Thou Shalt Not Write About Letting Babies Cry

Oh yeah, I’m going there.

You know, for as much as I like to tell readers that I’m honest about the good and the bad, there is one subject on this blog I just avoid as much as blogging about religion- SLEEP TRAINING.

It’s time to cut the crap and drop this veil of secrecy that forces me to direct message and privately respond to questions about letting my baby cry herself to sleep. F all of this.

My one year old? She cries. Sometimes for long stretches. Sometimes while I lay in my bed, wide awake, fully aware that she is pissed as all hell that I am not there to pick her up and play peek-a-boo at 3 in the morning.

And I’M OKAY WITH THAT.

You don’t have to be okay with that, but you shouldn’t really care about that because, you know, I’m not making you make your baby cry herself to sleep. Just mine.

Oh, some of you may be disgusted by this admission. There are studies, I’m sure, that you will link me to. You may think I’m a bad example of a mommy blogger for encouraging such a parenting technique.

I’ve never claimed to be the perfect example, but I’ve always prided myself on my transparency… and this is something I should just quit trying to dance around.

I’m not writing about this to say what I’m doing is “right,” but please don’t view this as a plea for help, and for the love of  GAWD no book recommendations. I’m barely getting enough sleep to operate a moving vehicle these days. Unless you’re going to volunteer to come over here and re-enact the book with puppets and flash cards in short, attention-grabbing bursts, I just don’t have the time or the energy. (And I read plenty of books when Kendall went through all of this 3 years ago.)

Letting her cry was not our first choice. It’s not like I enjoy it. We’ve tried “gentle” techniques, but everything “gentle” just pisses her off more. It’s come to the point where it feels like the most fair compromise is one that equals her being pissed for a shorter time period (which is totally what happens when she’s left to cry on her own versus us hanging out, patting her back, but refusing to feed her) and lets me get 4 or more consecutive hours of sleep.

I’m trying not to go into defensive mode here because I don’t feel like I need to defend this choice. I’ll just add that she’s a YEAR old, not a week old. She does NOT need to eat every 3 hours anymore. She does not have an ear infection or any other ailment. She just needs to figure out how to sleep… and no, we’re not co-sleeping. It’s not an option for us. No, we don’t just leave her in there to cry all night, but it’s more of a judgement call thing than a every-5-minutes thing.

What it’s really boiled down to is that my children need and DESERVE a functioning mother during the day. I can NOT function without sleep. In fact, I’m confident the lack of sleep the last year has been a huge contributing factor to my postpartum anxiety, and the days following a few measly hours of sleep are awful, even with medication and a gallon of coffee.

Honestly, I don’t think babies need to be soothed every time they cry. Sure, when they are younger than 6 months, or they’re sick or hungry, yes, they should be tended to quickly. But, sometimes they’re just annoyed or pissed, and that’s okay. They can feel that way. Those are emotions they can navigate on their own sometimes.

That’s MY philosophy, one that I’m comfortable with, knowing what I know, and having been through this parenting thing more than once now.

It doesn’t have to be your philosophy, but please don’t equate me letting my 26 lb one year old cry and throw tantrums in her bed at 3 in the morning because I won’t feed her magic-sleepy-milk for the 2nd time in 3 hours to child abuse.

And for those of you in a similar situation, the only advice I can give is to go with your gut. Sure, read books if you have the time, but mainly, read your baby’s cues and what feels right to you.

I truly feel that most parents are trying really hard not to screw up their kids, and I’m sure very few take the decision to let their baby cry in the middle of the night lightly. So can we please stop demonizing educated parents who feel like this is their only option?

Edited to add- 

People, people, PLEASE understand the difference between me letting my ONE YEAR OLD cry for UP TO 10-15 minutes at a time and letting a newborn scream for 8 hours, hyperventilate, choke on their vomit, kill their brain cells, etc. 

I thought I made it clear when I clarified twice that she’s A YEAR OLD, that I think any baby under 6 months should be tended to quickly, or any baby who is sick. I didn’t think I’d have to spell. that. all. out. But I guess I do because so many are assuming I’m advocating locking a baby of any age in a dark room to scream incessantly, regardless of circumstance.

