Pin The Ovaries On The Uterus- It’s a Real Game

So I was minding my own business, driving by myself on the way home from the grocery store, enjoying the silence, when I happened to notice the enormous, self-promoting decal on the windshield of the van in front of me.

It said something about celebrating “going from a girl to a woman,” which was, obviously, an attention grabber, right there. Then a website address for MenarcheParty.com… I thought. I couldn’t remember the exact address, but I remembered MENARCHE and PARTY. I had no clue what a menarche was, but using my super sleuth skills in context clues, I had a pretty big hunch what I was going to find when I typed the two into Google at home.

And yes. I was correct.

This vehicle was advertising their services for helping you throw a party for a girl who got her first period.Β 

Did you just die a little? I know, RIGHT??!! I had no idea whether to laugh or cringe or stare in amazement when I brought up the website.

People, there are party supplies:

And games… Oh, the games…

As bad as Pin The Ovaries on the Uterus looks, I have NO desire to know what the “Puberty Marshmallow Game” is or how one wins at it.

The website even offers “puberty cards” with messages like: Life’s A Cycle, and You’re An Everblooming Rose. (And Β no, I can’t type that with a straight face.)

I’m a woman, a mother, a lady fully okay with her lady parts and all the natural things they do. I’m not squeamish about periods, and I don’t think young girls should be ashamed of them. I get that there’s something to be said for being “proud” of… becoming a woman???

But, I am not so far removed from my own Menarche to not have vivid memories of how I felt at the timeΒ (and now I will try to incorporate that word into my daily vocabulary to make it as hilariously awkward for those around me as possible). I didn’t even want my mom to recognize the fact that I was having a period, okay. I mean, she mentioned that she told my dad that I had started, after she SWORE SHE WOULDN’T TELL ANYONE, and I am pretty sure (no, seriously) that I threw a butter knife at her.

What? HORMONES.

If my mom tried to throw me a PARTY?! There would have been blood…Β from places and people other than the obvious.

Could you imagine if someone threw her daughter a SURPRISE Menarche Party and invited all her friends? Folks, THAT is basically the perfect punishment for the daughter who tried to kill you in your sleep that one time.

I don’t know, maybe I’m not being “open” and “accepting” and “positive” enough about this whole thing, but seriously, really, can any of you tell me YOU would have wanted a party like that when you got your first period?

  • Sarah @ Cole's First Blog - o_O I would have *died* if my mother had done this. DIED. Dead. I can’t even imagine who would want this…ReplyCancel

  • Paula - I would like to hear from a teenager who actually did this. Are there any positive experiences that came out of this?

    I’m all for girls embracing it and understanding that it’s a good thing and nothing to be scared of but this???

    What about the girls that don’t get it til super late? What about the girls that get it really early? I could almost go for a party like this before anyone started but wait…no…I couldn’t. The creepy factor is just to high for me.ReplyCancel

  • Sarah - When my period started my mom took me out to dinner and gave me a ring. I look forward to doing something like that with my daughter.
    I have a girlfriend who her mother and aunts all took her out. She liked it too.
    A party with non family? Too much for me. I like recognizing that she has become a woman in the family, but only with other women in the family. And never as a surprise.ReplyCancel

  • Kelster - If the testimonials are real, at least 3 persons enjoyed this party. Wow! I could actually see throwing a puberty party for my pre-teen and a few close friends. It would be a fun way to learn about the birds and the bees – definitely more fun than the movie they play in school. However, we don’t need a menarche party! I did not need my period announced to anyone. What about my friends who are late bloomers? How awkward will they feel?ReplyCancel

  • Sarah - Yikes. I am with you… I did not want my mother to know when I got it either, and went so far as to hide my blood-stained sheets from her when I got my first period overnight. Of course, she discovered them and “congratulated” me with a new shirt and some fancy lotion. Lol. That was enough to almost make me die at the time, so I can only imagine a party being thrown in Flo’s honor.ReplyCancel

    • Liz - I also hid my first menstrual cycle… although, it didn’t take long for my mom to realize. I was mortified when she shared the news with my older sister and couldn’t have imagined announcing it to the world. At the time I felt it was nothing to celebrate and I don’t think it is a complete process of becoming a “woman.” The lotion would have been a nice gesture to make me calm down possibly.ReplyCancel

  • Gale - I try not to swear, but am really struggling right now to say no without an expletive attached. That would have been my junior high NIGHTMARE.

