Funny Thing About Sleep

It’s, like, essential to function. Bummer, right?

I mean, I would be a MUCH better mother and housekeeper and a freaking rock star blogger if I didn’t need sleep.

Why, sleep, why must I be so dependent on you?

Scott’s been on a business trip all week, but I was determined not to let everything fall to pieces while he was gone. Monday started out great. I actually slept pretty well the night before, having gone to bed at 10 (possibly a touch worn out or…. buzzed from the Super Bowl festivities). I got to sleep in since Scott was driving out that day, but he didn’t have to leave super early.

I kicked Monday in the ass. I cleaned all the things and blogged all the things, and I did that while the children slept. I kicked Monday in the ass so hard that I was SuperMom, Blog Superstar and a fucking Merry Maid all in the same day.

Monday night I had to get up with my STILL WAKING UP ALL THE FREAKING TIME ONE YEAR OLD, but I was able to make up for it by taking a quick power nap on Tuesday while Leyna napped and Kendall was at school. I powered through, cleaned even more things, got some work done, and totally didn’t neglect a single child.

Wednesday was a struggle. I napped again while Kendall was at school and Leyna napped (for 3 hours because why sleep at night when we can sleep all day when mother should be working?), but it was less a power nap and more a coma. I got drive through Taco Bueno for dinner and killed 2 baby seals by throwing everything away since I didn’t have the energy to take out the recycling. I then stayed up until 12:30 getting work done that I should have done while I was in my afternoon coma.

Leyna woke last night 6… 9… a billion times? Kendall crawled into bed at 7 this morning and I handed him my phone without even opening my eyes, “Here mmmmpphhhh….. play. Game. Quiet.”

Being the brilliant boy he is, seeing how beyond tired and completely vulnerable I was, he began whining that he didn’t want to play any of those games. “I want a neeeewwwww game, momma,” he quietly whispered in my ear while I tried to bat him away like a fly. Before he could eek out, “pleeeEEEEAAAssee” the 5th time, I’d typed my password into the app store and hit purchase. I do this often. There are days I don’t even remember buying the new game. I’m certain I do it in my sleep.

Now, I’m in walking zombie mode. I care not about the house. The blog schedule can go to hell. I didn’t make Kendall brush his teeth this morning. I’m not even sure if I brushed my teeth this morning.

Scott’s going to be home in a couple hours, and I’ve been bragging all week about how on top of things I’ve been. I’ll just have to throw my hands in the air and say, “Sorry you missed it,” when he walks in.

I’ve had my suspicions over the last year, but I finally feel confident claiming any and all of my incompetencies and my raising iTunes budget on my total lack of sleep and my sickening dependence on it.

Kendall is 3.5ish and Leyna is 13 months old