So, let’s all be clear that that is not my stance. 

Just as I advocate and practice safe co-sleeping (though we don’t do it any longer), a parenting choice that many jump to conclusions about and demonize, referring to parents who do it as “uneducated” and “lazy,” I also practice “safe” and responsible sleep-training, which is obviously another polarizing parenting choice people are quick to jump to conclusions about. 

If you are the mother of a newborn considering leaving your baby in her cold, dark room for 8 hours to scream and cry while you’re drinking and watching a Lost marathon on Netflix, then I encourage you to do more research than just reading my blog post and taking what I have to say as medical and professional advice.  (That disclaimer was actually necessary because I’ve had several people tell me I just encouraged that behavior by posting this blog. I’ll also be sure to make a disclaimer that parents shouldn’t co-sleep with boa constrictors and meat cleavers in their bed the next time I talk about that… just so I’ve covered all my bases.)

244 thoughts on “Watch Me Break Mommy Blogger Commandment #1”

  1. You will get no side eyes here. When we moved my daughter into her own room at 14 months, we had to do the CIO for like a week. She needed nothing other than just wanting to sleep in our bed, and quiet frankly, it just didn’t work anymore.

    It took a week, and since then we have had some hiccups, but our family is much better with her in her own room.

  2. We let our son CIO much earlier than this (much earlier!), so no judgement here! I, actually, think it’s good for them and a happy and well-rested mom is also a good thing!

  3. Bravo!!!!!!! I didn’t let my son CIO but that was my choice and I applaud you being open and frank with us about your choices. I do not judge you one bit!! I understand that what works for one kiddo may not work for others. I’m glad you found something that works for your family =D

  4. Each child is different. My oldest would cry like a banshee any time we even got him near the crib. Everything we did just seemed to make him more mad (and 40 minutes of listing to a baby cry at the top of his lungs is NOT fun). I gave in and let him sleep with us at first, and when I got sick of that let him cry it out. Our second I could sometimes get to sleep without crying if we stayed with him for long enough…but not always. Our third is amazing…rarely had to let him cry it out. He’s 3 now and sometimes asks to go to bed! He learned to climb into his crib before he learned to climb out of it !

    Some may thing we’re just getting better…and there may be a little to that but I doubt it. I think people who think letting a baby cry it out is abuse must have children like my 3rd. If they’d had my first they’d think differently.

    And AMEN to being a better parent if you get more sleep!

  5. Wait… this is “a thing” too? Seems perfectly logical to me. You hear parents saying stuff about letting them cry it out all the time. I don’t get what the big deal is. Sigh. I have GOT to quit the blog world the SECOND I get knocked up. Seriously.

    Do what you do, girlfriend. (That would be accompanied by a z-snap had I just said that in real life except not really because I am white and not cool.)

  6. I can’t even tell you how perfect the timing is of this post. I just got out of bed (i first typed “woke up” but then realized I didn’t sleep) after a looong evening of my 15mo. old screaming, “mama! maaamaaa! boobieeeee!!” if we didn’t live in an old apartment with a neighbor whose bedroom is directly below said screaming toddler, I’d let the poor girl throw her fits. But in all honesty, after last night I might as well send a fruit basket to my neighbor and tell him to suck it up and pretend it’s training for his future daddyhood. Ooh, coffee is ready.

    1. When my daughter was just over a year, we lived in a townhome with very thing walls. I decided it was time to let her cry it out so I talked to my neighbors (young, childless couple–so I probably did them a favor in the birth control dept.) and told them what was up. Then the afternoon before we decided to start CIO, I left them a bottle of wine on their doorstep with a note that said “Sorry in advance for tonight”. They loved it 🙂 and it took three days! Of course, we have since moved into a house and are back to not sleeping…but thats another issue altogether.

    2. I live in a top corner apartment.. Ive got one behind, on the side, and below.. Its the week of Thanksgiving.. guess I’ve got some wine to buy!! With a note saying thank you.. :/

  7. I love you for this post! The judgy moms can just go cry about this. You are a great mom and know that you both need to sleep in order to function and be all that you can be. Good for you for admitting this and making other moms know they aren’t alone!