    I mean sure, I’ve read there’s cultures where it is celebrated…where girls go through ceremonies and all. And I’m sure if you’re part of those cultures it wouldn’t be super embarrassing to do so (cause everyone had one).

    But…shudder…I can imagine how mortified I would have been. And that’s BEFORE the pin the ovaries game.ReplyCancel

  • Celina - I would have died had my mother thrown me a party! Like dead on the floor from embarrassment. I’m all for accepting who you are and all that good stuff, but transitions such as menarche can be terrifying and embarrassing to young girls and throwing them a party is not the way to handle embarrassment, especially when the girl is just experiencing what it feels like to be hormonal. Plus bunching hormonal pre-teen girls together to celebrate something THAT personal is going to lead to some sort of bullying/ teasing of the girl they are “celebrating.” But whatever floats their boat, as long as I don’t have to pay for it! LolReplyCancel

  • Mama in the City - This reminds me of that Cosby Show episode where Rudy gets her first period and Claire is so excited that she is ‘a woman now’ and they plan a special period celebration.ReplyCancel

  • Kerrin - I never even told my mom (or anyone) when I got my period. I just went out and bought supplies and went about my life. A party to me.would have been mortifying.ReplyCancel

  • Beth Anne - OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.

    No.

    I remember being so disturbed when my father told me that my mother told him that I started my period.ReplyCancel

    • Nikki - I completely agree!!! When my dad told me that my mom had told him, I ran to my room embarrassed and sobbing. I couldn’t look him in the eye for several days.ReplyCancel

  • Bonnie - I plan to do something for my daughter but since she’s 13 months I haven’t figured out the details. πŸ™‚ I want it to be a time for the closest women in her life to welcome her into womanhood. I envision it being a time for sharing and empowering… a sacred rite of passage. I know it will not include cheesy, embarrasing games or coordinate table wear. Good grief!ReplyCancel

  • Emily (CityBabyLiving.com) - Dying…with laughter. The concept is oh, so, wrong. I hid my period from my parents and literally turned into a deaf mute when my dad (at dinner) said he kept finding the wrappers behind the toilet (i didn’t want anyone to see them in the trash) and would the ladies in the house PLEASE try to aim better. My mom and sister knew it wasn’t them…if only they had had a party game to pull out at that moment my life would have been complete.ReplyCancel

  • Jennifer @ Also Known As the Wife - I’m having a difficult time forming a response because I immediately remember the awkward phone conversation with my mom when I got my period over winter break while she was at work.

    I wanted to kill my mom when she told me she told my dad that I needed a bra…it never dawned on me that he may have known I got my period. At 28 and the mother of a child I still don’t want to acknowledge that he may know.. A party would have probably caused me to spontaneously combust from embarrassment if anyone else knew what was going on up in my business.ReplyCancel

  • Andrea - Just visited the website and it said “The Menarche Party includes a special ceremony for the girl in transition.”

    OhmiGah!!!!ReplyCancel

  • Calley - Oh lord I would have killed my mom!! I haven’t stopped laughing yet. I think it’s good in theory but wow!!ReplyCancel

  • Tara Sutton - Okay, so I was “proud” of “becoming a woman” and told my family. However, my friends were a different story! No, no, no, and, oh, yeah! NO!!!ReplyCancel

  • jessi - Glad I’m not the only one who hid their period from even their mom. She figured it out when her supply of lady products started dwindling (duh), and it was so crazy awkward for both of us when she approached me about it. Love my mom, but we have never had “that” kind of mother/daughter relationship. Some “don’t ask, don’t tell” going on in our house. A kabizillion times worse was a few years later when my dad and I were watching an SNL episode, and a tampon featured prominently in a sketch. He turned to me and asked if my mom had ever taught me how to use one. I was 16-ish. RIP to my childhood right in that moment.

    A party? Good gaahhhh… The only way I think it would be cool is if it reenacted the prom scene from “Carrie.” Love your “There would have been blood… from places and people other than the obvious” line.

