Last night, around 3 a.m., Leyna woke. And it was one of those cries that let me know she was hungry or just plain annoyed and wouldn’t go back down easily… unless I nursed her. Yes, we’re still breastfeeding. I try not to do it in the middle of the night anymore, but some nights it’s just so much easier to appease her and get her back to sleep than to battle with her. Last night was one of those nights. I trudged to her room with all the enthusiasm of doing chores.
I always bring my phone with me to her room for middle-of-the-night feedings because 1. I like to use it as a flashlight to help find her ALWAYS MISSING pacifier and 2. I like to check emails and Twitter and such while she nurses.
I clicked on my email app, and noticed a name pop up that I’m very familiar with. Of course I would be. She’s been reading and commenting over here and on my Facebook page for… ever? A long time.
The opening of her email sounded like a lot of emails I get from readers. Something about how she hates to bother me for help, etc. etc. Usually this is followed by very sweet requests for advice on how to start a blog, how to potty train, how to survive postpartum anxiety.
I kept reading, wondering if I’d send her the sort of form response I’ve drafted on “how to start blogging” or if I’d have to send her a few links to Postpartum Progress.
And then I caught my breath.
And a tear fell from my cheek and onto my phone. I wiped it from the screen, off the words that read:
I am six and a half months pregnant and was diagnosed last month with some pretty serious breast cancer. I also have a two year old at home. I will be going through four rounds of chemo before the baby is born and will have a mastectomy within a month after she comes so between chemo and surgery and follow-up chemo and radiation there is no way I will be nursing her.
The heaviness of that moment took over me. Life, you are so very fucking unfair sometimes.
Her name is Jamie Thomas, and this is her family:
“my beautiful monkey Jack who keeps me going, and for whom i will fight harder than i thought possible”
”my husband Bob, who… is pretty kick ass, especially with all of this going on….”
Her request? Breastmilk for her unborn baby.
This amazingly strong woman who has such a fabulous outlook on this battle she’s waging has one simple request, and it’s breastmilk. I have a feeling we can all come together and make that happen for her.
I immediately replied to her from my phone, sitting in my rocking chair in the pitch black room, holding my toddler closer than ever, the sound of the white noise machine droning on and my fingers tapping away at the screen.
In our email exchange she said, “This has been a huge blow but I’m going to beat this because I have no other choice in this matter. It’s just going to be a long hard road, but I’ll deal with that.”
To which I replied, “I have no doubt you will kick this in the ass and emerge a victorious mother warrior.”
Because she WILL.
Jamie and her family live in Orange County, CA. Her baby is due to arrive on October 27th. If you live in her area and think you can help her, please leave your email address in the comments below. She (or someone she knows) will be in touch with you. If you don’t live nearby, aren’t lactating, but know someone else who might be able to help, please share this.
If you just want to leave her some words of encouragement, feel free to do so in the comments, or even better, support her and read about her journey over on her Caring Bridge page.
UPDATE! I’m so excited to announce that Best For Babes has worked with us to set up a Miracle Milk Fund for Jamie. Read more about it here.
Also, I’m so honored this story was featured by Bonnie Rochman for Time.com. This community is amazing and inspiring. Thank you for being a part of that.
I have milk in our deep freezer since we are only nursing in the morning and night (and middle of the night – dd is 15 months old) that I would gladly ship. My sister is also somewhat of a cow and I’m sure she’d donate. We are from Michigan, but I’ve heard of shipping on dry ice before.
Awesome. Could you please type out your email address in a comment so that she can see? I would recommend doing it like jill at babyrabies dot com so the spammers can’t pick it up that easily. Thanks!
Forgot one key component lol!!
heatherjames1023 at gmail dot com
Jamie-
I will be praying for you, mama. You can do this! Your babies are so lucky to have you for a mom, a mom that will fight (and win) for them. You can do this! Stay strong, stay positive, and know that there are people out there that you’ve never even met that are cheering for you.
I’m not due until February. I live in Texas. But if there is any–ANY–way I can help, I’m on it.
My heart aches for her. Jill, there is no way to donate breast milk when you don’t live near by?
I’m not exactly sure of the logistics. I think it can be shipped on dry ice, but I also feel like we should see if enough turns up near hear that people can deliver to her to make things less difficult? I’ll do some more research on all of it tomorrow. I know networks like HM4HB exist for reasons like this, and I’ll try to reach out to them this week, too.
Thanks, Jill! You are a rockstar for helping. I would like to help anyway I can.