  8. We sleep-trained our son MUCH earlier with the CIO method and it turned out that he wanted to sleep all night too! Ha! Go figure. Being stupid new parents, we were getting up with him every hour, on the hour, whenever he cried, and I am nowhere near functioning if I don’t sleep at night. So we did it. And I don’t care if other people don’t like that we used CIO. If they feel THAT strongly about it, maybe they’d like to come over and take the night shift for the first dozen MONTHS or so? 😉

  9. I decided a long time ago that I was going to be HONEST with my friends and with my family when they asked about what was going with D and what we were doing with her (sleeping, feeding, etc.) and at the same time I decided that as long as the child was not in any actual danger I was going to be accepting of what other people did with their kids (in other words, cry it out, co-sleeping, breast or bottle all ok, locking your kid in a dog crate-not ok). This mommy wars, judgemental crap has got to STOP. Honestly what are we gaining by shaming other people?

  10. Yes, for your sanity, the kids need to learn how to sleep on their own! Other moms can judge me all they want, but I’m the one getting a full 8 hours of sleep! My oldest, 3, will ask to nap and be put to bed. Score! Now that Ethan is 8 months (wait, 9 months today, holyshit!) he’s learning to sleep on his own. Mommy CAN NOT rock you for 20 minutes twice a day so you can nap!!

  11. Dude, she’s one YEAR old, not one week old. I think there’s a huge difference. FWIW, my daughter didn’t sttn until she was around 14-15 months old. Major suckage. Hang in there. What else can you do?

  12. I love you more with every post. We did CIO with our daughter when she was 8 months old. She was waking up every 45 minutes all night long. She was exhausted, we were exhausted, and my poor first graders were tired of their crazy bear of a teacher. I honestly think teaching her how to fall asleep on her own was the best gift we could give her. And OMG Leyna is a year old, not a week or a month. There is nothing wrong with letting her cry! Thanks for being brave enough to share!

  13. I’m in the same boat, and honestly, the difference between a child waking once or twice in the night, fussing for a few minutes, and going back to sleep until 6:30 and a child waking literally every hour on the hour and then awake for the day at 4:30 for weeks and months on end could be the difference between life and death if I fall asleep at the wheel. I stuck it out for as long as I could, but it got to be a risk that I couldn’t take. You have to do what’s right for you and your family.

  14. I don’t have kids, but when I do which should be pretty soon, the CIO method that everyone here is talking about sounds like a plan to me. I have a friend who had twins and immediately got them on a strict routine & sleep schedule. Those kids were the best behaved babies I’ve ever met. I’m sure she had to let them do some CIOing, but it looks as though the results were worth the bleeding ears. I think you’re going the right direction.

    1. Plans are good. They are what keep you distracted when pregnant.

      I think you have cause and effect backwards with your friends twins. They are naturally calm and compliant, and so responded well to the structure and order and seem like “good” babies. If you want that method to work the same for you, make sure you have the right kind of baby.

      Sincerely,
      Mother of an easy or “good” baby

  15. We are staunch supporters of the CIO method.

    Momma needs her sleep.

    & like you said, it’s very much a “judgment call.” If he’s sick or sounds truly frightened or upset, I go in. I rock him, rub his back, assure him that Momma is here & he is safe. If he just sounds pissed because he didn’t want the fun to end, he can find me kicked back with a book & a glass of wine downstairs.

  16. I GET IT 100%. Didn’t have to do it with my 2 year old but my 4 month old needs some help. After talking to our ped, we decided she had to go 6 hours. After that I feed her, one time a night. If she wakes again, we let her cry. Honestly, I do not function without sleep. I leave with both kids at 6:30am for work. I need to be able to sleep. And she is better for it. She self soothes and ends up crying for less than 10 minutes. Some nights she never wakes, some nights she does. But in the end, mama’s know what they need to do for themselves and their kids. No side eyes or book recs here!

