-babyz - Congratulations! I’m having flash-forwards in my mind about all the hilarious stuff you’ll be writing through pregnancy, the newborn stage, and littlehood. Sparingly I’m sure. Going from 1 to 2 kids was a tough one for me, hope you pass to 3 with flying colors! ;)ReplyCancel

  • Kat - Yippee yahoo!!! That’s awesome! Congrats to the whole family!ReplyCancel

  • Amy Allen Gooder - Congratulations sweetie! I so understand the sick part (remember how sick I was with Katie) and I hope it goes away soon. But you are such a wonderful mom & this baby is lucky to have you & Scott as it’s parents.

    P.S. – Sorry…but you look a gazillions times more like a Jill than a Melissa any day. If you had bet me money to guess you “real” first name…Melissa wouldn’t have been in the top 100. ;) But I still love you.ReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - Whooohooo!! Congratulations!!!!! Very exciting! I understand about surprises. While our current pregnancy was planned, having twins was not :-p Here’s to the end of the first trimester and the end of nausea!!!ReplyCancel

  • Justine Hanks - Just saw this- CONGRATULATIONS! Even though it wasn’t planned, I am sure your family will be the better for having another little one :)ReplyCancel

  • Zina Harrington - Congratulations Jill! :-)ReplyCancel

  • Patti Mojzak - Congrats! I was due with my little guy 7.30 and it was such a fantastic time to be due. I loved the holiday season with him as my little “secret” and bought a tiny little bird ornament to commemorate his beginnings. July and very pregnant kind of sucks, but getting big in the spring is fantastic because just when you want to wear only sundresses and tank tops and flip flops the weather is totally cooperating. Ooohh, this is so fantastic! (I’m dealing with some major baby fever right now, so even being sick and tired sounds so romantic and warm and fuzzy to me, lol!)ReplyCancel

  • Sue Dunbar Robinson - Congratulations! I know this must have taken you off guard, but you are amazing not only as a writer, but as a mom. I so happy for you!ReplyCancel

  • Melanie Mercier - Congrats! I totally get the pregnancy blahs, I was there a month ago!ReplyCancel

  • Rachel Tibbetts - Whoa! Congrats!ReplyCancel

  • The Top 11 Inappropriate Elves 2012 - [...] hand while blowing my nose with the other. It’s been a doozie of a month. I found out I was (surprise!) pregnant a little before Thanksgiving, and just when I thought I was starting to get through the worst of [...]ReplyCancel

  • Lindsay @ Dapp Tales - I found your blog through Ha Has for Hoohas (their post about the fart that almost changed destiny is not to be missed…oh lord).

    I digress – I found your blog before Christmas, the Inappropriate Elf got me here, but I went back to the beginning and have been reading your posts ever since. As I’m getting closer to being totally caught up, I’m finding myself sad! I think this is a great compliment to you! I just wanted to send some snaps to you and let you know I’ve enjoyed the journey and will continue to as long as you’re posting.

    And please continue to share the pregnancy rage. It makes for the best writing.ReplyCancel

  • B - Wow, I’m terribly late to the party, but congratulations!!!!ReplyCancel

  • Suddenly It’s The End Of This Pregnancy - [...] soon. It’s like I was never able to shake off this fog of disbelief for the entirety of this surprise pregnancy. I’m semi prepared, I guess, in that I have been there before- twice- so what more do I need [...]ReplyCancel

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