Days like this…

they happen. Days when I just can’t seem to find the energy to put my wheels in motion. Or rather, to get any traction with my wheels.

I’m kind of an expert at spinning them while staying in one place.

Do you ever feel like you just don’t know where to start? Should you clean? Should you work? Should you sit and watch the kids every movement and try to burn the memory of it into your mind? Who’s going to tell us what the priority is?

Some days I long for micromanagement of my life.

I get in these overwhelmed states every now and then. When I just simply have no idea what tiny rock to pick up and move first so that I can move the massive mountain in front of me.

So I don’t pick any of them up -the “rocks” (or the blocks or the laundry or the dishes). I don’t email anyone back. I don’t work on one of the 50 million projects I’d love to complete. I simply don’t do anything.

I’d like to think it’s some sort of mental re-boot, that something positive comes from days like this, but that’s not the case.

I’ll just wake up tomorrow feeling even more overwhelmed, hating the me from today for not setting the me of tomorrow up for success.

I hate days like this.

51 thoughts on “Days Like This”

  1. Oh, man- I had the same day yesterday. My kid watched so much freaking tv while I watched the dishes pile up in the sink, the dog hair waft by and the laundry overflow. It happens. I like to blame solar flares and the moons and whatnot, CERTAINLY NOT MYSELF. 😉

  2. It’s crazy but I felt like this constantly, like this constantly feeling of anxiety, of not knowing what to do next, knowing you have things to do, sometimes you may not have things pressing but you just FEEL like you do and it drove me insane. I am reading a book called “how to stop worrying and start living” by dale carnegie that actually addresses this and i swear , im 3/4 of the way through the book and i feel like my anxiety about those things has disappeared. It says you should live in day-tight compartments, just live for TODAY and until the end of today and stop worrying about what you are not getting done etc. If there are things you have to do, just start, do something right now and you will make progress just by doing something.

      1. It’s a great read, it is not completely about the topic you talked about but it does go hand in hand I think. It mostly deals with helping you handle worrying about things (which I do, i worry about “what if my daughter is bullied in school, what if i get in a car accident with her, what if something happens to my husband or I)” – i worry in the middle of the night about things everytime i get up to pee! LOL. The book has helped tremendously, but it also goes along with the worry about day to day things like “how will i ever get things done” etc.

  3. I regret to admit that there are more days than not that I feel this way. Three years into motherhood I’m still struggling to find the balance of getting things done and more specifically finding the motivation to start. I really appreciate the raw honesty of this approach becuase I think it mirrors what many of us face each day.

      1. Thank you. I struggled with what to write yesterday. I was in a funk, didn’t want to write. Then I realized that’s exactly what I should share. I figured I wasn’t the only one who goes through these things.

  4. That is me today! The Time Warner internet guy came this morning, and since then I haven’t had any motivation to do any of the things that are piling up in front of my eyes.

    So for now, Little I is watching Fireman Sam and I”m reading my favorite blogs. Nice to know I’m not alone!

  5. sounds a lot like me. try doing some $h*t at whatever ungodly hour your body wakes you to pee. believe it or not, it actually helps. I did about half a days work in under 2 hours this morning because I was the only one awake. No one to shoo out of the dishwasher, no ‘mom can you get me this’… no one in the way. It was INSANE! But wonderful. You know, in case you ever have insomnia.

    1. Gah. I WISH I had the will-power to get out of bed early and get stuff done. I just can NOT, for the life of me, drag myself out of bed if nobody is screaming at me to wake up.

  6. this exactly. i am having an all time shitty week this week and not loving the way i am handling it. i appreciate the honesty of this post, makes me feel a little better, and more human.

  7. Could have written this one myself. The self-loathing that comes from days like this is almost too much to bear…but not enough to change what I’m doing. I seriously told my husband the other day that maybe I should go talk to someone about it because my motivation for anything seems non-existent. Having a three month old and a three year old both up in the middle of the night – almost every night – contributes to it…but I use it as my total and complete excuse. Not good…

    Thanks for making me feel like I’m not alone! 🙂

  8. You come by it honestly, your mom is having a day like this for sure, every room in this house with the exception of the guest rooms are piled with stuff that should be somewhere else and I have no reason to feel so undone. I had to clear a space on the kitchen table, covered with mail and other paperwork, to put the laptop because both desks and table in the office are COVERED with papers begging to be dealt with and laundry and groceries that need put away and how many different pairs of shoes can the two of us (ok mainly me) wear anyway. Yeah it is one of those days, When you guys were young I called them my mental health days specifically meant for not doing anything, except maybe reading a book for hours on end while my children experinced free range, semi surpervised living in the relativly safe confines of our home.