  17. way to go! my rule for crying it out with my four kids was 4 months old, so i’m a much meaner mommy than you might be considered. i’m basically satan. 😛 but it worked for us. and i totally believe in the need for them to learn to self-sooth. they NEED that skill! to heck with anyone that gives you crap.

    nicole

  18. AMEN. TO. YOU. SERIOUSLY!!!! I could have written this post. My daughter, Lena (pronounced “Lay-nah”) not only shares your child’s name, but temperment and ability to still demand nursing every 3 hours even though she is 12 months old. Truly, I couldn’t have written that any better myself. Verbatim what you did and your rationale and your take on it all is how we felt. We were finally just done. Because she didn’t NEED to eat. Because my boobs were the only way she’d go back down. She’s nurse for 45 seconds to a minute and pass out. Repeat 3 hours later. I HATED every other mom that had a baby sleeping 12+ hours uninterrupted since 4 months. Hated them. We tried to shush her, rub her back, give her water, “tank her up” before hand, give her musical sea horses, pacifiers, womb sounds, EVERYTHING. It just pissed her off more if we tried to do anything but give her the effing BOOB. My husband went into a coma, I think. We just went throught the motions, thinking it would resolve itself because we didn’t want to be those heartless parents that did CIO. But on the night of her 1st birthday, momma snapped. Momma needed moer than 3 hours of sleep at a stretch. So I shut her door and let her cry. She cried all night long. I cried all nigth long. She’d stop for 30 minutes (probably passed out). I literally did. not. sleep. She’d start up again, angrier than before (if that was possible). When dawn finally peeked through the curtains, I was scared to see what kind of child we had in that crib. She was her usual happy perky self. Hmmm…..maybe there’s something to this. Night #2, same shenanigans….but this time she actually was quiet for an hour at a time. Night #3…..I fell asleep to a screaming child at midnight, strangely woke up at 8 AM and had my first 8 hours of sleep. I felt horrible even after the fact….even though it WORKED….I still felt horrible for having to do that to her. But I realized she was just being a turd. She wasn’t in need. Alas, we’ve slept uninterrupted for 8+ hours every night for a month now. I commend you for being transparent and for just DOIN’ it. The hardest part is just pulling the trigger and going along for the ride.

  19. I give you high praise for this post. As a mom of 3 I have used the CIO method with all 3 of my kids to different results. My first was about 9 months old and waking up between 2-3 times a night. We started sleep training and within a few weeks he was sleeping through the night and not crying at bedtime. With my second it wasn’t even necessary. He was a self soother from day one and it made for an easy transition from rocking him to sleep to him sleeping on his own. My third (and final?) Is 2 and we are still fighting every night. He cries, screams, and throws things for sometimes hours and we kiss, sing, tuck, retuck, and leave the room a zillion times a night. Each kid is different but more important it is about what works for us as parents. Happy, healthy parents equals happy, healthy kids!

  20. Oh we are SO there. Hannah is an AWFUL sleeper & it’s driving me batty. We have tried the progressive Ferber approach and it just doesn’t work. She screams harder when we come in too often. I’ve also heard we should ditch the paci because we’re having to go replace it but we’re not ready to do that either because the paci DOES help her.

    So yeah, we listened to her cry for the better part of 45 minutes last night at 1:30 a.m. I know she’s not hungry. She nurses 4 times day and gets three solid meals and some finger foods to play with throughout the day. We finally phased out the middle of the night feedings and although I know it would have made her stop crying if I fed her at 1:30 I don’t want to start that nonsense again.

    If you figure out the magic solution let me know because there are days I’m seriously delirious from lack of sleep.

  21. Thank you, Sweet Baby Jesus, for this post. My almost six-month-old is developing worse and worse sleep habits every night. He currently has a slight cough we are waiting to subside, and then it’s CIO for us. I’ve asked for advice, and it drives me nuts when people shove, “YOUR BABY WILL HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE!!!!” shit down my throat. I know my pareants made me cry it out. I know my parents were made to cry it out. My husband CIO when left in the care of his grandmother. Hundreds of thousands of babies have CIO throughout the years, and guess what? CIO isn’t what messes any of them up!

  22. no judgement here. her learning how to sleep and her own self soothing techniques is truly a gift to her. hope she figures it out soon!

  23. THANK YOU for your post. I am battling out 3am wake ups/bottles with my nearly 12 month old, and I feel like such a bad parent, but how else is he going to learn, right?