When I looked into donating my milk to a mom out in BC she had pre-arranged everything with Puralator. They had some conditions and rules about how the shipment had to be to ensure it made it there in the right condition.
So that may be an option here too. They would just need to reach out to a shipping company and see what they can offer.
my email is iluvmytriniti at gmail dot com. i can send some milk your way, momma. it wont be much, but it will be some. ill have to ship it from CT. please contact me!
I live about 45 min away from the OC, in the San Fernando Valley. I’m still nursing my 2 year old. Not much, but I can certainly dust off the ol’ pump and see what I’ve got. Email me at littlebabyblog@yahoo.com. I want to help in any way I can.
Jayme
Heartbreaking. I have tears in my eyes for her. I live in Canada, but I do have friends in Cali. I will ask them to pass this along through their networks. I don’t know how it works in the US, but when we struggled (for much less severe reasons) I looked into a breastmilk bank. They do exist. Here they require a prescription from the doctor and are run by the hospitals, so everything is checked and clean. She may have already explored that route, but I thought it might be worth mentioning.
My prayers are with this brave and amazing Mama.
I can actually answer this one! I live on the LA/Orange County border in California and have donated to the Seal Beach bank off and on. A friend of mine had a baby about two years ago and they needed to require on donor milk for health reasons (she has a neurological condition that requires medicines which preclude her from nursing) and she talked to several banks in the area – ranging from as far south as La Jolla to as far north as Santa Barbara, and into the Inland Empire. She found that prices fluctuated per ounce based on supply available – and frequently the banks did not have milk leftover for private purchase after donating to NICUs and the like. She said that she and her husband averaged a payment of $9 per ounce to a variety of milk banks. (She wound up being the person who took my entire stash at the time – six full gallons frozen in approximately ten billion of those little Lansinoh bags! I was so proud. And so thankful to have my freezer space back lol!)
I wish I was still BFing, I live in the Inland Empire, I would gladly pump extra for her if I was 8(. None of my local friends are currently pregnant or breast feeding either 8( Sending positive thoughts and prayers to her and her family.
I would LOVE to help. I literally have an ENTIRE freezer full of a stash I will never put a dent in. I overproduced when my daughter was in the NICU a few months ago and has been properly deep frozen and in Snappies since. I live about 30 min from the OC and would be more than willing to help. jennamariebush at yahoo dot com.
Ooops posted this in the wrong place:
I live in Fullerton Ca and had a son 5 weeks ago! I plan to breastfeed until 2.5 so I plan on lactating for MANY more months…I will help in any way I can. Ochousewife@gmail.com
Does the donation button on the Caringbridge site give the money to Jamie or to Caringbridge? I don’t have breastmilk to give, but could donate monetarily to help them out.
Not sure. Let me look into that for you real quick.
Okay, that button goes to CB since it’s a non-profit. Jamie told me that they are fine when it comes to money right now, but if anyone has any little girl hand-me-downs, she’d love to take them off your hands.
Ok, I was guessing that went to CB. If someone can email me with their mailing address I’m sure I can send some little girl stuff their way. My email is lmt_582 at yahoo dot com
I would love to be able to help! I am nursing my son currently and plan to do so until he’s one (Jan. 9) I was going to continue to pump and donate the breast milk to a local bank. I won’t be able to help right away but I would love to be added to the list and would love to help once I am done nursing my son. I wish I could do both but I barely produce enough for him.
email is armylove24@gmail.com
i’m in the seattle area, and can ship some to you if need be… please let me know the specifics if you need it! cardizzle at gmail dot com
Im so glad you came across this and let us know to be thinking of her and sending love and light and endurance and peace. If I were nursing, I would totally contribute. But all I can do these days is pass on the request. And I’ll visit her caringbridge site. *HUG* You rock, girlfriend.
Reading this makes me sad, but I know that a strong mama like you will find a way! I live in San Diego, which isn’t too far away, and am currently nursing my six-month-old; I imagine I’ll be lactating for some time to come. I’d love to help in some way if I can, although I don’t own a breast pump. But perhaps you know someone who does…? Surely we can figure something out! Email is holly dot scudero at gmail dot com. Please contact me!
My heart goes out to you and your family, I would love to help. johnson71611 AT gmail DOT com
I’m not lactating (but your night time feeding with the phone and the white noise machine was spot on), but is there a milk bank in the area that she can also consult? I will be praying for her and her family.
My heart aches for this mama. I’ll be praying for her! If she hasn’t done so already please tell her to post on http://www.facebook.com/HM4HBCA/likes?ref=ts#!/HM4HBCA (humanmilk4humanbabies) as both a recipiant and donor they have played a wonderful in helping me make milky connections.
