Toddleritis

Leyna wakes early from her nap. Again.

Screaming.

I go in to soothe her and try to put her back down. She throws her pacifier at my face and grunts. Points down to the floor.

“DOWN!” she demands.

We battle. I rock, she rolls… right off of my lap and onto the floor. I try to pick her up. She, of course, turns to jelly. Classic toddler self defense.

She yanks on the handle of her door. “Wa!” she yells.

I give in and take her to get some water.

She spits the water out all over herself and blows raspberries. “NO,” she insists.

“What’s wrong with her?” asks Scott. I shrug.

“Does she have a fever? Runny poop?” He’s concerned.

“No. Her last fever was 3 days ago. I mean, her last diaper wasn’t pretty, but it doesn’t seem like her tummy’s upset. Just like she ate a lot of fruit,” I say.

“Is it teeth? It’s got to be teeth,” he reasons.

“Ehh… maybe. I stuck my finger in there to try to feel for some, but she was pretty vicious. I didn’t want her to bite me,” I reply while giving Leyna the side eye.

She’s now whining, pulling on my shorts. “Maaaaa, mamamamamama! Ehhhhh!” I pick her up. She throws herself backwards, sits back up and pounds on my chest.

“Leyna, you don’t HIT mommy,” I say as calmly as possible while pulling her hands down.

EPIC SAD FACE

She’s crying, inconsolable now.

Until she sees a cracker.

“She’s hungry!” Scott exclaims, like he’s just discovered the meaning of life.

I make her a plate of crackers and cheese with a few sliced grapes while balancing her on my hip. I sit her at the table, present the plate with an enthusiastic, “MMMMMmmmm! Snacks!”

She throws it to the ground. “Up!” she yells, holding her hands up to me.

This scene plays out, over and over, for the rest of the day. Scott and I take turns trying to come up with excuses, reasons, illnesses.

“I don’t think there’s anything really wrong with her,” I finally admit out loud, “other than her just being a toddler.”

“They don’t have a medicine for that,” Scott chimes in, defeated.

“Nope. But we would be the FIRST in line for the toddlerhood vaccination if they did.”

Leyna is 18 months old and has an extreme case of Toddleritis

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