    It’s therapeutic to write this out and read similar stories. I vow to do better with my own daughters, and what everyone else is writing only enforces why I should. Maybe a BR blog post or two can be inspired from it all?ReplyCancel

  • kk @ the mom diggity - Wow. Totally dying. This is HORRID!!!!!ReplyCancel

  • caitlin - oh. my. god.ReplyCancel

  • Kelli - This sounds totally embarrassing!!! I would have killed my mother if she had thrown me a party like this. Luckily my mom acted like it was no big deal and we just went on with our day. I think that some girls mothers make too big a deal and it makes their daughters feel abnormal, when it really is just normal. I’m sure my mom told people and I told my friends, but it was ok and just a part of normal life. I personally don’t feel like getting your period is something to celebrate since it’s so physically uncomfortable and such a personal thing. My daughter is 3 and a half and I will NOT be throwing her a party for her period and will be letting her have the choice to tell people or not, after all it is her body not mine.ReplyCancel

  • Jacklyn - Ahhahahahahaa! I die. I was invited to one of these parties. For one of my students. By her mother. ummm… I’m pretty sure they weren’t serving alcohol so I didn’t go πŸ˜‰ReplyCancel

  • Monica - Is it supposed to be a surprise party? Or just a party in general that the daughter has a hand in? Having two daughters on the cusp of womanhood I have to say I can see why this might be helpful in making the whole first period not so scary. I don’t know that I would do it. My oldest will probably want to crawl into a hole when she gets her first period. My middle daughter might be game for a party. She loves a good party and any excuse to have one. So I don’t know that it’s entirely outlandish. I would never do it without talking to my daughters first. Nothing these days I do without asking them if they don’t mind if I do it to spare them from being totally mortified by their mother. But knowing how nervous my oldest is especially about getting her first period something like this might make it all seem like just another milestone in her life.ReplyCancel

  • disenchantedsl sarah - I liked sarahs experience if being taken out to dinner by my mum and recieving a ring.
    I did not like my mum ringing EVERYONE to tell them is started.
    I had been sent home from school with suspected appendicitis. 2 says later, it kicked in. She got really really excited and called the world. For all I know there could have been an add in the local paper with congratulations. Seriously.ReplyCancel

  • Tami - Good thing i read this. Now if my daughter is invited to one of these, I’ll be able to avoid the awkward mistake of sending her in an orange & black butterfly costume.ReplyCancel

    • CC - bahahahahahahahReplyCancel

    • BRANDI ELAM - LOL. Literally. Just had to read this post to my husband because your comment had me cracking up so much that I had to then explain what was so hilarious.ReplyCancel

  • Tena - When I was about 5 or 6 I told my mom I wanted a period party. Of course, when the time actually came, I didn’t even bring it up…ReplyCancel

  • Sarah M. - I. Would. Have. Died.

    Wow.ReplyCancel

  • Autumn Canter - I was a strange child. While I wouldn’t have wanted a party, I did want something special in the family. When I told my parents I got my period, I announced it to both my mother and father. I was quite surprised by my father’s discomfort. I teasingly asked, “Are you going to get me a cake like on Blossom?” and he put up his hands and was all, “What? What? No!”

    I then turned to my mother. “How old were you when you got your period?”

    “13”

    “Just like me! Dad, when did your mom get her period?”

    “I have no idea! Why would I know that?!”

    LOL, I wouldn’t get my own daughter a cake, but I would get her a gift from her father and I. Maybe a little locket or take her out for a special dinner. Without saying why out loud. Make it like she joined a secret club. I want her to not be ashamed of what her body does, especially since it can be uncomfortable, messy and bothersome–but ultimately it is a gift. (so I tell myself when my ninja period ruins another pair of my underwear…sigh)ReplyCancel

    • Jill - Oh, I am totally down with following my daughter’s cues and doing something special if she so chooses, even though, I really would have hated anything special AT. ALL. and wanted everyone to just overlook it altogether. I just think… I just…. I wonder if any girls actually WANT a PARTY like this?? Because I can not imagine a worse for of embarrassment at that age.ReplyCancel

  • Larks - This phenomenon oddly reinforces a stereotype I have about Texans: you guys can make a party or a money making opportunity out of freakin’ anything. ;-PReplyCancel

  • Jen @ HaHas for HooHas - This is just another sign of the end times. πŸ˜‰ReplyCancel

  • ellie - hahahahaha.