I’m currently nursing and pumping for my 6 month old son and would love to help out. I’m in Michigan so I’d have to ship it, so if she doesn’t get enough from local donations, please let me know!!! I’ve got a bunch frozen that I will not use.
kelsi.iler at yahoo dot com
so proud of you sister. xo
My heart goes out to Jaimie. My mom went through breast cancer and beat it, but I can only imagine doing it while pregnant and with a toddler. I’m in Central California, but will be down in So Cal the middle of September. I can do a drop off then. My sister does live in So Cal and I’m sure she would love to donate as well. Please contact me. adventuresinfluff at hotmail dot com. I will also share this on my blog to help bring more mommies your way.
Thank you for sharing this, she has a beautiful family and she is a fighter, I can tell.
I grew up in Southern California and just posted this on my FB page in hopes that some of my mommy friends can help out. Praying for this awesome mom and her family at this time.
I’m not local but just have to say – fight, momma! You can beat this! You are strong and amazing! Prayers for you and your beautiful family.
Well, I can’t help with breast milk. But I can help with the whole breast cancer thing. I’m in the O.C., 4 years out from my own diagnosis (my daughter was 8 months at the time of my diagnosis). I did the whole surgery, chemo, radiation. It would be my pleasure to talk with Jamie about the road she’s about to take. A breast cancer diagnosis is not a death sentence! She will beat it’s ass!! Please forward her my email wendy@wendy-nielsen.com or send her to my blog where I talk at length about my experience. I know from experience that she’s needing some peer interaction from someone who’s been there and “gets it.”
Southcoast Midwifery in Orange County might be a good place for her to contact. They coordinate with a breastmilk bank for preemies, there may be a way they could help her coordinate.
http://southcoastmidwifery.com/
Speaking of which, there are a variety of other midwives and birth centers in the area as well as doulas who may be willing to mobilize their troops, so to speak. Beach Cities, Simona Wellness, Ancient Paths, and I don’t even know how many dozens there must be in Los Angeles.
As well, there are several local parenting shops with communities who can probably help. Granola Babies is in Costa Mesa and will be relocating to Long Beach, so they’re in the area. Belly Sprout is in both Fullerton and Orange, I believe. Rosie Posie Baby is more focused on cloth diapering, but shares a similar community. There are also several breastfeeding-focused shops in the OC-LA County area. The Pump Station is in Santa Monica. Milkalicious is in Aliso Viejo. Etc.
Hi, I’m in Temecula, CA….an hour from OC? I can pump for you. ladyjake5 at yahoo dot com
I’m a few hours north of the OC, but I’ll pass this along to my former LC. I know she has a ton of Los Angeles area connections.
I have an 11 month and still lactating and would love to help if I can, I live in the Sacramento area. Let me know if there is a way to ship it or what I can do!!
Katie
kts66stang at hotmail dot com
Hi,
I’m in San Diego and would love to help this mama out! My email is lucee_rios at yahoo dot com.
I just have to say thank you so much for all of the wonderful and supportive comments, you really have no idea how much that alone means. Thank you to Jill for the beautiful words and I will start contacting people this week. Thanks for all of the other suggestions also. I very much dislike asking for help but in the short month this all has happened my attitude on so many things has changed and this is one of the big ones.
I am due in December, I plan to nurse my newborn and toddler.
I can provide some milk too, I am an avid pumper who seems to never use the milk : /
Also there are a lot of moms on Eats on Feets who may have some now, I know it may seem a little extra crunchy but it can help her while she is going through chemo and her baby. She may also want to look into creating a bit of a freezer stash to get going if she can.
I have a 3 wee old and plan on nursing till shes 2 so i will be able to donate. Please email me a ms-jess at live dot com
Jamie, you go, girl. What an inspiring outlook you have, and way to make your wishes known! Prayers are coming to you from Boise, Idaho.
Hi I recently moved to San Clemente CA so we are in Orange county as well! I have a 4 and a half month old baby girl. I only breastfeed and try to pump at least once a day. I am able to pump a lot of milk in just a 10min sitting (anywhere from 6-9 oz). I would LOVE to help you out! Please contact me and I have tons of frozen milk but I can wait till it is closer to your due date to give you some milk since frozen milk lasts for about 4 months. My prayers are with you!!!!!