    1. Momma said there’d be days like this 🙂

      Thanks, mom. Hope you got everything settled today. I also seem to come by the habit of leaving my shoes everywhere naturally, it seems.

  9. Huh. I had this day on Tuesday. Wound up in bed most of the day. Ate once. I hate these days too but these days are fleeting and I just say screw it, let it pass. I think when I was younger, the kids were younger, these days used to really throw me off. Now, even though I know they’re NOT PMS, I am better able at just letting them happen. I’m glad you don’t overtax yourself with trying to do All The Things when you’re having one of these days because stressing over all the minutae only make it worse. The dirty socks will still be there tomorrow. Yes, they’ll still need to be washed, but you’ll be better able to do it.

    1. Thanks. Yeah, I learned a while ago to just not fight the funk. Just take the day off and deal with the consequences later. Not exactly sure that’s the most responsible route, but the children are still alive and well, so there’s that.

  10. I literally refer to myself in my head as “Past Mandy” and”Future Mandy.” Sometimes Past Mandy does nice things for Future Mandy, like hang up the laundry before the week starts. And sometimes Past Mandy really screws Future Mandy over. 🙂

    Yes, I am aware how nuts I am.

  11. I’m having the SAME day. I often have these days actually. And, oh how it makes me feel a little less of a shitty mom/wife, that someone else is sitting there staring at everything, doing nothing.

  12. Actually I was asking and feeling everything you wrote this AM so what do I do instead read one of my favorite blogs Ha… 🙂 I should really get to doing something productive right? maybe…. Cause I KNOW I will be so mad tomorrow when I see I have to do double of what I should because I didn’t do anything beforehand. Motivation where is that B****.

  13. Oh my gosh, you are ME! Thank you for your honesty– I have days like that too and it’s so refreshing to know I’m not alone– especially in this pretty, photo-edited, blog world that we all live in! Here’s to a better tomorrow. (hugs)

  14. I think this week is fucking with us. All of us who are striving to do everything and not being motivated to do any of it. Serious gut punch, Universe. Touche.

  15. I have these days a lot. It gets especially difficult done days to find the motivation to actually teach … I home school my kids. Wouldn’t a “pause” day – one where time stands still for our kids, we get to relax and recharge, and the house is magically clean – be the most perfect gift ever?

  16. Thanks for being human. And honest. It makes the rest of us feel a little better when we have days exactly like this–and, surely, we all do… right? If you don’t, I think you must be hooked on some kind of amphetamine. Please don’t correct me if I’m wrong. It makes me feel better to think all the supermoms -all-the-time must also be meth-heads.

  17. And I just got my period. I would not be surprised of my emotions had I not been taking the pill! Guess I should make an appointment for Mirena ASAP! Yikes!

  18. Jill,

    Looking through these photos made me smile to myself and think, “Wow, that’s what she thinks is messy?” My laundry pile would put any other to shame. Or should I say pileS. Take heart, you’re not alone and not every day is like this. {although they tend to come in multiples}

    1. Trust when I say this it not the pinnacle of my mess. I simply can’t climb into my Master closet with my camera to take a proper picture of the worst of it 😉

  19. I have them often also and when I properly communicate what kind of day I am having my husband says just start a load of laundry. Then you can say you did something. It nearly always works! Nearly.

  20. I have been feeling that way all week too. I tried to put it down to just processing really bad news, but seriously? I have to get my sh*t together already. The laundry, the bills, the dishes… things that normally don’t daunt me are sending me into panic attacks? Is there some planet out of alignment or something? So over it.

  21. You can only do what you can do. We have jobs that don’t have scheduled breaks or holidays. There are no real weekends off and no temp to call in when your sick. YOU CAN NOT HATE YOURSELF FOR BEING HUMAN! I think I gained a shit ton of energy after I quit beating the shit out of myself for taking couch days. I can be more productive the day after if I lovingly let myself roll around on the floor with the kids and tell hubby to pick up chinese for dinner oh and don’t forget the six pack. I have three kids. I love to be super mom who can be counted on for anything. I have three kids and I don’t want to set crazy standards for myself that one day they think they have to live up to as well… and hate themselves for not being able to live up to either. I love all of you… cut yourself some slack and laugh at the mean monkey in your head!!!!

  22. This is me. all week. In fact i even had a rant about it at 1am to the hubs. It helps to know im not the only one, i just wish i had some answers to deal with it. Thanks for sharing though.- the more we share the heads we have to find a solution!

  23. For realz. And thank you. I was feeling pretty crappy tonight after subbing for 2nd grade today I came ome and did nothing. Nothing. This post makes me feel like its okay. I’ll fix it tomorrow. Other people feel like blah some days too.

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