  24. Well, when she commits armed robbery at 15 years old, we’ll know why.

    Seriously, though, I’ve got a similarly pissed 1 year old girl, who only screams louder and longer and pushes me if I pick her up when she’s mad in the middle of the night. Sometimes I surrender and drag her off to our bed so she doesn’t wake up her brother. Sometimes we are both just too tired to move, and she ends up snarking at us all. night. long. But you know what? The next night she usually sleeps like a gem. (That would be the night her brother has 3 nightmares, but no matter.)

    I too think a lack of sleep contributes to a lot of emotion instability (mine, the preschooler’s, the toddler’s, husband’s…everyone’s). If I’m too tired to be a good-enough mom during waking hours, there’s no point in my being an overly-attentive mom during should-be-sleeping hours.

  25. The thing that gets a lot of mamas hot & bothered (me included, though I never talk about it) is when women follow pediatrician’s words verbatim as early as two or three weeks postpartum. “Your baby is ___ lbs so she SHOULD be able to sleep ___ hours.” And then those mamas end up getting bummed about low milk supply down the road. Pediatricians are not lactation consultants, or sleep specialists, or therapists, or even women half the time 🙂

    Every family is so different. Good for you for getting to this point on your own, and I can only imagine it’ll do worlds of good for your sleep and anxiety issues. I’m following along because I’m in a similar boat with nine-month old twin girls. Thanks for sharing!

  26. Good for you, talking about CIO! We’ve had to do with with both of our kids and they’re just fine and dandy, thank you. I know that they feel loved and not at all abandoned and quite frankly, if we hadn’t, I’d still be getting up 3 or 4 times a night and that sucks for EVERYBODY. You gotta do what’s right for your kids and no one has the right to judge you for that.

  27. Umm, we let jack “CIO” at around 6 months when it was taking us almost 2 hrs to put him to sleep. Best decision ever. He just wanted to sleep and fall asleep on his own. Parents need to be sane and rested to raise their kids.

  28. Yeah, what you said.

    My daughter’s entire 2 years of sleep history has been lesson after lesson in what doesn’t work for us and we’ve come to the realization that whatever it takes for us all to get as much sleep as possible is what we have to do. It’s a survival game at our house. It’s more important that Daddy and Mommy are functional during the day than the little one, and every night is different with her. Some nights are too easy and some nights are too hard. That’s life.

    Good for you for doing what’s best for your individual child with no apologies.

  29. It’s like you’re in my head! I had/have the same thoughts about CIO. I had to do it for the sake of my sanity and the sanity of those around me. I don’t like sleep, I LOVE sleep. When I don’t sleep, the world better watch out.

    The results for us were amazing. 3+ nursing sessions a night before CIO turned into 13+ hours of blessed silence. A year and a half later, she still sleeps.

    I rethink the want for another child every time I get to sleep 9+ hours straight per night. Is it really worth it?

  30. I think this is a well-written post that shows how parents, especially moms, need to do what’s best for them and their family – which won’t always jive with attachment parenting technique. You know your kid and you know what you’re capable of. I think there’s a big difference between this type of letting your child cry to sleep and the beliefs held 30-40 years ago (i.e., that you could “spoil” your child if you picked him or her up a lot during a crying jag, as if a 2-week-old can be spoiled).

  31. Preach it, sister! Kids DO need to figure out on their own how to sleep. It isn’t EASY letting your child cry, but it’s the right thing to do in many instances. You get through it, they learn to sleep and everyone in the family is better off for it.

  32. Kids need sleep. Parents need sleep. Heck, I have a four year old that still needs to thow a bedtime tantrum occassionally, and he seems to be surviving. Co sleeping and anything gentle are just against that child’s nature.My 5 year old cried 30 minutes one night, and has slept like a champ since. I firmly believe many parents underestimate a small child’s ability to manipulate a situation. Is CIO for every child/ family? Definitely not! But some kids just need to learn a little earlier that sleep is somthing their family values, and it will not be overcome by tantrums. Kiddo, you just throw that fit. I’ll be busy getting the time I need to myself and with your daddy, so that I can enjoy you when you are rested and pleasant again. No judgement here!

