What To Get That Kid Of The Parents You Hate THE MOST

Step aside, finger paints.

Your time is up, drum set.

There is a new guy in town, and he’s the most passive AGGRESSIVE of all the messy and obnoxious gifts anyone can give anyone’s kid.


Because clear bubbles, obviously, aren’t fun enough… anymore. This day’s child needs CYMBAL CRASHING, PAINT SPLATTERING, BARNEY DVD ON REPEAT equivalent mother effing bubbles. 

No, he was not just attacked by an angry bucket of green food coloring. Just, you know, BLOWING BUBBLES.

They are bright, and they are colored, and they are here to stay. 

Seriously. That shit has sat through 2 rain falls.

“They are messy fun for outside! some may remind me. Yeah, yeah, I’m aware of the company line.

Unfortunately, these hands come inside... and then leave finger prints all over my couch and doors (on the way to the bathroom, where he was told to take a bath, immediately).

And these feet leave these footprints on my floor before I can catch him and ask him to leave his shoes outside.

Listen, I adore 99% of the stuff Crayola makes, and I’m not saying they should stop making these bubbles. I’m just saying these are a powerful tool for evil, and should be treated as such. Only give the kids that belong to the people you hate the VERY MOST these bad boys.

Finger paints and drum sets should suffice for people you only hate a little.

Kendall got these for a birthday present. I’m very afraid of the mom who was responsible for it. I probably shouldn’t be left alone in a room with her.


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  1. Yes, this is a terrible idea. We bought some purple bubbles and I opened them at this really nice park. I felt really badly about the purple splatters that were everywhere! Usually I’d encourage my kid to chase the bubbles and try to catch them, but not when they stain like they did. Total fail!

  2. I KNOW!! Someone gave them to my kids and like a fool, I let them play with them…the red ones. Afterwards, it looked like my children were a bloody mess. They ruined clothes and are a hot mess! I threw the rest away :O) Shhh! Don’t tell the kids :O)

  3. Omg!! I totally agree- I have been telling anyone who will listen how evil these things are!! I bought them to take to work with me and ended up staining 16 infants and an entire classroom!!

  4. we have some, and I think they will go out in the middle of the yard, with only undies on.. and maybe flip flops that can be washed outside. I think this is a good plan for one day next week when the baby is napping, it will promote getting out of jammies and into clothes post-bath!

  5. They must have changed the formula from last year then. Because I got my daughter some to play with while we wasted time at my sons cross country camp… She had a bottle of purple bubbles and played with it out at the forest preserve. The stuff came off her hands with just water, and what she did get on her shirt came out right away. Now that crayola chalk on the cement patio of our new apartment is not wanting to come off, she’s been out there scrubbing it so she can draw new pictures.

  6. I wish I could post a pic here … my MOM got the kids some for Easter. Bless her heart. Eventually, the 3yo dumped the bubbles in a bucket of water. We filled water balloons with the colored water and had a water balloon fight. It was awesome. And messy. Shockingly, it washed out of the white shirts that I was crazy enough to let them wear.

  7. OH!!!! You know what makes these 100x better???

    If they were infused with GLITTER!!!

    NOT. I despised glitter as a preschool teacher. These would not have been welcomed in my classroom. Duly noted not to EVER have these in the house.

    • LOL Wren, my husband and I joke that if we had a pre-nup, bringing glitter into the house is grounds for divorce…he hates it SOOO much. Like at Christmas time, he won’t even open cards in case they’re the ones with glitter. He’s so lucky we had a boy and boy stuff is not typically doused with glitter.

  8. Oh gosh, I was looking at the in the store and thinking they looked fun. I am so glad I decided not to buy them. Thanks so much for the warning! I’m sorry they caused you such a headache. Yuck!