Emily
The fact you are due the same exact day I was due with my middle two children instantly connects me to you….oh how I wish I had milk to donate but my son started slowly about a year ago and finished about 2 months ago and I have no milk because of how he weaned he weaned as my supply went down. What I do have is hope..and STRONG hope you WILL beat this and get the wonderful doner milk you requested. My thoughts are with you Mama..and I am positive you will kick this cancer in the ass! <3
Im about 30 min away and nursing my toddler. If you think I can help please let me know. Mrsterzoli@gmail.com
I’m in the Los Angeles are, I have a 7 month old who is exclusively breastfed. I will donate whatever I can. Please contact me at mommy2env@gmail.com
I have some milk from may and June. It’s been in a regular freezer tho. If she can get it into a deep freezer it will last 6months. Let me know if I can help. My supply seems to be going down but I’d closer to the time I am still going strong I can supply fresh milk. My LO is 5 months and exclusively BF.
Soniamshah at gmail dot com
I’m due in 3 weeks, and will pump all I can. I live in OC angelbebe1@AOL.com
I’m just comfort nursing my 3-year old, not producing much, but I DO have a kick ass medela pump that any momma is welcome to borrow. (I will want it back for baby #2!). Please speak up if anyone can use it to help out Jaime’s baby.
lesleyswick at gmail
Does it happen to be the Symphony? My son is in NICU and I’m renting the Lactina but I get much more when I use Symphony at the hospital.
It’s the “Pump-in-style”. I”ve heard that the Symphony works better, but you can TOTALLY use it if it will make life easier on you. You can either use the same tubes and boil them to sterilize, or you can buy one of the manual pumps (for like $40) and have new tubes. It’s up to you. Email me if you’re interested. I live in Pomona, I work in Redlands, and I’ll be in Huntington Beach on Saturday.
Sending love to your little one! <3
lesleyswick at gmail
Hi Nancy~ I tried to post this response earlier, but perhaps I did it incorrectly (It’s the luddite in me!)
It’s the “Pump-in-style”. I”ve heard that the Symphony works better, but you can TOTALLY use it if it will make life easier on you. You can either use the same tubes and boil them to sterilize, or you can buy one of the manual pumps (for like $40) and have new tubes. It’s up to you. Email me if you’re interested. I live in Pomona, I work in Redlands, and I’ll be in Huntington Beach on Saturday.
Sending love to your little one! <3
lesleyswick at gmail
I love the positive attitude you have and are able to find ways around that of which we cannot control. You are an inspiration to many. Although I do not have kids of my own, I do feel a closeness when reading your story. I would love to give you the only gift I can give…A complimentary Couture Baby Bump. I am a professional face a body painter and enjoy painting mom’s bumps to embrace the last month of pregnancy. This makes for a wonderful photo opt with family. An example is on my website http://www.couturepaintings.com and my email is sara@couturepaintings.com
You are a hero and deserve to be recognized!
My name is Rachele. I saw this shared by a friend on Facebook. I am in NM and would also have to ship, but I would be happy to help in any way I can. You can reach em at rachelestuart at gmail dot com I wish you nothing but support and love as you go through this trying time. Do not be ashamed of reaching out for help – most women would simply ignore it and be resigned to formula. You are doing something amazing for your child, and everyone needs help sometimes.
I live in West Covina. Please get in touch with me. N.M.Barrios@hotmail.com.
In Pasadena and have some milk to spare. My son is 19mo. Won’t be pumping much longer but what I have is yours. Thtr 4 me at yahoo dot com.
Oh if I could express more than a few drops, I would help! I send lots of encouragement and support though. Here’s a couple resources that may be helpful:
http://m.facebook.com/EatsOnFeetsSoCal?id=172481092767301&_rdr
https://www.hmbana.org/milk-bank-locations
http://www.llli.org
I live in OC, Yorba Linda to be exact and currently nursing a 3.5 month old with food sensitivities, I can hopefully help out. And on the plus side there will be no dairy, soy, or egg in case her lo is sensitive too! I am part of a moms group and know a number of moms with lo’s so I will post this to my fb! GL mama and emma dot burton dot loder at g mail dot com
I’m in riverside, Ca.. i have a 1 yr old im still nursing. I can pump & give you the extra milk I have in my freezer. I’m not very far from OC I can deliver it to you as well. Xoxo sending you my love & healing energy <3
I live in South OC and have a 3mo old little girl and plenty of milk. Please let me know if I can help – brianamvickers@gmail.com.
I am due in a week or so and would be honored to help. I live on the border of OC and Riverside counties. Trishwelham at hotmail dot com
Praying for her and her family. Ill be reaching out to all the mommy’s I know. Not too far from OC either.