Little Life Sucker

Oh hey, guess what? It’s another post where I whine about not sleeping!

I know. My blog is so original and profound.

My life is a little like Groundhog Day, so that’s probably why my blog feels like it. I just keep going on and on and on about how I’m not sleeping because, well, I’m not. Ever, except in 3 hour intervals at night and random cat naps during the day.

I know so many are wanting to be all, “SEE! Sleep training/abuse doesn’t work!” but to be honest, just a couple days after I posted about sleep training (and blew up the internet), we all came down with a cold that lasted… a month? Since I’m not a total monster of a mother, I didn’t leave my baby to cry while I knew she wasn’t feeling well. Then we just never got back on track.

Because the thing about sleep training (the way I do it, the way that’s NOT just leaving them to “cry it out” all night in their room alone) is that it is a hell of a lot more work than just waking every few hours to pop a boob in your baby’s mouth. We just haven’t had the energy to jump back on, but I know we need to.

Hell, even my moderately crunchy midwife agrees that my health and sanity at this point needs to take priority, and we need to figure some things out (but I already knew that, it’s just hard to make myself a priority when I’m so tired… if that makes sense).

On top of all of that, Leyna dropped her morning nap. That may seem all, “Awesome! Now you can do things in the morning and she will sleep extra long in the afternoon,” but really it’s like, “Boo! I can’t take a nap in the morning and I’ll be a zombie until she passes out after lunch, at which point I’ll have to decide to either shower or take a 15 minute nap before picking my 3 year old up at school.” Morning playdates just aren’t going to happen if I have to hold my eyelids open with toothpicks.

Oh, I want to blog about more than this. I want to craft and organize and take pictures and live a funny life again, but this little life sucker is not allowing it. It’s ridiculously hard to tell this face no.

And she knows it. 

To anyone who thinks about chiming in to remind me that “this is just a phase… a small window of time… it will pass before I know it… they are only this little once,” I say this with as much love and respect as possible, but please kindly F off.

Leyna is 13 months old and I am one cranky, tired bitch

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