    “i knew i didn’t want her experience to be like mine”
    “i never thought learning about menstruation could be so much fun”
    “i gave my daughter a puberty party, which provided an easy way to teach my daughter about menstruation. when her period started, SHE WAS SO EXCITED TO PLAN THE MENARCHE PARTY.”

    need i say more? this is beyond entertaining but i would be beyond mortified if my mom did anything nearly like this. my mom gave me a new necklace and we (still) have a family friend who has acted kind of like my second mom, and i talked to her about it WAY more than i ever did or will with my own mom.

    some people are crazy, i tell you.ReplyCancel

  • AD - Hi Jill! I just love your blog πŸ™‚ I’ve never commented before, but this topic is awesome and I had something to say! A commenter above mentioned how in some cultures, menarche is cause for big celebrations – I was born and raised in the U.S. but in my family’s culture (India), there is absolutely a big huge party at this moment in a girl’s life. My parents didn’t observe that custom with me since I grew up here (and like you, I definitely would have died of embarrassment if they had!) but when I went to college, I met another Indian friend whose parents DID choose to celebrate this custom with her. They threw a HUGE party (like a mini-wedding!) and had probably 200 guests, can you believe it?! I remember when she told me this story, I gasped and screeched, “how embarrassing! How did you feel?!” and she laughed and replied, “Rich! I got $9000.00 cash as presents!” . . .

    I was floored! Ever since then, I confess that maybe I should have been more open-minded. Not that I’m materialistic, but imagine the opportunities a young girl might have with that kind of money! Getting a jump on college savings, or a car when you hit driving age, or a special summer camp opportunity or something . . . kind of interesting! For all the difficulty we face as women in society, perhaps using this moment to empower girls and help them envision new and adventurous paths might be a good thing πŸ™‚ReplyCancel

  • Amanda - I would have absolutely DIED if my mother had thrown me such a party. I didn’t even want her to know, much less any of my friends and/or family. I mean, we all know that it’s going to happen, and there’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s still all sorts of bloody grossness leaking out of your body. Why celebrate that?ReplyCancel

  • Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms - Holy Horrid, WTF, WTH, and every other expletive. I was just taking a break from writing by scrolling through Twitter and found your post. The post I am writing is about how everything in a girl’s life is not a hallmark-confetti-canon moment. Good lordy these people need to read that post when I am done.
    Thank you for sharing this. One of the little subtle details, this all came from one of those windshield decals! EllenReplyCancel

    • Jill - I KNOW!! And you know, chances are that woman driving the mini-van HAS a daughter she threw a party for… a daughter who now has to be escorted about in a mini-van ADVERTISING this!ReplyCancel

      • Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms - I’m showing my 13 y/o this tomorrow. I will be so golden. I want to stooge slap the woman.
        My daughter got her period when we were on a cabin camping trip with 4 other families, 3 bathrooms, and no less than 4 teenage boys and 14 other kids. No one was the wiser except for one other mom who I had to get the supplies from. And this all occurred 35 minutes before we had to check out. Oh, yes. EllenReplyCancel

      • BRANDI ELAM - I would have been mortified. Even the TV shows like Cosby and Blossom that discussed it embarrassed me.

        But it did get me thinking. I don’t have teenagers yet, but parenting gets harder as my kids get older. So I’m thinking maybe this could be used as a punishment later on? “Behave, or I’ll throw you a menarche party!”ReplyCancel

  • Arnebya - I’m trying to…I can’t seem to…what the…why…make it stop. I did have a “special day” where it was just the two of us when my oldest (at 10 WHAT THE HELL) started last year. She’d seen an old Cosby Show episode where it was celebrated. I said ok fine, sure, it’s the start of a new, um, cycle, so OK. But a party? Ensue absolute mortification had the suggestion crossed my lips. And yes, I’m giggling at but sorry for the daughter of the people who started that business becau…HOLY SHIT I CAN’T STOP LOOKING AT THE PARTY FAVORS.ReplyCancel

  • Brandie - The tv show According to Jim had an episode where mom went out of town, dd got period and Jim threw a period party. I can’t imagine it working in any other scenario than a sit-com frankly.
    Also, oldest and I saw it around puberty time and she looked at me and said something along the lines of if you do this for me I will kill you!
    Pin the ovaries? I just can’t imagine. How the hell do you do that not drunk and think it’s a good idea?ReplyCancel

  • Brandie - Okay, so, I was just reminded that I said I wanted to play pin the boobs on Brandie for my I kicked breast cancer’s ass party, but I totally don’t think that’s the same thing at all, but not all who live with me agree πŸ˜‰ReplyCancel

  • Becca Lynn - Yeeaaahhh…. I can’t imagine that MenarchePartiesRUs.com is a very positive business venture. Ha!ReplyCancel

  • Kristin - I am absolutely speechless! That is all speechless! That would be mortifying. I have a son so it wouldn’t even be an issue. But my bff has a tween daughter and she is embarrassed enough of us if we just go to the mall with her…ReplyCancel

