Something has changed in the last month. Well, lots of somethings, actually.
The sun is shining, it’s warm, the house is full of glorious light, house projects are finally getting finished (only to start new ones, oh well), and I’m slowly digging myself out of the hell of anxiety that I’ve been living in for the last 9 months.
Life is not so overwhelming. Priorities are not so fuzzy. Impending doom is not so present.
That’s not to say I’m cured. I’m just coping.
And this much I know has helped:
Order, Control, Release
(click through from my home page to read more about how I’m coping and what I’m giving away)
The latter is really key. I’ve had to release myself from the guilt that comes from saying no, not answering all the emails or replying to all the tweets, not pushing myself harder when it comes to this blog or proposals for new projects or that book I’m still working on.
A big lightbulb moment was hearing Jon Acuff (author of the book Quitter, and one of the most amazing speakers I’ve ever heard) tell us at the Blissdom opening keynote that we need to make a list of people we’re okay with disappointing.
I am not okay with disappointing my husband or my kids.
I am okay with disappointing judgmental strangers.
I am okay with disappointing my readers and my Twitter followers. I don’t want to, but I’m okay with that.
(I’m so sorry if that sounds harsh, but it’s the truth I needed to speak to myself to put my priorities in order.)
The other two, order and control, are slowly coming to me. I know, truly know, that when my house is out of order, when my inbox is a nightmare, when my calendar and to-do list live in my cloudy and stressed head, that I am setting myself up for anxiety.
I know that when I wait to react to something instead of taking the reigns and being proactive about it, I am setting myself up for anxiety.
That much I KNOW.
Now, knowing and doing are two completely different things. I wish I could tell you that I obviously have it all figured out, and that I’ve taken all the steps needed to correct the situation and move forward with more order and control.
I can’t. But I’m working on it. I’m always working on it. I think it’s a work that will never be complete.
For now, though, for just today and each day after, one day at a time, I can de-clutter my life. I simplify things. I can write things down.
And I can forgive myself if they never get checked off.
I’m on the momAgenda Council of Media Moms again this year. It’s an odd partnership to me sometimes- me, very open about how totally unorganized I can be most of the time, them, in the business of catering to the very organized, or those who strive to be.
But, I also think it’s a perfect fit in that if I can write these tasks and appointments and important notes down on a momAgenda and get some peace from that simple act, anyone can. That’s the reason why I feel like this partnership is a truly genuine one.
The BEST Mothers Day present only I can give to myself is the gift of order, control and release. I want to help you give that to yourself, too. momAgenda just hooked me up with a new planner for the next year, and they wanted me to share one with one of you all, too. And maybe it will help you be even more organized than you already are… or maybe it will simply help relieve you of the stress of all the chaos that lives in your head by simply giving you a place to let it out. Either way, I know you’ll love it.
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