“I’ll get the house organized again eventually. We’ll get our closet cleaned out and those maternity clothes packed away soon. I’ll have time to sit down and plan out my schedule one of these days. One of these days I’ll wake up and won’t feel like I’m treading water the rest of the day. One day, life will return to normal.”
I began telling myself this around a year ago when the pregnancy exhaustion peaked and I just gave up. I figured I’d return to some semblance of a sane, every day existince that allowed for a clean house and regular schedule a couple months after the baby was born. Then I figured it would happen after we finished the hardwood floors. Then I thought it would come back together when the summer got here and my husband’s travel schedule would SUPPOSEDLY slow down.
This? This life of chaos amidst running errands and playing catchup. These days that never seem long enough, where I feel like I’m just trying to stay afloat, triaging my to-do list. These hours that are consumed by TRYING TO GET CHILDREN TO SLEEP, getting children fed, getting children clean, keeping children alive. This is what “normal” looks like now, I think.
Trying to go back to the “normal” of yore, is like trying to return to the days when I could wake up, get dressed and leave the house 15 minutes later, looking fabulous, wear the same fancy clothes that managed to stay clean all day, have 2 glasses of wine while watching whatever show I wanted and fall asleep on the couch. It’s never going to happen again… at least not for a very long time.
No real point to this post other than to bitch and complain. I’m just having a hard time adjusting to this new normal. What does “normal” look like for you? Please tell me it gets better when the kids are in
free, full time daycare school. Is that when I’ll have time to sit around and eat bonbons, read magazines by the pool and polish my already clean countertops?
Kendall is 3 years 2 months and Leyna is 6 months old (and currently on a napstrike and OMG, WHY WOULD ANYONE NOT WANT TO SLEEP?)