  • Sara - I have actually heard of this in other cultures. It’s not so much “OMG you had your period,” but “because you’ve had your period, we can consider you at least an ‘apprentice adult’. I like the idea of some sort of marker for this point in a kid’s life. Our culture is so mixed up about what it means to be an ‘adult’. Is it 18 when you can vote and go to war? Is it 21 when you can drink? Is it 25 when your car insurance goes down? Is it when you settle down either in a solid career or with a family (or both)? With a ceremony at a specified point, whether it’s a certain age (like 13) or a certain milestone (like Menarche), it gives teens a way to ease into adulthood with at least some sort of recognition. That’s why I love the way some churches handle “confirmation”.

    That being said, the idea of celebrating the Menarche itself is amusing. My friends and I all compared notes and knew when the others had begun, as well as noticing other more … visible signs of puberty. It would be as embarrassing as hell, but I think it might serve a purpose for some.ReplyCancel

  • Cheryl - Even thinking about this makes me so thankful that I have three wonderful little BOYS! When I started my first period I was beyond mortified to discuss it with my mom and to this day I like to think my dad doesn’t know πŸ˜‰ReplyCancel

  • Deanna - Hahaha, okay, I can understand the concept of having a menarche party. But not like this! If anything I feel like this style makes it more trivial. When I got mine it really wasn’t a big deal… I went to the bathroom and there was some blood in my underpants, I yelled out “MOM I GOT MY PERIOD, can you bring me a pad?!” and that was that. I think maybe we went out for ice cream. If I’d had a party like that thrown for me, I don’t think I necessarily would have been embarrassed, but I would have been irritated. Like, “this is not a big deal, why are you making a big deal of it”. Maybe that’s just me and my upbringing though. I didn’t see it as any bigger of a deal than say, getting a cold. *shrug*ReplyCancel

  • Shauna - Really?? I cannot imagine! and how about the fact that someone is riding around with this on their car is almost just as bad! I would have died!ReplyCancel

  • Amanda D - “The goal is present a positive outlook on the change that all woman experience and decrease embarrassment. ”

    This line at her site KILLS me. DECREASE??? I would be mortified!ReplyCancel

  • Janalyn - Oh dear; I would have been totally mortified!! I think it would be fine to make it a special mother-daughter tradition, but not a big thing with MEN present! I talked about it with my friends, but in hushed tones while walking to the bathroom, not on a party invitation. How could that be a good idea for middle school girls just pouncing on anything different about each other?!?!ReplyCancel

  • Sol - We have a coming of age ceremony/party of sorts in my family. The women all get together and we talk about the changes to come, the powerful will of a woman and all she is able to accomplish. The power of our bodies and why menses are important etc. We didn’t have any special tableware but it was special and I was in no way mortified by it. It is a huge part of a woman’s life so I think it is important to have an open appreciation of our bodies and start with our daughters at a young age.ReplyCancel

  • beaded_bunny - Oh lord i was 7 when i got my first period. I had a hard time making it though my own birthday party without panic attacks. anyone tries to pull this and im sure i would go catatonic. i never told my mom or anyone. just figured it all out and went on wity lifeReplyCancel

  • JDT - OMG really? I would have been mortified if anyone had tried to throw me a party for that!ReplyCancel

  • Dana - Holy Menses… seriously?? I’ve prepped my daughter for her “day” – but really? I don’t even know how that convo would go w my hubs… “Hey honey, you staying here for our daughter’s period party?” OMG, I’d be mortified FOR her. How would I tell everyone on FB about that?

    Wow. Just wow.ReplyCancel

  • Step Away From The Confetti Cannon | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms - […] on this one, I direct you to Jill at Baby Rabies. She wrote a hilarious post — “Pin The Ovaries On The Uterus- It’s A Real Game” about the company that sells party supplies to celebrate a girl’s blooming into […]ReplyCancel

  • Robin Habacht - found more supplies….ReplyCancel

  • Tatina Lloyd - I did a menarache party for my daughter and five of her close friends. I did this BEFORE
    she got her cycle. I didnt play any of these games. We talked about
    what to

    exspect, how to use a pad,
    practiced putting on and taking off
    a pad. We also talked about healthy eat, excersice, not taking meds from friends, hygiene, attitude changes. Then after we had

    refreshments we went to walmart to show the girls where to buy the products and the differences. The girls the gathered items to buy so they could make a “when the day comes” bag. We used pretty bags we got from the make up ReplyCancel

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