  9. Ugh…I had a similar “OMG why do they MAKE this stuff?!?!” experience with crayola glow sand. It was all fine and dandy when I let my 7 year old play with it supervised…and then there was the day she snuck it up to the office, the light- beige- nearly- white carpeted office, because I had told her no earlier because I didn’t want to have to clean up the mess. Add in my 3 year old boy to the mix, and a mama who was studying for finals, and oh holy hell! NEON YELLOW all.in.the.carpet. The upside? All the sand glowed in the dark, so I could vacuum some of it. The downside? The 7 year old “helped” me by trying to clean up mess on her own, and ADDED WATER TO IT. (which turns it into neon colored paste in the carpet) :::facepalm:::

  10. Stephanie Cole on

    My mom bought my son a bubble machine that came with colored bubbles. Obviously the bubbles have stayed hidden in a closet and we’ve been using regular clear bubbles. I haven’t even tried them and now I def will not after seeing these pictures. In fact, I may bring them to HER HOUSE next time she baby sits!

    Also, I love that his little crocs are on the wrong feet – so cute!

  11. Stacy Bruinsma Kessler on

    I saw this in Big Lots and as I passed by I thought to myself, “What a big mess! That will not be coming home with us. EVER.” and with that I literally ran past the end cap display.

  12. Monica's Mom Musings on

    My mom sells Crayola products. I could have told you to stay far far away from this. Seriously, anytime you want to know which Crayola products not to buy I’m your girl ;). Stay away from the crayon maker too. You can only buy the paper for it through their mail order, it’s not sold in stores and it just does not work very well. My mom has dealt with many complaints about that ;).

  13. Patricia Zimmerman Hicks on

    We got them as a gift when they first came out, before everyone heard how awful they are. We only use them in the bathtub and not very often. The kids know if a bubble leaves the bathtub, they get taken away!

  14. Thanks for the heads up! Crayola made my s*** list a few years ago when my daughter received Tadoodles for her 2nd birthday. It was such a disaster, they might as well have given her a freaking gallon of liquid Sharpie ink. Ugh.

  15. You said it!! I don’t even HAVE kids yet and my mom sent me the pink and purple bubbles for easter. The husband and I immediately went outside to play with them but were instantly distraught at the DISASTER they caused!! Our deck, our shoes, our outfits and ourselves were all COVERED in purple/pink mess. How the heck is a toddler supposed to control the mess?!!

  16. We saw these in Target and I immediately though, what a stupid stupid invention! Good to know I’m not just a crazy clean freak. Do they come out of clothes in the wash at least? For some reason I thought they said “washable” on the package. Clearly not!

  17. Glad I’m not the only one who had a terrible time with these damn bubble I had a coupon and got the for free I bought like 5 of them we opened one for oh 30 seconds and was done now I have 5 terrible dyed bubbles maybe I can add water or mix with other bubbles

  18. Hmmm…I had wondered about them too. Glad to have this info before buying them. There are SO many crappy things out there for kids. You would expect a reputable name like Crayola would be ok. We’ve had all sorts of horrible stuff given to our kids over the years. Fake blood was a cracker – that ended up being thrown away before they got to it. We did get caught out with Spiderman Silly String a few years back. That was terrible too! We will definitely stick to the regular bubble mix!

  19. I very stupidly bought these for my daughter last summer. The green and red ones. Lets just say after she was finished playing with them it looked like someone had gotten shot outside of our house… It wasn’t pretty… They haven’t been seen since that day…

  20. I totally agree!! Thank God I had already heard moms complain about them before one entered our house. And of all the people to give them to my boys? My mom! What does that say? Payback for all the messes I made for her as a kid?! haha probably. I ended up letting my kids use them in the backyard, away from the house, garage, or anything it could possibly come in contact with besides themselves! And they rinsed off in the pool before coming inside. The bubbles really weren’t even that much fun. You could barely see the colors (until they splatter) and didn’t work as well as regular bubbles. I will definitely keep these in mind for the next mom that crosses me. 🙂

  21. Someone gave these to my toddler for her birthday in February and we have yet to use them because they look like a total nightmare. When she finally realizes that she has them (she seems to have forgotten because I may have hid them very, very well) I plan on sending her outside in her underwear to play with them and then I’ll hose her down before she can come in the house.

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