Guest Mommy Truths: Table Dances & Bras

I took a sick day today because my mom came in town to watch the kids and my body was like, “YAY! This is the BEST time to get SICK. I know you thought you would go on a date tonight, but really, wouldn’t you rather be sick now? Because, you know, we could arrange to be sick next week when she’s not here to make you soup for dinner and get up early with your kids. Your choice.”

And I was all, “Okay. FINE. Romance be damned.”

So instead of sharing a bottle of wine and adult conversation, Scott and I have shared a sore throat and a bag of Halls.

Anyway, this has nothing to do with the following 2 guest Mommy Truths I’m going to post.

I have no ability to segue when sick. So… yeah.

That was courtesy of the HILARIOUS Jen from @TheNextMartha on Twitter (FOLLOW. HER.) and

This next one, such wise words of wisdom to bestow upon all daughters from an early age, is from a reader.

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