  33. All I have to say is…AMEN. I’ve been letting my 15mo CIO ever since she was about 7 or so months, and after the first few nights she started sleeping between 8-11hrs a night. Just like you said, I know when she wakes up with that different cry,she’s either sick, gassy, or teething. Hate when people try to make parents feel bad for making the decision to do this…I always think, “are YOU going to come and get up every night at 2am with my baby and then function all day, everyday on 4 or fewer hours of sleep? No? That’s what I thought.” I know how horrible of a sleeper I’ve been my whole life and didn’t want that for my daughter. Thanks for posting this!

  34. To each his own with this sleeping thing. I don’t judge those who let their kids CIO. I have friends who did it from birth. I don’t judge…but their kids sleep better than mine, so how can I judge?

    With my 3 year old, I woke with him HOURLY from birth until 3 months. Come to find out he had reflux. Then I returned to work at 6 months and could not deal. We did CIO at 7 months, but then he got an ear infection. It was torture. Every time we did sleep training by day 3, he got sick. It never stuck. I should have demanded ear tubes, but i didn’t want surgery for him. At 17 months, he FINALLY got it. But then at 21 months he got another ear infection, we went on vacation and sleep as we knew it was over. At 3 he is IN OUR BED and has to be touching one of us to sleep. I can’t even put him in another room when we are AWAKE without him screaming bloody murder. He is a very sensitive, needy kid. He has tons of fears. And when I ask him why he needs to sleep with mommy and daddy, he says he needs to cuddle…sigh.

    I now have an almost 8 month old who is a MUCH better sleeper, but is also IN OUR BED. But he sleeps all night and I am being gentle with getting him in his crib FOR NOW.
    I will sleep train him if he doesn’t get it in a couple of months. But for right now I am happy with our situation.

    So call me jealous…BOTH of your babies are in their own beds…while neither one of mine are..YAWN. LOL
    I can dream of that situation…ONE DAY.

  35. My son cried before falling asleep every single night until he was two and half years old. Believe me, we tried everything and I did feel bad about explaining this to relatives when we were visiting. We learned to see it just as lung exercise, his last output of energy, not a cry for help. He was fine, he was safe, he was tired and crying and then he went to sleep.

    Now he goes to sleep on his own and sleeps all night long. I get a full eight hours and cherish every minute because baby number two arrives in three months and I’ll be a zombie all over again.

  36. I don’t CIO but I won’t judge you for your choices either. You and only you know what is best for your baby, your family and yourself. Love you. <3

  37. We did it with Robbie, too. He was 6 months adjust/almost 10 months actual and the worst sleeper ever. It came from months of not eating and being hungry (but refusing to eat) all the time, but even after he got his feeding tube, he still woke every 45 minutes or so. And it would take hours to get him down at all.
    it took 2 days of sort of a modified Ferber method and bam! He’d go straight to sleep and sleep 8 or 9 hours. We were all healthier and happier, believe me.
    He’s 3.5 now and looking back, I feel like that was when our life really began. We switched from survival to enjoying life.

    Charlotte’s a better sleeper now (at 3 weeks adjusted/8 weeks actual) than Robbie was at 6 months, but she still wakes a lot and sometimes stays up. And she wants to be held ALL the time. I’m already looking forward to the day when she can sleep normally and if that requires sleep training again, it will.

    There certainly are studies about CIO being bad, but I believe those involve letting a child cry incessantly, not for a few minutes every once in a while.

    I mean, honestly.. sometimes I have to let her cry for a few minutes out of necessity. If the 3yo and the 8 week old are crying at the same time, I have to check to make sure the 3yo isn’t bleeding before tending to teh 8w old who is likely just needing a boob or a hug. If she cries for a minute or two while I do that.. she just does. It’s not that I enjoy it, but choices have to be made.

  38. dear lord this is exactly how i feel about our 8 month old daughter. she is over 20 lbs, she’s mobile, she’s exclusively breatfed & she cries just to be soothed for one minute of milk or snuggling. we cannot cosleep anymore– i NEED my sleep– i have a son newly-diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder & a baby. if i want to do them justice as a mom during the day (working from home at night & raising them 24-7), crying it out has to be utilized at this point. i completely get your choice & we are doing the same. good for you for saying how it is– i’m a freelance journalist so i completely applaud your transparency.

