It’s a theory I’ve long since held: The cuter the toddler, the more challenging the toddler. I even made this handy chart to explain it visually when Kendall was 2.

Leyna is INSANELY CUTE, if I do say so myself. Here’s some evidence in the form of a short video in which she says hi, bye, gives me kisses, and squeals like a 12 year old at a Bieber concert.

Holy crap, how scary do I look there?! Sorta like a Synchronized Swimmer.

So obviously you can tell that she is also OMG so challenging.

Let’s break to discuss how HORRIBLE my phone pics are because I’m STILL using a 3GS with a mysterious black scratch (?) on the lens. COME ON NEW IPHONE ANNOUNCEMENT. But if you want to play “find the black scratch!” you can always follow me on Instagram.

That picture was taken in the midst of a meltdown that followed her standing in front of the refrigerator, pounding the door, shouting, “HAND! HAND!! I WAN DAT!” Because I am mother of the year and sometimes bribe my kids with clouds of Reddi-wip sprayed into the palm of their hands. I told her no, not because I was above giving her some for breakfast, but because I’d already filled her chubby little palm with whipped cream once before 10 a.m.

The tantrum lasted at least 5 minutes. She probably burned off all the calories and sugar from the whipped cream, so at least there’s that.

#OMGToddlers

32 thoughts on “#OMGToddlers”

  1. Oh, this reminds me SO much of BG2! And I totally agree w/you about how their cuteness equates to how crazy they are because this child is INSANE!!!

    Btw, I simply adore Leyna’s smile!! And you look fabulous Jill, as usual 🙂

  2. YES. We often told our 1-year-old, “You’re lucky you’re so cute.” We didn’t add the part about what we might have done with him if he wasn’t.

    The only thing that makes me crazy is we had some neighbors with 1-year-olds who were perfect freaking angels and adorable as hell. This seems to violate the rule. But I hypothesize they will be hellish teenagers and addicted to meth by 14. Clearly.

    1. It’s truly one of my best parenting ideas ever. Obviously, it will be it’s own chapter when I write my expert book on how to raise children.

  3. This has always been my theory as well. I’m pretty sure I’m screwed because I think my Monster figured it out. She’s all I’m adorable look at me then turns around with flames shooting out of her mouth. She’s really cute though. 🙂

  4. This is hilarious. I now have to go revise my post about the things I have recently learned in my 2nd year of motherhood…somehow I forgot to talk about toddler tantrums. Must have been my mind mentally safe guarding itself from horrible memories…

  5. In my opinion you ARE mother of the year because you give your children fists of Reddi-Whip once in a while. I mean, they are KIDS not POWs! Let them have a little bit of awesome now and then! I cringe when I hear blah blah all natural no sugar for my kids EVAR! blah blah.
    Nutrition good, occasional treats good, moderation good.
    Plus, how cute is it when you have something they REALLY REALLY love and you let them have a treat and it’s like you just gave them the key to the city?! SRSLY!

  6. Don’t feel bad. Landon is sick and Brigham was bouncing off the walls with boredom so I gave him some marshmallows for breakfast. Mother of the year, right here.

  7. Our toddlers are cut from the same cloth. My child is adorable but good heavens… some days. Some days he drives me teeter on the very brink of insanity.

  8. I’m totally going to try the whipped cream in the hand. Hmm, I’ve got Cool Whip in the fridge. Do I let her scoop some out herself or set it up like a trough and hold her hair back?

  9. 1. Have you watched the Louis CK clip on Youtube about his 3 year old? I’m pretty sure he based that off of Caroline as a 3 year old and not his own kid. I’m so glad to have a bit of a break before Denver turns toddler. 4 totally rocks so much after all that toddler nonsense.

    2. We’ll all know you got a new phone without telling anyone when your iphone pics cease to have that tell-tale black scratch.

    3. I died at the Reddi-wip in the hand. Died. Off to buy some…..

  10. I love your blog. I did not see the whipped cream treat coming in this post. It totally surprised me. I laughed so hard I almost peed on my couch. Laughter because I can imagine the tantrum in a toddler voice. But also because I will most likely be using this trick tomorrow! Toddlers are challenging. Girl toddlers are an entirely different species. Hang in there, Mama. I know your pain.

  11. Convo I have at least once a week with random strangers:

    Stranger: “She’s gorgeous.”
    Me: “Thank you.”
    S: “I bet you have your hands full.”
    Me: ::blank stare:: (How do they know?!?!)

    My almost 4 year olds currents favorite? They eye roll and the ‘please stop bothering me mom’. WHAT THE FRENCH?!?! What will the teen years look like for me? SHOUTY CAPITALS!!

  12. I thought this was awesome and so right but was what I really took from this post was that Reddi-whip in the hand sounds like an excellent technique and I will be buying some immediately. Immediately. Stickers are just not cutting it.

  13. O-M-G…the Redi-Whip in the hand made me actually laugh out loud. I don’t like that stuff but I bribe my kids with other non-healthy, non-natural sweet things that probably don’t constitute as food so I understand.

  14. In all fairness to Leyna, I react pretty much the same way when I go for a fix and realize that glorious can is empty

    😉

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