  39. This post comes at a great time for me, personally. I have an 11 1/2 month old, who will turn 1 this coming Saturday. She falls asleep with me every night in a chair watching tv and drinking her bottle. She’s VERY attached to me, I breastfed her until she was 9 months old when I found out I was pregnant. I knew I could still breastfeed her while pregnant, but I was already worn out. BTW, this new baby is my 5th, so I’m a very very busy mommy. One in school, three at home, and one on the way. The last couple of months she has woken up in the middle of the night and sleeps with my husband and I, and we’ve had no issues with it, because we were getting sleep. The last couple of weeks have been torture though. She flips and flops and jabs her knees, feet, hands, and head wherever she feels like. And I’m constantly getting headbutted or slapped. My husband is not getting the sleep he needs for his work day. It’s been stressful. So I woke up this morning thinking “this has to stop”…I know she will probably cry in her crib and it might take a few days, or even a couple weeks, but she will learn to get herself back to sleep and stay asleep. Different methods work with different kids (as well as different parents!) and to each his/her own, My oldest was perfect, I had NO sleeping problems with her from birth. She slept 13 hours straight every night since she was born. My 2nd gave us complete hell. She was up every hour most nights, and I was a zombie. She ended up coming and sleeping in our bed until she was 3 (I do not want a repeat of this!) and my 3rd, well he was great, normal. He got up every few hours as a baby and it slowly moved to just once a night and then not at all by the time he was 1. He put himself in his own bed at 13 months old and slept fine. So now I have to figure out what will work for this one, (and one more!) As parents we shouldn’t judge each other, no one is perfect and if you are, well then good for you, I’m happy as a learning on the job type mommy.

  40. It has always been weird to me that mothers are so concerned with what OTHER people do with THEIR children. Bravo for doing what works. We decided we needed to balance the needs of the whole family, as well as balance his real need for good quality sleep with his desire to be with us. A lot of moms I know think I am heartless but they cannot believe how easily and how much my kid sleeps lol.

    1. Weird? Really? Makes perfect sense to me, when I see my own reaction to babies, human or otherwise. I feel like I’m mommy to the world the way my heart strings get yanked all over the place.

      I’m not saying its good, that peolple get all judgmental, but I certainly understand the immediate, visceral reaction a parent has to another child’s distress.

      Throw in the natural feeling of insecurity about your own choices, which makes you want to dismiss other choices as flat out wrong. Makes for a perfect storm.

      1. Thank you for being gracious enough to clear that up for me. My child must be so lucky to have you being mommy to the world and caring about his distress.

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  • I always keep teething oil in my bag these days. He has FOUR top teeth trying to come through. 😫I try not to stick dirty fingers in his mouth, especially right after I pump gas. 🤢So I also keep some @handzies soap and water wipes with me. #inmypurse
  • On our way to get the other three. We really loved spoiling Wallace this week and living that one baby life for a bit. I think he's bored of us now, though.
  • So thankful for my mom who has the energy and patience to not only watch these three but to take them to the beach all by herself. Like, that's not even something I'd attempt. She's such a badass.
  • Oh yes we did turn this #joovyspoon into a #stlblues mobile! I'm in love with the idea of personalizing one of our fav baby things this way! Must confess it was Scott's idea, but I ran with it and came up with some other ideas in today's blog post. PLUS!!! @joovy is giving away one Spoon walker (US only). Link in bio!
  • Managed to distract him from his fever for a bit with some snacks and a spoon in the Nook highchair @joovy sent. It folds up super compact so I'm hopeful it will work well in the RV. #joovynook
  • Of course he'd get his first fever the week we sent the other three to NaNa's and planned to be super productive. #babydontcare we have a house to sell. Snuggles come first. ❤
  • Arlo grew a little.
  • Another day, another house, another nap. Nothing, not even NaNa, can keep him from his love for sleep from 3-5 pm. #loloyolo
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